64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man Extra #1

Amazing Spider-Man Extra #1

Death of a Wise Guy

20 20 03 25 %h 46 22 b5z55.png

Hammerhead is gunned down by an inmate at Ryker’s Island, which is not how he expected to die. As he muses about how he hoped to go out in a blaze of glory, Hammerhead’s body is lugged to the morgue where a medical examiner discovers that he is still alive and orders a crash cart. As doctors rush to revive him, Hammerhead’s mind drifts back…

His first memories are of his boyhood some forty years ago in Toirrano, Italy, the boy — Joseph — was playing in one of the sports cars left to be repaired in his father’s mechanic shop.[1] While they are alone, his father insists that the boy speaks in Russian, as they only speak Italian when dealing with customers. When he accidentally knocked a bottle of soda onto the seat, his father beat him with a hammer. His mind then flashes forward a few years later when he accidentally dropped a nativity scene made by his classmate, Angela, breaking it. Joseph tries to convince her that he is Italian born and that his father is a famous sculptor that works for the Vatican. However, another classmate, Rico, calls out Joseph for lying and mocks him for being beaten with his father. As a final insult, Rico grabs Joseph by the hair and forces him to show the scars left from when his father beat him with a hammer.

As the doctors struggle to work around the metal plates in Hammerhead’s skull, they are interrupted by one of Mister Negative’s Inner Demons who tells them that Hammerhead will be transferred into his custody immediately. As this is happening, Hammerhead’s trip down memory lane continues….

After his humiliation, Joseph then followed Rico and Angela as they went on a date to the movies.[2] Joseph sneaks up behind them and beats them to death with a hammer. Becoming interested in the movie, Joseph decides to sit down and watches the rest of the mobster film. After it’s over he is approached by a mobster who was in the theater collecting from the owner. He is impressed by Joseph’s brutality and lack of fear. When he asks who Joseph is, the youth tells the mobster that his name is Hammerhead.

Sometime after this, Hammerhead has shot up in the ranks of the Maggia, getting jobs from Silvio Manfredi himself, who has been tricked into believing that Hammerhead is a pure Italian and not the Russian immigrant that he’s been hiding his entire life. On his next job, Hammerhead is delighted to discover that the intended victim is his own father. Left alone with his father, Hammerhead takes the time to thank his father for his years of abuse because it made him strong. However, he renounces his family heritage, telling his father the made-up story that he has created for himself: That his father went to America when he was young to find his fortune and died in a war and that he was a pure Italian.[3] When Manfredi asks where Hammerhead learned Russian, he explains that he memorized some lines from a movie and has no idea what he was saying.

Sometime later, Hammerhead had relocated to Brooklyn where he attempted to call a deal with a rival gang claiming to be a made man under Silvio Manfredi’s mob. This turned out to be a lie and Hammerhead was beaten within an inch of his life and left to die under an old movie poster advertising a movie about mobster Al Capone. That’s when he was found by scientist Jonas Harrow who promised to make him whole again, thus Hammerhead was reborn.[4]

By this time, Hammerhead is being worked on by Doctor Tramma, a scientist under the employer of Mister Negative. As she works, Tramma is disgusted by the hack work that Jonas Harrow put into the original metal plates put in Hammerhead’s skull. Fearing that Hammerhead might be a vegetable, but Mister Negative insists that they continue working offering to torture Hammerhead if the pain will help him remain lucid. Even all through this, Hammerhead still reflects upon his life. This time his mind reflects on the later part of his criminal career as a mob enforcer, then his later clashes with Doctor Octopus, his conflicts with the Kingpin,[6] his later bid to take over organized crime in the city, [7] and most importantly his many battles with Spider-Man.[8]

By this time, Mister Negative manages to get through to Hammerhead and explains to him that the mobster has wasted his potential by pretending to be something he is not, an Italian mobster. However, Negative wants to offer him the opportunity to reach his full potential and reveals a metal skeleton they plan to implant into Hammerhead’s body. When Hammerhead still talks in mobster slang, Mister Negative points out that his idol — Al Capone — died of syphilis after years of suffering from dementia.

Recurring Characters

Hammerhead, Mister Negative, Doctor Tramma, Silvermane (flashback)

Continuity Notes

  1. Young Hammerhead is pretending to be Frank Bullitt, the character played by Steve McQueen in the 1968 film of the same name. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 as Hammerhead is lives in a Modern Age with a normal life span as such his life prior to the start of the Modern Age slides forward as well.

  2. Rico and Angela are watching The Godfather Part II, which was released in 1974. This should be considered a topical reference. It stands to represent the passage of six years between the day Joseph’s father beat him with a hammer and the scene with Rico and Angela.

