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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #319

Amazing Spider-Man #319

The Scorpion's Tail Of Woe!

Hired by Justin Hammer to kidnap General Chester Musgrave, the Scorpion has instead decided to hold Musgrave hostage in exchange for J. Jonah Jameson. Unable to risk the life of Musgrave, Spider-Man finds himself reduced to picking up a pizza for his foe when he becomes hungry while waiting for Jameson to arrive. Although the Scorpion mocks Spider-Man for being unwilling to let innocent people to get harmed, so Spider-Man made sure that the pizza had anchovies, much to the Scorpion's disgust. When Spider-Man checks to see how things are developing, the Colonel in charge informs him that J. Jonah Jameson is not cooperating with them. When Spider-Man considers asking the Scorpion to give them an extension, the villain informs them that their time is up and begins shooting wildly with his tail blaster in order to cover his escape.

When the Scorpion tries to retreat in a helicopter waiting to pick him up, Spider-Man tries to hitch a ride with a web line. However, the Scorpion sees this and cuts Spider-Man loose. Shooting another line onto the Scorpion's tail, Spider-Man swings up and secretly tags his enemy with a spider-tracer. When his web line is cut by the helicopter's rotor blade, Spider-Man to make a dive into the East River. Later, at the mansion of Justin Hammer, the wealthy inventor learns about how the Scorpion reneged on his deal. Deciding to make an example out of the villain, he goes over his list of operatives in order to find someone suitable to go after him. Meanwhile, in Forest Hills, Spider-Man returns to his Aunt May's home where he has been staying. He learns from his Aunt that his wife Mary Jane is still out on a modeling shoot. However, in reality, Mary Jane is once more dancing her worries away after being sent home from another modeling assignment. She is pulled off the dance floor by her friend Sandy Kitzler, who shockingly tells Mary Jane that she won't be getting another modeling gig ever again.

Meanwhile, in Soho, Harry Osborn takes his wife Liz to the loft building that he recently uncovered. He explains to his wife that with the damage done to an Osborn Chemicals plant uptown he has decided to move his family here so he doesn't have to commute from New Jersey to oversee repairs. However, Liz is worried because she sees a Green Goblin mask among the boxes of items in the room. When he brings this up, Harry assures her that he is throwing it out with the rest of the trash. Back in Queens later that evening, Mary Jane returns to Aunt May's house to find Peter waiting up for her. Mary Jane explains that the reason why her modeling gigs have been drying up because of the machinations of Jonathan Caeser. Even though he is in prison for trying to kidnap Mary Jane, he has been using his influence to blackball her from the modeling industry.

At that moment in an abandoned barn in Connecticut, the Scorpion is hiding out from the authorities while he tries to figure out what to do about General Musgrove. Since he double-crossed Justin Hammer, he considers the idea of selling Musgrove's for his military secrets. He thinks the best thing to do is see if the Kingpin is interested in making a deal, and makes plans to return to Manhattan in the morning. The next morning, Spider-Man has skipped classes once again to try and pinpoint the spider-tracer he planted on the Scorpion the day before. The wall-crawler is in luck, as he eventually picks up the signal coming from a truck on the street below. This is because the Scorpion got lost driving his way back into the city and ended up in Queens. Spider-Man webs up the windshield of the van, forcing the Scorpion to crash the vehicle. Spider-Man then frees General Musgrove and tells him to run for cover. However, before Spider-Man and the Scorpion can duke it out, they are ambushed by the Rhino and Blacklash who have come to recover the General and punish the Scorpion for disobeying orders. While Spider-Man gets Musgrove to safety, the two mercenaries go after the Scorpion. This leads them to the site of the old New York World's Fair. There, Spider-Man takes on Blacklash, while the Scorpion battles the Rhino. While Spider-Man is sufficiently distracted, the Rhino overpowers the Scorpion and forcibly removes his mechanical tail. By the time Spider-Man has recovered, both Blacklash and Rhino have escaped.

After checking on General Musgrove, Spider-Man contacts the authorities to take the Scorpion away. He then asks the General if he doesn't mind posing for some photos for a "friend" of his down at the Daily Bugle.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Blacklash, Rhino, Scorpion, Mary Jane Watson, Aunt May, Harry Osborn, Liz Osborn, General Musgrave, Sandy Kintzler, Philip Barnett

Continuity Notes

  • The Scorpion has had an axe to grind against Jameson for his involvement for his gaining his powers. This happened in Amazing Spider-Man #20.

  • Nobody is aware that Jameson was replaced by the Chameleon, as detailed in Web of Spider-Man #50-54.

  • The various villains in Hammer's computer screen are unavailable for various reasons:

    • These individuals are the Beetle who is listed as inactive. At the time of this story, the Beetle's armor was recently rendered inert by Iron Man in Iron Man #127. He will have his armor repaired by the time he next appears in Fantastic Four #334

    • Leap Frog: Who hasn't been in Justin Hammer's employ since Iron Man #127, this is because he gave up his life of crime, as seen in Marvel Team-Up #121.

    • The original Blizzard: Listed as inactive here, he is actually deceased, as he was killed by Iron Man 2020 in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #20

    • Man-Killer: is listed as deceased, this is likely because she was last seen being electrocuted in Marvel Team-Up #107. However, she survived and will resurface years later in Thunderbolts #3. 

    • Force: Is also listed as inactive. He hasn't been employed by Hammer since Iron Man #141 when he defected to the side of Tony Stark. Regardless, Iron Man deactivated his armor in Iron Man #225. Force resumes his activities as an armored mercenary in Iron Man (vol. 3) #79.

    • Lastly, Porcupine is listed as deceased. He died during a battle against the Serpent Society in Captain America #315.

  • Peter and Mary Jane are identified as husband and wife in this story. However, years later, the demon Mephisto erased their marriage from existence in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such, Peter and Mary Jane are a common-law spouse here, as opposed to husband and wife.

  • The chemical plant was damaged due to a combination of a battle between Spider-Man and the Hobgoblin and the Inferno event in Spectacular Spider-Man #146. This story erroneously attributes that story to Spectacular Spider-Man #46.

  • Jonathan Caeser was obsessed with Mary Jane to the point where he kidnapped her from Amazing Spider-Man #307-309. This landed him in prison where began using his influence to make life difficult for the Parkers. The first part of this scheme was to get Peter and Mary Jane evicted from their condo at Bedford Towers in Amazing Spider-Man #314.

Amazing Spider-Man #318

Amazing Spider-Man #318

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #23

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #23