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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America Comics #13

Captain America Comics #13

The League of the Unicorn!

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes spot an Asian man being chased by a gang calling themselves the League of Unicorns — an Asian gang that wear unicorn horns on their heads. Changing into Captain America and Bucky, the two heroes fight off the man's attackers, forcing their leader King Unicorn Zang to order their retreat. The dying Asian man tells Captain America and Bucky that the League of Unicorns seeks to destabilize relations between the United States and China and says that in order to do so they plan on assassinating the visiting Prince Tsaihoon and Princess Yana, and dies.

As the royals are travelling by train to Lee City, they are targeted as their train rolls over a rail bridge over the Black River. The League of Unicorns attempt to raise the bridge to cause the train to fall into the water below. However, Captain America and Bucky interfere with the plan forcing the rails back into their proper position and forcing the Unicorns to flee once more. Boarding the train, Captain America and Bucky tell the royals about the threat on their lives, and they agree to let Cap and Bucky act as their protection while they visit Lee City. Just then, a rock is thrown through the window of their passenger car containing a note from King Unicorn Zang warning Captain America and Bucky that protecting the royals will lead to their death.

Arriving in Lee City, the royals, Captain America and Bucky are introduced to the mayor and Burton J. Hargrave, the owner of the railway they were riding on. As they are loaded up in cars to head to city hall, the one that is supposed to carry the princess is taken over by members of the Legion. In attempting to fight them off, Captain America and Bucky are overpowered and the League manages to kidnap both the princess and Bucky before escaping.

Taken to their mansion hideout, the captives are taken to King Unicorn Zang who sends another letter to Prince Tsaihoon. This one demands that he come to the mansion alone to spare the life of his wife. Captain America decides to disguises himself as Tsaihoon and go in his place. His disguise fools Zang and the others enough for Cap to attack them. During the fight Cap kicks out their lantern plunging the room in darkness. As the Unicorns struggle to find light, they find that Captain America has seemingly fled. However, Cap is hiding in the rafters of the building and then follows the League of Unicorns to their true hideout, an Asian dry cleaning establishment in Chinatown. There he fights his way through the guards and falls through a trapdoor that leads him to a series of underground tunnels.

Meanwhile, Zang gloats his victory to Princess Yana and Bucky, telling them that he intends to assassinate Tsaihoon so that foreigners will no longer meddle in the East and ancient rulers may take over once again. Bucky frees himself from his bonds and attacks the Unicorns alone until Captain America arrives. The duo fight off the gathered Unicorns but Zang escapes with Yana. As they are untying Yana, Burton Hargrave appears telling them that he was searching for the League himself and knew about these old abandoned subway tunnels and thought to search them independently. Sending Bucky to get the police, Cap and Hargrave enter the tunnels to search for Zang, but Hargrave disappears.

Spotting Zang, Captain America chases after him but is slowed down when he is attacked by a massive warrior employed by the Unicorns. Zang meanwhile has Yana tied up once more and threatens to kill her with a strong acid. Captain America arrives shortly and smashes the vials of Zang's acid before he can use them. Zang gets the upper hand when he tosses a grenade that causes a cave in that covers Cap, but the hero pulls himself out and begins fighting Zang again. Just as other members of the League arrive to stop Cap, Bucky arrives with the police and rounds them up. With the fight over, Captain America reveals Zang to be none other Burton Hargrave, who hopes to snatch up power for himself in the east by destabilizing China through the death of the royals.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky

The Lighthouse of Horror

The Last Chance Lighthouse is a supposedly haunted lighthouse that helps guide ships away from a dangerous reef during the night hours. A group of thugs led by a man named the Looter have set up shop nearby, and using a remote device to snuff out the lighthouse light, they cause ships to crack up on the reef so they can loot them, leaving the ships to sink and the crews to drown.

The next day, Sgt. Duffy is reaming out Steve Rogers once more for his poor performance when Bucky enters the room with a letter from Betty Ross. Reading the letter, they learn that Betty is coming back from her vacation aboard a boat coming in through Washington. Bucky is excited because it gives them the opportunity to check out the Last Chance Lighthouse, whose haunted legend interests Bucky very much. When they hear a radio report about the sinking and looting of a ship that was filled with gold, they decide to go into action as Captain America and Bucky to make sure that nothing happens to Betty's boat.

That night as the ship pulls ashore, Betty is spending time with fellow passenger Mr. Phillips. Phillips is about to propose marriage to her but misses the chance when Betty is suddenly distracted by the lighthouse light going out. Shortly thereafter the ship gets caught on the reef. Meanwhile Captain America and Bucky, also noticing the light going out, go to investigate but find that the door to the lighthouse has been put out. Spotting that Betty's ship has been caught on the reef and a group of men are boarding the ship, the two heroes go to their rescue. Aboard the ship, Betty has lost track of Mr. Phillips when she is grabbed by one of the pirates. Cap and Bucky attempt to fight their way through but Cap is knocked out by a blow to the back of the head and Bucky is taken prisoner.

Coming around, Cap rushes back to the lighthouse and forces his way in. He is attacked by the lighthouse keeper who throws a stool at him before disappearing in a hidden elevator. Finding the secret passage to the elevator, Captain America catches up to the keeper and stop him. When the keeper (named Leems) denies any shipwrecks he flees from the Captain again and bars the door to prevent Cap from following him. Cap decides to give up chasing the keeper and focus on finding Bucky and Betty.