  3. Hammerhead specifically states that his “father” died in the Vietnam War. This is yet another topical reference. One could assume that, per History of the Marvel Universe #1, Hammerhead’s story would instead say his “father” died during the Sin Cong Conflict.

  4. Hammerhead being saved by Jonas Harrow was originally recounted in Amazing Spider-Man #114. When recounting the attempt on his life at the time, Hammerhead claimed to have amnesia and doesn’t remember anything prior to Harrow putting the metal plate in his skull. So either Hammerhead’s memories returned or perhaps since his past is so fraught with the humiliation he has decided to ignore it.

  5. Early on in his career as a supervillain, Hammerhead clashed with Doctor Octopus in Amazing Spider-Man #113-115, 130-131, and 157-159.

  6. Hammerhead first clashed with the Kingpin during the gang war that took place in Amazing Spider-Man #284-288.

  7. Hammerhead’s bid to take over the New York underworld occurred following the fall of the Kingpin in Daredevil #300, this was chronicled in Spider-Man #70-74.

  8. Lastly, all the other times that Hammerhead fought Spider-Man include: Web of Spider-Man 51, 53, Spectacular Spider-Man #153-154, Web of Spider-Man #55, Spectacular Spider-Man #157, 161-163, 165, 166, Web of Spider-Man #67-68, Spectacular Spider-Man #204, Spider-Man #80, Spider-Man: Lifeline #1-3, and Peter Parker: Spider-Man #50.

Birthday Boy

Harry Osborn tries to call his friend Peter Parker to invite him to his birthday party. However, unknown to Harry, Peter — as Spider-Man — is in the middle of a battle with the Trapster and ignores the call. Annoyed that Peter didn’t answer, his girlfriend Lily Hollister wonders why Harry is so surprised since Peter is always either late or a no show and always has an excuse lined up.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man makes short work of the Trapster and incapacitates the villain with his own paste. Retreating to the rooftops, Spider-Man begins changing out of his costume when he discovers that some of the Trapster’s paint got on his mask and it’s not glued to his hair. Since he is already running late for Harry’s party, he ties the mask up like a bandanna and arrives at the party. Both Harry and Lily are confused to see what Peter is wearing on his head. Before Peter can give an explanation, an associate of Harry’s named Jay Hunter introduces himself to Peter in order to make a joke about Harry attending a community college.[1] Harry tells Peter that he only invited Jay to the party because his father might invest in his Coffee Bean franchise. When Harry tries to apologize to Peter, he suddenly remembers how something like this always happens with Peter and decides he doesn’t have time to hear Peter’s excuses for being late and why he’s wearing a ridiculous headband and storms off.

That’s when Peter overhears Jay and some of the other guests making fun of Harry’s past lapses of sanity in the Osborn family.[1] When Peter tells them to stop making fun of Harry it just gives them more ammunition. Furious, Peter dumps a punch bowl over Jay’s head and he angrily storms out of the party. Harry is furious with Peter for acting out at his party but immediately feels guilty when Peter tells him that he was just standing up for Harry. Harry tells Peter that he is actually the greatest friend he has and suggests they both ditch the party and get a slice of pizza down the street.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Trapster, Harry Osborn, Lily Hollister

Continuity Notes

  1. Harry introduces Peter to Jay as one of his old college buddies. Peter and Harry met each other while they were attending Empire State University in Amazing Spider-Man #31.

  2. Jay and some of the other party guests makes fun of the Osborn family’s history of mental illness the facts:

    • Harry’s father, Norman Osborn, was the original Green Goblin dating back to Amazing Spider-Man #14. Although Osborn’s connection to the Green Goblin wasn’t made public until Spider-Man: Legacy of Evil #1. Even then, Osborn discredited this expose in Spectacular Spider-Man #250. Ultimately, Osborn couldn’t keep this a secret for much longer after he outed himself in Spider-Man #98. At the time of this story, Osborn has been made leader of the Thunderbolts in Thunderbolts #110.

    • Harry has had his own troubles with his own mental health. He lost his sanity after the apparent death of his father in Amazing Spider-Man #122 (he didn’t actually die, long story, see Spider-Man: The Osborn Journal #1) and later became a second Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man #136-137. Harry had another break down in Spectacular Spider-Man #179 which saw his return as the Green Goblin until Spectacular Spider-Man #200. As per Amazing Spider-Man #581-582, Harry was spirited off to Europe for treatment after that.

