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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #575

Amazing Spider-Man #575

Family Ties

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Spider-Man has found himself in one of those situations. While trying to recover SIMON, a cybernetically augmented mouse, the wall-crawler has found himself protecting the mouse and its new owner — a homeless woman named Greta that found SIMON in a dumpster — from a gang of armed mercenaries that are, oddly enough, dressed as clowns. As Spider-Man tries to get SIMON and Greta to safety, the homeless woman keeps on shrieking in the web-slinger’s face, making it hard to keep from throwing up due to her powerful halitosis. As Spider-Man incapacitates the mercenaries, he and Greta end up crash landing in the middle of a carwash, giving Greta a much-needed bath. After wrapping up the crooks, Spider-Man tells Greta to hang tight while he puts in a call to the Fantastic Four so they can relieve her of SIMON. In thanks, Greta kisses Spider-Man, who finally loses his lunch.

Meanwhile, Hammerhead arrives at the hideout of Mister Negative to report back in after a much-needed vacation in Ecuador. Hammerhead says the trip was education, but Mister Negative reminds Hammerhead that he saved his life to destroy everything he is pointed at.[1] Hammerhead agrees but points out that a hammer can be used to build things to, and the grateful mobster wants to help Negative carve out his criminal empire.

Later that day, Peter Parker arrives at the Brooklyn officers of the Front Line where Ben Urich is giving the bullpen an impassioned speech about how their organization is a family. Seeing that Parker is soaking wet gives Norah Winters — who is just meeting Peter for the first time — to make a joke at his expense. With the pep-talk ruined, Urich tells his reporters to get to work and asks Peter to meet him in his office. Urich asks Peter to use his connections to Lily Hollister to get the Front Line a one-on-one with her father, mayoral hopeful Bill Hollister. However, Peter wants to avoid Lily after she tried to kiss him since she is dating his best friend Harry Osborn.[2] Peter makes an excuse saying that he is working on a story with Norah Winters, unaware that she works in community events and that she is presently covering the Bronx Outreach Educational Fair.

At that moment, in the Bronx, a young man named Dunk Winslow has earned his place in the GFL2K gang after hitting a rival Korean gang and is about to be branded with the gang logo when they are interrupted by Hammerhead. Hammerhead admits that a sense of family is important in organized crime but sees this whole scene as a bunch of kids pretending to be grown-ups. When the leader of the gang tries to pick a fight with Hammerhead, he kills him with a single head butt and tells the rest of the gang members that he is going to educate him on their new family.

By this time, Peter and Norah have arrived at the Bronx fair, where Norah jokes about Peter going out of his way to try and get on a date with her. Peter dismisses this, pointing out when he first met her she was making fun of him. She admits she knows that Peter is really avoiding Lily Hollister and wonders what he’s hiding. He is saved from explaining himself by the surprise arrival of his Aunt May who is delighted to see him. The two women tease Peter about Lily Hollister, warning him to stay away from her. Peter decides to get out of the firing line to look around, leaving May and Norah to introduce themselves to each other.

Looking around the different competitors, Peter is drawn to Anthony Winslow who tells Peter that he needs to win this competition so he can use the money to buy a computer, saying that he could use his genius to make it rich on the stock market. To demonstrate to Peter how smart he is, he correctly guesses what day of the week it was on a particular date.[3] That’s when Dunk comes to collect his brother, telling Anthony that science will get him nowhere. When Peter tries to defend Anthony’s desire for education, Dunk shoves Peter aside and leaves with his brother. Norah is impressed with Peter standing up for the kid’s education but tells him that nothing less than a scared straight tactic will convince them otherwise.

Later that evening, the few members of the GLK2 gang who have refused Hammerhead’s demands to join up with his gang, including Dunk, are arming up to defend themselves should Hammerhead come knocking. Standing guard at the window, Dunk tells Anthony not to worry about the man they simply call “the Hammer” because the GLK2s have the situation under control. As Anthony leaves the room, Dunk is yanked out the window by Spider-Man who tries to scare Dunk straight by talking tough. However, the wall-crawler admits he’s not good at it when he flubs his tough talk and the pair gets to laughing. Dunk admits that he didn’t want to get involved in any gangs but was pressured into joining and hasn’t felt safe. That’s when they hear screams coming from inside the apartment. Inside, Hammerhead has just murdered the other gang members and is telling Anthony to pass along a message to his brother when Spider-Man and Dunk come rushing in. Spider-Man is horrified by the sight and tries to punch out Hammerhead, but the blow only breaks Spider-Man’s hand. His ribs are next as Hammerhead hits him back. Spider-Man is shocked that this new Hammerhead is not the 40’s mobster wannabe of old and as he is pummelled and broken by his opponent, Hammerhead explains that his body has been given a metallic skeleton and skin lined with kevlar. Hammerhead beats Spider-Man into submission, telling the wall-crawler that it is a brand new day and he either has to embrace it or die…

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Hammerhead, Mister Negative, Norah Winters, Ben Urich, Aunt May, Dunk Winslow, Anthony Winslow

Continuity Notes

  1. Hammerhead was nearly killed after he was shot up by a rival crook while spending time at Ryker’s. He was then recovered by Mister Negative who had his scientists enhance Hammerhead’s body with a metallic skeleton and kevlar lined skin. This all happened in Amazing Spider-Man Extra! #1.

  2. Lily kissed Peter last issue. While Peter thinks that she is making a move on him, in reality, she kissed Peter in order to prevent him from discovering the secret passageway to a cache of Green Goblin weapons that she has been using when she goes out as the Menace. This is all revealed in Amazing Spider-Man #586.

  3. Peter gives the date of August 10, 1962. Anthony states that August 10th was a Friday. He’s correct. August 1962 is the date that Amazing Fantasy #15 — Spider-Man’s first appearance — was published at least that’s what it says on the cover. However, the indicia on the inside of the comic lists its date of publication as September 1962. The copyright/distribution date on Amazing Fantasy #15 was actually June 5, 1962, a Tuesday. Where does the August 10th date come from? Who knows, probably just picked arbitrarily.

Amazing Spider-Man #574

Amazing Spider-Man #574

Amazing Spider-Man #576

Amazing Spider-Man #576