In a secret chamber within the lighthouse, the Looter has Bucky and Betty as his hostages. He tells Betty that he does not intend to harm her but that he must kill Bucky. While outside, Captain America finds the secret entrance to the room, fights off the guard on duty and makes his way inside. Cap fights off the pirates, but the Looter manages to escape. Freeing Betty and Bucky, the trio follow after the Looter who traps them in a room that he begins flooding with water. Hearing another boat getting caught on the reefs, the trio double back and Cap and Bucky fight off another attempt by the pirates to loot. While the two heroes are distracted, the Looter reappears and captures Betty again.

With the pirates rounded up, Captain America and Bucky go after the Looter, deciding to question Lems again. They learn that Lems is really blind, and that he had the help of an assistant that promised not to tell his employers so he could keep his job. Cap and Bucky realize that the Looter had been manipulating the blind man for his own ends. Realizing how he has been duped, Lems shows them the way to a secret room that the Looter has been using. There Cap catches the Looter off guard and knocks him out with a single punch. Realizing he was wearing a mask, Cap removes it revealing him to be none other than Mr. Phillips.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky, Betsy Ross, Sgt. Duffy

The One Man Invasion

Headline Hunter is sent to interview Lord Danvers, one of England's biggest publishers who has written editorials that have boosted the morale of the British people during the war. As Hunter conducts his interview, not far away a Nazi plane flies over British airspace and its passenger parachutes to the ground. He introduces himself to some farmers as former Nazi official Herr Horner, who has defected from the Nazis and demands to speak to Danvers. Soon meeting with Danvers, Horner tells him that he wants to spread the truth about what is happening in Nazi Germany. Lord Danvers agrees to work with him, and offers Hunter to be on hand to publish the details in American newspapers as well.

Put up for the night, Horner — who is really attempting to kidnap Danvers to silence him — is met by Gestapo agent Cramm. However, this late night meeting is spied by Headline Hunter, who spots Cramm climbing in through Horner's window. Rushing into Horner's guest room, Hunter overhears their plot and knocks them both out. However, when Danvers enters the room to ask what is going on, Hunter is distracted long enough for Cramm to regain his composure and knock Hunter out. They rush Danvers out of his house at gunpoint and drive to an airplane that they have stashed in the countryside.

Reviving, Hunter races after them on a motorcycle and stops them before they can escape, knocking them out until the military arrives to take them prisoner.

Recurring Characters

Headline Hunter

Origin of the Secret Stamp

Roddy Colt is the top newspaper delivery boy or the Freetown Star and also the highest seller of Defense Stamps for the war effort. One day he is out delivering papers with his brother Tom. While Roddy goes off to deliver some papers, Tom decides to try and ride his older brother's bike. While he is doing so, he is run down by some mobsters. Roddy returns just in time to see the crooks steal the Defense Stamps and drive off. With his bike ruined and Tom's leg broken, Roddy is stuck until his reporter friend Jerry Dash arrives and drives them to the hospital. After Tom is left there for treatment, Jerry decides to help Roddy out by purchasing him a new bike and rigging it with a two-way radio so that Roddy can alert Jerry of any scoops.

The incident of the day convinces Roddy that he must do something about crime in the city and develops the costumed identity of the Secret Stamp. He soon becomes a well known figure in town busting up crooks and hoodlums that would victimize the innocent people of the city.

One day, Roddy runs into Spud Sickles, rival newspaper delivery boy for the News. Spud tells Roddy that he intends to try and sell a subscription to Banker Williams who has moved into the old haunted house nearby. Unwilling to be beat out by the competition, Roddy takes a short cut and beats Spud there. When he attempts to sell a subscription to Williams, Williams freaks out, telling the boy that he is being blackmailed by mobsters to leave ten thousand dollars at the old cemetery at midnight.

Roddy decides to go into action as Secret Stamp and investigate this plot. Sure enough, the crooks arrive to take the demanded money. Secret Stamp accidentally gives away his position when he sneezes and is captured. The mobsters intend to tie rocks to Secret Stamp's legs and toss him in the river. They also take the boys bike, who allows Secret Stamp to call Jerry Dash and request that he come with the police to help.

When the crooks prepare to toss him in the river, the Secret Stamp fights back. Running back to their car to retrieve his bike, he finds the stolen stamps from the day before and gets an idea. Rushing the mobsters with his bike he barrels through them. As the police and Jerry Dash arrive, the Secret Stamp slaps a Defense Stamp on the leader's forehead and leaves. As the police are rounding up the mobsters, Roddy returns in his civilian guise and tells Jerry that he "spotted" what was happening and called it in, thereby protecting his double identity. The next day when Spud attempts to claim that he is the Secret Stamp, Roddy tells him that he doubts the claim.

Recurring Characters

Secret Stamp, Jerry Dash, Spud Sickles

Continuity Notes

  • In All-Winners Squad: Band of Heroes, Secret Stamp was depicted as a grown man who was enlisted in the military as part of their Crazy SUES super-soldier program. An explanation for these differences is that the same series revealed that Timely era stories were comic books commissioned by the United States army that depicted stories based on true events to boost support for America’s involvement in World War II. As such, all of the Secret Stamps’ appearances in Captain America Comics are entirely suspect as it is unknown how much truth there is behind them.

Captain America Comics #12

Captain America Comics #12

Captain America Comics #14

Captain America Comics #14