The Sparticus Gambit

Several Weeks From Now[1]

The case of the People vs. John Doe, aka Spider-Man, is now before the courts with Matt Murdock defending Spider-Man and fellow lawyer Chris Dingess representing the people.[2] Spider-Man then pleads not guilty to the charges.[3] When they are debating about the bail amount, Dingess tries to use this as an opportunity to force Spider-Man to reveal his identity and remand him to a cell. However, Murdock’s firm can post the bail and points out that locking up Spider-Man will be putting him in the same prison as the villains he brings to justice and would be a death sentence. Dingess uses this as an opportunity to bring up the allegations that Murdock is secretly Daredevil, a claim that Murdock flatly denies reminding the court that he couldn’t be Daredevil as he is totally blind.[4]

That’s when yet another lawyer, Matthew Dowd, speaks up saying he represents Ryan Maxwell, who has filed a civil suit against Spider-Man with little luck getting him to appear because they don’t know Spider-Man’s secret identity.[5] As such he files a court order to force Spider-Man to unmask. Later, in private council, Spider-Man asks Murdock if they can do that. Matt says that the Super-Human Registration Act prevents anyone in law enforcement from unmasking a superhero except for representatives of the federal government.[6] However, Murdock says the civil suit could be enough to allow the judge to unmask him. However, Matt has been thinking about an issue like this for quite some time and assures Spider-Man that he knows what to do.[7]

The next day, before the court, Matt Murdock tries to stall efforts to unmask Spider-Man by citing his on-going lawsuit against the federal government for the wrongful death of Steve Rogers as a result of the Super-Human Registration Act.[8] However, this doesn’t satisfy Dowd who points out that in a hit-and-run case, the law is able to look up the license plate number to see who owns the car. Murdock agrees with this analogy and is granted a 24-hour recess to come up with a defense against it.

The next day, before entering the courts, Murdock hands Spider-Man a law book telling him that he’ll need it if things don’t go well in court. Soon, Murdock tries out his plan and has a number of people in Spider-Man costumes performing similar feats of acrobatics in the courtroom. When the judge demands an explanation, Matt refers back the hit-and-run analogy made the day before. He says that the burden of proof on Dowd’s case is proving who it was that was wearing the Spider-Man costume at the time of his client’s encounter with Spider-Man. This convinces the judge to deny the people’s demand for Spider-Man to unmask but refuses to grant the wall-crawler bail. Back in the private council, Spider-Man asks Murdock how he pulled off getting all of the different Spider-Men to show up in the courtroom. Murdock explains that he took a page from the time Spider-Man recently appeared in court as Daredevil, and found other heroes with comparable powers to pose as Spider-Man.[9] He then suggests that the Black Cat broke into police evidence and lifted one of his web-shooters to help sell the case. As he leaves the room, Murdock tells Spider-Man to check the law book he gave him. Looking inside, Spider-Man is surprised to find the book has been hollowed out and one of his web-shooters has been secreted away inside.

The lingering questions to this story are revealed in Amazing Spider-Man #584-588.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Matt Murdock, Ronin, Patriot, Arana, Black Cat, Iron Fist, Spider-Woman, Nightcrawler

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place during the events of Amazing Spider-Man #587.

  2. The case number is cited as AF-15-1962. Which is a nod to Amazing Fantasy #15, published in 1962, which featured the first appearance of Spider-Man.

  3. Spider-Man’s arm is in a sling here as this story happens after Amazing Spider-Man #584 when Spider-Man injured his arm during a battle with Menace.

  4. This, of course, is a lie as Murdock has been Daredevil since the beginning way back in Daredevil #1. At the time of this story, Murodkc’s double identity was leaked to the press in Daredevil (vol. 2) #93 and he has been trying to deny these claims from the start.

  5. Ryan Maxwell was almost killed by Menace in Amazing Spider-Man #549. Even though he was saved by Spider-Man he has been trying to sue the wall-crawler since Amazing Spider-Man #550.

  6. The Super-Human Registration Act forces superheroes to register with the government, and those who refuse are outlaws. This law came into force during Civil War #1-7.

  7. Spider-Man lists off a number of his accomplishments. They are:

    • He’s defeated Doctor Octopus multiple times since he first clashed with the villain in Amazing Spider-Man #3.

    • The wall-crawler has also defeated Doctor Doom on a few occasions, the first time being Amazing Spider-Man #5.

    • Another defeat in Spider-Man’s cap is Venom, whom the wall-crawler first faced in Amazing Spider-Man #300.

    • Lastly, Spider-Man states he stopped a Sentinel once. He’s actually done it a few times. There was the powerful Tri-Sentiel in Amazing Spider-Man #329, however, he did have the power of Captain Universe at the time. He more likely is referring to Spider-Man #72 where he took down multiple Sentinels even though his powers were behaving erratically.

  8. Captain America was killed after surrendering to the authorities at the end of the Civil War in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. However, he’ll soon return to live in Captain America: Reborn #1-5.

  9. Spider-Man posed as Daredevil in court in Daredevil (vol. 2) #20-25.

Amazing Spider-Man #567

Amazing Spider-Man #567

Amazing Spider-Man #568

Amazing Spider-Man #568