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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #299

Amazing Spider-Man #299

Survival of the Hittist!

Ever since he escaped a failed armed heist the night before, Spider-Man has been trying to track down the mercenary known as Chase. After crisscrossing the city for hours, Spider-Man picks up his spider-tracer signal coming from inside the trailer of a big rig and goes to investigate. His cover is almost blown when a kid in the car in front witnesses Spider-Man's arrival and tries to warn the driver. With the truck stuck in a traffic jam, he is spotted by a traffic officer. He tells Spider-Man to get off the truck or he will be arrested. When Spider-Man tries to explain that a dangerous supervillain might be inside, the driver calls his bluff, telling the officer that it is building supplies for Carleton Drake. Since Carleton Drake is a respected businessman the officer wants Spider-Man to provide proof. Not wanting to rip the doors off for fear of innocents getting hurt in a potential crossfire, Spider-Man asks the officer will take his word for it. Having heard enough, the policeman tells Spider-Man to scram. Inside the trailer, Chance is being kept sedated by members of the Life Foundation. Watching as the truck to go into the Holland Tunnel, Spider-Man decides to give up for now since the truck could be heading anywhere once it reaches the New Jersey side.

Spider-Man then heads home, but when he arrives on the roof he discovers that his skylight is locked. There is a note taped to it about a "skylight repairman" and to go through the front door. Spider-Man then leaps into the alley beside his apartment and recovers the spare set of clothing he stashed there and changes out of his costume. Inside, Peter Parker discovers that his wife has hired a cleaning lady named Estelle. Mary Jane explains that she hired Estelle when she became a model. Going into the bedroom, Peter tells her about his inability to find Chase and is upset by this failure. She suggests that Peter go out and party because that's exactly what she would do to cheer herself up.

Meanwhile, in New Jersey, Chance is brought to a property owned by the Life Foundation. Inside the trailer, Carlton Drake's guards are concerned about keeping Chance alive. Drake assures them that the Life Foundation has planned for every contingency, and keeping Chase alive is integral to them. They soon enter the private underground compound built by the Life Foundation called Sanctum Maximus. At that moment, Peter and Mary Jane are partying at the Spawning Club, a trendy bar. Peter is surprised by all the celebrities and fashion personalities that are there. Peter finds Mary Jane's world exciting, but only wishes to experience it in small doses. While back at Sanctum Maximus, Chance has had all his equipment removed and has been shackled to the chair. Members of the Life Foundation have not been able to figure out how get the devices to work. Now they threaten to harm him if he doesn't reveal their secrets, but Chance refuses to talk.

Later that night, Peter and Mary Jane are back at their apartment. Peter still can't get his mind off of Chance and tells Mary Jane that he has to go back out looking for him. Mary Jane understands but asks Peter to be careful. The following day, Peter goes to the Daily Bugle and checks their computer database on any information pertaining to Carleton Drake. He finds nothing entirely sinister, but prints off the records for later examination. The only item of interest was supporting an agricultural support for Empire State University. On his way out, Joe Robertson asks Peter if he is going out to get some more freelance photos. Parker tells him that he might do so later, but for now he's going back to school. Peter pays a visit to his old alma mater, ESU, where he asks administrative assistant Annie Deitz to pull up the records about the Life Foundation's connections to ESU. He soon learns that the Foundation provided free property in northern New Jersey until recently when they took it back. Making a connection between the land and the truck heading into New Jersey, Peter figures where Chance was taken. Peter considers calling Mary Jane to tell her where he is going but decides against it as it will only make her worry.

Soon, Peter hitchhikes up to the northern part of New Jersey. By the time he arrives in the area it is nightfall. Slipping into the trees, Peter changes into his Spider-Man costume and begins looking around. He eventually finds a gated area surrounded by armed guards. Secretly entering the property, Spider-Man searches around until he comes to a massive camouflaged facility. He begins looking for a way in when a truck approaches the facility. Spider-Man hitches a ride underneath the vehicle to get inside. He is shocked by the massive facility within. Rolling out from under the truck and taking cover behind some munitions crates, Spider-Man wonders if the Life Foundation might be some kind of terrorist organization. Suddenly, Spider-Man begins picking up his spider-tracer. After a quick search, he finds where Chance has been confined. Spider-Man agrees to let Chance free in exchange for an explanation as to what is going on. Chance explains that the Life Foundation are a group of wealthy survivalists who believe that the end of the world is coming soon. In order to survive, they have constructed this sanctuary so they can survive the end. He was hired to steal weapons to provide Sanctum Maximus with enough firepower to defend it from attack.

Spider-Man manages to get Chance free, but the controls to his chair were wired into the alarm system. When guards begin coming into the room, Spider-Man has no choice but to call a truce with Chance and allow him to regain his weapons. With the combined firepower provided by Chance, Spider-Man is able to fight through the guards. By this point, Carlton Drake decides that the best thing to do is retreat. As they escape in a helicopter, Spider-Man and Chance make their escape. On the way out, Chance uses his blasters to ignite the crates of weapons. The pair manages to get out just moments before Sanctum Maximus explodes. Chance thanks Spider-Man for the rescue and offers to give him a lift back to Manhattan. Meanwhile, Mary Jane returns to their apartment. Seeing what appears to be her husband's costume in the darkness, she believes her husband is home. However, she is shocked when his mask suddenly smiles revealing a mouth full of teeth. Turning on the light, Mary Jane is horrified to see that this man is not her husband, but a massive grinning brute wearing something that looks just like Spider-Man's costume.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Chance, Life Foundation (Carlton Drake), Venom

Continuity Notes

  • Peter had a spare set of clothing hidden there circa Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #128 for a situation where he couldn't get in through his skylight.

  • Peter and Mary Jane are identified as husband and wife in this story. However, years later, the demon Mephisto altereded history to erase their marriage from existence. That happened in Amazing Spider-Man #545. Since then, reality has been altered so instead of being married, Peter and Mary Jane are living together in a common-law relationship.

  • One of the celebrities that is attending the club is comedian Eddie Murphy. However, this should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

Amazing Spider-Man #298

Amazing Spider-Man #298

Amazing Spider-Man #300

Amazing Spider-Man #300