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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #565

Amazing Spider-Man #565

To Squash a Spider!

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Now

Someone in a Spider-Man costume wakes up chained upside down in the sewers. When he asks where he is, he’s approached by a young girl who asks if he knows who she is. He doesn’t, which comes as a surprise to her, and she tells him that she is the one who is going to finally kill Spider-Man.

Two Weeks Earlier

Spider-Man and Daredevil are working together to take down Fracture, who has been using his powers to commit insurance fraud. As they battle in a construction site, Daredevil and Fracture are both annoyed by Spider-Man’s constant patter.[1] As they battle the foe, they are unaware that they are being watched by a young woman with night vision goggles. She wants to attack Spider-Man but tells herself to bide her time.

After they deal with Fracture, Spider-Man heads for home, his spider-sense buzzing occasionally as the young woman gets too close tailing him. She lets Spider-Man go but has the location of his home narrowed down to the block. She pulls back and collects evidence from the scene and returns to the massive apartment she has leased. Inside, she begins a computer search and manages to piece together the evidence. Back at home, she uses her computers to look up information on Peter Parker.

One Week Later

Peter Parker has landed a new job working at a comic book shop. While his co-worker, Mike, is going on about how Peter needs to read comics in order to better relate to customers, Peter’s spider-sense begins going off. He suddenly pushes Mike to the floor, narrowly avoiding a sniper’s bullet.[2] Peter is forced to use his spider-powers to get Mike to the relative safety of the subway. His co-worker is now fully aware of Peter’s powers and is about to figure out his secret identity when Peter quickly tells Mike that he is a Skrull and will kill him if he reveals his secret. Afraid for his life, Mike assures Peter that he’s secret is safe and runs away.[3] This is only the first move of the woman who is seeking to kill Spider-Man.

At the 5th Precinct, Peter’s roommate Vin Gonzales is called into a meeting with Sargeant Quentin Palone. Palone says that a drug dealer was murdered with Vin’s off duty .38 Smith & Wesson. Vin insists that it was in his locker the whole night, but Palone reveals that it is part of evidence as it was found at the scene of the crime. Palone suggests Vin get in front of this because while the Internal Affairs Bureau is investigating he is on suspension. Later that day, Peter Parker is served a subpoena for a civil suit being filed against Spider-Man due to the fact that Peter has taken a lot of photos of Spider-Man in the past.[4] Later that day, as Vin is walking home, he is run down by a car but is not seriously injured.

The Next Day

Peter meets up with Harry Osborn and Vin at a local bar where they are playing pool. Vin is still in a bad mood and thinks that Peter’s usual bad luck is rubbing off on him, and reveals that he has been the target of bank fraud and had his entire bank account cleaned out and now the bank of threatening to foreclose on his student loans. Harry tries to relate, talking about the problems he’s having running the Coffee Bean, but Vin just dismisses these issues since Harry is wealthy. Vin has enough and decides to head home.

There he is ambushed by the young woman who, thinking Vin is actually Spider-Man, orders him to put on the wall-crawler’s costume at gunpoint. Ordering him to turn around, she then knocks out Spider-Man with a blow to the back of the head.

Now

Thinking she has Spider-Man prisoner, the young woman tells him not to beg and then shoots the chain suspending Vin from the sewer floors. She then unmasks Vin and asks him how he’d like to die.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Kraven the Hunter, Daredevil, Fracture, Harry Osborn, Vin Gonzales, Quentin Palone

Continuity Notes

  1. Daredevil wishes the isotope that gave him his powers made him deaf as well as blind. He is referring to the radioactive materials that gave him his powers back in Daredevil #1. Spider-Man mentions fighting Fracture in the past, that was in Blade (vol. 5) #10.

  2. There are a lot of comic book references here they are:

    • Mike comments about how a publisher won’t be able to get a title out three times a month. This is a reference to the fact that Amazing Spider-Man was published on a weekly basis following the launch of the Brand New Day storyline. This thrice monthly publication schedule ran from Amazing Spider-Man #546 until issue #648 when the title reverted to a bi-monthly publication. They actually succeeded in doing so.

    • Mike also recommends that he check out a comic book titled Codename: X-Men by Vaughn and McNiven. Although no such title exists he is likely referring to Marvel writer Brian K. Vaughn and artist Steve McNiven. However, at the time of this publication, the pair had not actually worked together on a Marvel title.

    • There are a number of different comic book covers that are seen as Peter and Mike flee the sniper are: X-Force (vol. 3) #4, Thunderbolts #121, Secret Invasion: Who Do You Trust? #1, X-Men #39, Marvel Age #36, Mighty Avengers #15, Marvel Comics Presents (vol. 2) #9, Captain Marvel (vol. 6) #1, Wolverine: Origins #25, She-Hulk (vol. 2) #25, Fantastic Four #558, Alpha Flight #3, Captain America (vol. 5) #39, Iron Man: Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. #31

  3. Mike freaks out when Peter says he is a Skrull. This was likely added to hype up Secret Invasion which was being published around the same time (although chronologically happens much later than this story)

  4. Spider-Man is being sued by a man who was hired to change the sign atop of the Daily Bugle Building after he was knocked off his scaffold by Menace in Amazing Spider-Man #549. Peter had a career photographing Spider-Man for years since in Amazing Spider-Man #2. Other than a few failed career changes Peter photographed for the Bugle almost consistently until he was recently fired from the DB in Amazing Spider-Man #561 for refusing to photograph actor Bobby Carr’s new mystery girlfriend.

Amazing Spider-Man #564

Amazing Spider-Man #564

Amazing Spider-Man #566

Amazing Spider-Man #566