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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #552

Amazing Spider-Man #552

Just Blame Spider-Man

At Mount Sinai Hospital, J. Jonah Jameson is still recovering from his heart attack. He demands that the nurses give him a copy of the Daily Bugle, but they refuse because the added stress could trigger another heart attack.[1] Jameson is totally unaware that his wife sold the Daily Bugle to Dexter Bennett who has since rebranded it as a tabloid called the DB! The front-page stories include an editorial suggesting that Spider-Man might be a serial killer, as well as coverage on the recent death of mayoral candidate Lisa Parfrey and how this might impact the upcoming election if Russell Crowne runs unopposed.[2] Peter Parker really doesn’t need this sort of trouble and when Joe Robertson questions Dexter publishing the story, Bennett hopes that Spider-Man tries to sue the paper as it would boost circulation. When Joe suggests Dexter could be making himself another victim, prompting him to order Betty Brant to hire him a bodyguard and the paper to put an the imaginary threat to Dexter’s life on the front page.[3]

When Peter later tries to get photos of the funeral at Forest Hills Cemetery but is barred from entering the cemetery by security. Instead, he sneaks in with his spider-powers, using the forest as cover. As he takes photos he spots Harry Osborn with his girlfriend Lily Hollister and her father, district attorney BIll Hollister and wonders what they are talking about. Bill is asked to run for mayor against Randall Crowne, but he tells those inquiring that a funeral is not an appropriate place to discuss such matters. As he continues to take photos, Peter wonders if Menace actually intended to kill Lis Parfrey or not and how Jackpot is doing since she blamed herself for the councilwoman’s death. After taking his photos, Peter heads to the FEAST Center where he is volunteering his time with his Aunt May feeding the homeless.

While there, a drug addict that everyone called Freak steals the donation box and makes a run for it.[4] Peter goes after him even though Aunt May thinks it is too dangerous. Changing into Spider-Man, Peter catches up with the Freak and tries to web him up. The addict manages to get away by calling out to people on the street, saying Spider-Man is trying to murder him. The chase continues, but not without a few humiliations being heaped on the wall-crawler as he rips his costume in a sensitive place and ends up running through some wet cement. Eventually, he catches up to Freak on the rooftops. There the Freak throws the donation box off the roof. Spider-Man then webs him to the side of a water tower while he goes down to the street to collect the stolen money. That’s when officers Vin Gonzalez and Alan O’Neil arrive. Vin tries to arrest Spider-Man right away, but Alan stops gets in the way, allowing Spider-Man to escape. Alan’s attempt to convince Vin that Spider-Man is helpful fall on deaf ears.

When they go up to the roof to check on the Freak, they discover that he managed to slip out of his jacket and get free of the webbing. Fleeing the scene, Freak ends up falling through a skylight and lands in the middle of the lab. Thinking he discovered the meth lab of a local drug dealer, the Freak goes rooting around for drugs to shoot himself up with. However, this is not a meth lab at all, but Curt Connor’s research lab which is being used for stem cell research. By this time, Peter Parker has returned to FEAST where Gonzales and O’Neil are interviewing Aunt May. Peter corroborates her story that Spider-Man was not responsible for the robbery and that the real culprit was a local drug dealer named Freak.

That evening, Freak is sick after injecting himself with the materials he found in Connor’s lab and blames Spider-Man for what happened. Suddenly he throws up a bunch of bloody organic material. To his horror, this clot of organic material grows in size and envelops his whole body before forming a protective cocoon. Later, Peter Parker meets with Harry Osborn and Carlie Cooper at the King Class Club where Harry’s girlfriend, Lily Hollister is throwing a party to collect donations for her father’s run for mayor. Feeling compelled to make a donation, Carlie crosses out Peter’s name to save him from himself since Peter works for the DB! which supports Randall Crowne, and the fact that Peter couldn’t afford to make a donation anyway.

The following morning, clean-up crews finds the Freak’s cocoon in an alley and the police are called. At the same time, Curt Connors discovers that someone has been rooting through his lab. Soon, the story of the mysterious cocoon hits the news. Watching the coverage at the Bar With No Name, the Bookie begins taking bets about the cocoon from the super-villain patrons.[5] When the Trapster accuses the Bookie of fixing his last bet, he assures them that he did not, saying he has a family reputation to uphold.[6] Just the same, the Ox warns the Bookie that he’ll be in a great deal of pain if they find out he’s been double-crossing them. While back in Queens, Peter is mending his costume and thinking about how he needs to get a place of his own. When he sees the news reports about the strange cocoon, he decides to head into the city as Spider-Man and try to get some up-close photos for the DB! However, when Spider-Man arrives on the scene, he discovers that his camera batteries weren’t charged. Just then, the cocoon bursts and out emerges Freak — now transformed into a skinless monstrosity — screaming with agony as he is reborn.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Freak, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Betty Brant, Harry Osborn, Carlie Cooper, Lily Hollister, Aunt May, Dexter Bennett, Bill Hollister, Vin Gonzales, Alan O’Neil, Curt Connors, Lightmaster, Ox, Shriek, Wrecking Crew (Wrecker, Bulldozer, Thunderball), Spot, Slyde, Trapster, Black Mamba, Hydro-Man, Zarrko the Tomorrow Man, Bookie, Speed Demon, Clown, Doctor Bong,

Continuity Notes

  1. J. Jonah Jameson suffered a heart attack while arguing with Peter Parker in Amazing Spider-Man #546.

  2. Dexter Bennett bought the Daily Bugle in Amazing Spider-Man #547. Spider-Man is a person of interest in the so-called Spider-Tracer Murders which the NYPD has been investigating since Amazing Spider-Man #548. Lisa Parfery was killed by a runaway Goblin Glider during Spider-Man’s battle with Menace last issue.

  3. Betty quips that she is a reporter not a personal assistant. Betty actually got her start at the Daily Bugle as the secretary to J. Jonah Jameson in Amazing Spider-Man #4. After years working for the Bugle, Betty later became a reporter in Web of Spider-Man #91.

  4. The Freak has been plotting to steal FEAST’s donation box since Amazing Spider-Man #546.

  5. There are a few specific bets that are made (none of which are proven true, as I shouldn’t have to tell you):

    • The Wrecker things it’s that “X-Men Chick”. He is referring to Jean Grey who was replaced by the Phoenix Force X-Men #101. She spent time in a protective cocoon at the bottom of Jamaica Bay until she was revived in Fantastic Four #286. At the time of this story, Jean Grey is dead after being killed by Xorn in New X-Men #150. Jean will later be resurrected (again) Pheonix Resurrection: The Return of Jean Grey #1-5

    • The Bookie lays 15-to-1 odds if it is Jean Grey’s clone. This is a reference to Madelyne Pryor who, as revealed in Uncanny X-Men #241, was a clone of Jean Grey created by Mister Sinister.

    • The Bookie also lays odds that it could be Captain America in the cocoon. At the time of this story, Captain America was gunned down in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. He will be resurrected in Captain America: Reborn #1-5.

    • Lightmaster thinks this seems more like a “Fantastic Four” thing. This is a reference to how the Fantastic Four had their own encounter with a cocoon when they encountered the Enclave as they were creating Him, the man who would later be called Adam Warlock circa Fantastic Four #66-67.

  6. The Bookie last took bets when Overdrive was attempting to flee capture in Free Comic Book Day 2007: Amazing Spider-Man #1. The Bookie’s father took bets among the super-villain crowd before him as we’ll learn in Amazing Spider-Man #562

Amazing Spider-Man #551

Amazing Spider-Man #551

Amazing Spider-Man #553

Amazing Spider-Man #553