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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #583

Amazing Spider-Man #583

Platonic

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Watching Spider-Man take out a brand new villain in a suit of cybernetic armor, Betty Brant can’t help but wish her friend Peter Parker could be there to see it.[1] She begins getting the story down as Spider-Man leaves and she is joined by Peter, who says he was running late because of the large crowd.[2] Betty then takes Peter to a local restaraunt that is hosting a speed dating event, as she has made it her mission to get Peter a girlfriend. However, she watches Peter bomb out with every person he meets, she reminds herself that despite how smart Peter is, he’s frequently unreliable.[3] As she expected, when the speed dating session was over, Peter had no luck meeting somebody. As they head to the FEAST Center, Betty thinks it’s sweet that Peter is going to walk his Aunt to the subway back to Queens. After reminding Betty to keep her Friday night open, Peter goes to talk to Aunt May privately. As she watches the pair talking, Betty thinks Peter is planning something for her birthday, which happens to be that Friday. While May goes to get her purse, Peter notices a mugger running down the street and makes quick excuse to get away.[4] Betty sees this is another example of Peter being unreliable unaware that he has slipped away to become Spider-Man to stop the mugger. When May comes back out, Betty explains Peter’s absence and offers to walk May to the subway. Surprisngly, May rejects Betty’s offer, telling Brant that she can make it on her own.

The next day when Betty show up to meet with Peter at his apartment, he’s not there and Peter’s roommate Vin Gonzales doesn’t know where he went. Unknown to either of them, Peter is out as Spider-Man again, this time fighting the Menace who has resurfaced. The following day Betty meets with Peter outside the Front Line just as he finished talking to Joe Robertson, who she hadn’t seen in ages since he quit working at the DB.[5] The following day, Betty is rushing to work after being up late then night before. That’s when she accidentally bumps into Jay Jameson. She is instantly charmed by the elderly gentleman who tells her that he had been out of New York for many years and had not heard about the Daily Bugle’s change to the DB. Learning that Jay doesn’t know anybody in town she decides to give him May Parker’s phone number, thinking the pair would make a good match.[6] Later that evening, Betty meets with her friend Haley in an attempt to set her up with Peter. However, Peter is running late as Spider-Man is rescuing people from an apartment fire. When some men at the bar buy them a pitcher of margaritas the two women decide to have a drink while they wait for Peter. However, when Parker finally arrives, both Betty and Hailey are drunk and Betty has spent the time waiting telling her friend about all of Peter’s flaws. Seeing that she is drunk and that Haley is busy talking to another guy, Peter decides to take Betty to the Coffee Bean so she can sober up.

When Peter goes to talk to Harry Osborn, Betty thinks that Peter is inviting Harry to the surprise party as well, thinking it’s funny how obvious Peter is being about it. After Betty has significantly sobered up, she apologizes for what happened with Haley, but Peter has already gotten over it. After seeing her into a cab, they once again remind each other about their plans for Friday. Betty makes a point of asking Peter that it is really important that she doesn’t flake out. On Friday night, Peter arrives with a cupcake, take-out Chinese food, and a movie to watch.[7] As the evening progresses and a surprise party doesn’t material, Betty becomes very upset and tells off Peter for spoiling their evening. Peter admits that he tried to get a surprise party together. He tells her that Aunt May is angry at her for her negative reports about her boss, Martin Li ad the FEAST Center. Joe Robertson, on the other hand, feels betrayed that Betty stayed at the DB after he quit, and Harry is upset that Betty has been reporting negatively on Bill Hollister, the candidate for mayor whose dater Harry has been dating.[8] This deeply upsets Betty who asks Peter if she’s a bad person. Peter doesn’t think so, and says neither does anyone else, and that they’ll eventually get over over time. The pair then spend the rest of the night inside celebrating Betty’s birthday together. The whole situation makes Betty realize how great it is having a friend like Peter Parker in her life.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Betty Brant Aunt May, Joe Robertson, Vin Gonzales, Harry Osborn, Menace, Jay Jameson

Continuity Notes

  1. Betty recounts how she has some issues with Spider-Man. Particularly, for a while, she blamed Spider-Man for the alleged death of her brother Bennett. Bennett was gunned down in Amazing Spider-Man #11. She eventually got over it. Little does she know is that her brother is actually still alive and will later resurface as the new Crime-Master. His survival is explained in Venom (vol. 2) #21.

  2. Betty is depicted writing down her story on a Personal Digital Assistant. PDA’s came into common use by reporters in the early 2000s. However, with advancements in technology particularly with mobile phones and tablets, the PDA has become obselete. As such, Betty’s use of one here should be considered a topical reference.

  3. Betty mentions how she first met Peter while he was still in high school. The pair first met in Amazing Spider-Man #4. What she doesn’t mention here that she and Peter dated from Amazing Spider-Man #7 to 18. One of the speed daters asks Peter when he last went to the circus. Peter ask if the Ringmaster’s Circus of Crime counts. Peter first fought the Ringmaster and his circus as Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man #16. When was the last time Peter had gone to the Circus? Back in Spider-Man Team-Up #5 in case you were wondering.

  4. When Peter jokes about giving May dating tips, Betty suggests she stay away from actor Hugh Jackman as she wants him for herself. This should be considered a topical reference.

  5. Joe Robertson worked at the Daily Bulge for years, after it was bought by Dexter Bennett in Amazing Spider-Man #547 and rebranded as the DB, Robertson had ethical issues with Bennett’s reporting and eventually quit the DB in Amazing Spider-Man #560. He started working at the Front Line in Amazing Spider-Man #568.

  6. Betty turns out to be right as the pair eventually get married in Amazing Spider-Man #600.

  7. The movie they watch is depicted as being on DVD that Peter rented from a video store. Since the advent of streaming video services, video rental stores have mostly become obscelete. While DVD’s are still used as I write this (April 2020) they are not as ubiquidious as they were in 2009 when this comic book was first published. This should all be considered topical.

  8. The DB has supported Hollister’s opponent, Randall Crowne since Amazing Spider-Man #549. Since Martin Li supported Bill Hollister, Betty was sent to investigate the FEAST Center from Amazing Spider-Man #568 to 573.

Spidey Meets the President!

Peter Parker has been sent to photograph the inaguration of the new President of the United States.[1] Suddenly, the cemeonies are interrupted when another presidential limo comes crashing onto the scene. To the shock of everyone, a man who looks exactly like the President emerges from the limo and accuses the other as being an impostor.

As this situation begins to unfold, Peter Parker decides that this situation calls for Spider-Man and slips away to change into his alter-ego. Spider-Man then buts in to offer his experience.[2] Spider-Man quickly quizes the two men claiming to be president what their nickname was back when they play varsity basketball. When one of the men claiming to be President can’t answer the question on top of confusing basketball with other sports, he outs himself as the imposter. With his plot foiled, the imposter drops his disguise revealing that he is actually the Chameleon.

Taking control of the situation, Spider-Man quickly knocks out the Chameleon and webs him up for the authorities. Spider-Man decides it’s time to go, not wanting to steal the spotlight from the president. However, the President stops Spider-Man long enough to thank him for his help and reveals that he is a plan. After, Spider-Man takes off, quipping that the Vice President is likely still mad at him for being mistaken for the Vulture one time.[3] With the inaguration back on track, Spider-Man gets a photo of the President elect being sworn in from the vantage point of the Washington Monument.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Chameleon

Continuity Notes

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  1. This story is stated as happening on January 20, 2009. It depicts Brack Obama as the President elect in this story and the vice-president is depicted as Joe Biden. These should all be considered topical references. Marvel typically wouldn’t do a story based on a presidential election, however this is an exception because Obama was the first black President as well as a huge fan of Spider-Man.

  2. Among the various things Spider-Man says he has experience with, he says he has experience with Toby Maguire. Maguire was the first actor to portray Spider-Man in a major motion picture in three Spider-Man films that were released by Sony Pictures. The reference to Maquire here should be considered topical. Sorry Toby.

  3. Don’t bother digging through back issues for the story where Spider-Man mistakes Joe Biden for the Vulture, as no such story has ever been published (yet) Who knows maybe Marvel will tell the tale if Biden get’s elected in the 2020 election.

Amazing Spider-Man #582

Amazing Spider-Man #582

Amazing Spider-Man Extra #2

Amazing Spider-Man Extra #2