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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man Extra #3

Amazing Spider-Man Extra #3

Character Assassination: Coda

Spider-Man is having his wounds patched up by the Night Nurse who criticizes whoever worked on him previously. Spider-Man says it was a prison job. Night Nurse wasn’t aware that Spider-Man was recently in prison because she doesn’t get out much.[1] Noticing that Spider-Man is in a sulky mood, the wall-crawler admits that today has been a bad day, not for him, but the people around him. His mind drifts back…

Earlier that day, Peter Parker was helping Harry Osborn move into a massive condo apartment on the Upper West Side that Harry is preparing for their friend Flash Thompson. Peter is blown away by the extravagance of it all. When Peter asks if Harry could do the same for him, Harry reminds Parker that he hadn’t done what Flash has done. Agreeing with Harry, Peter changes the subject and asks how Harry is doing. Harry admits that he is angry, but not just at Lily Hollister — his fiancee — who was revealed as the Menace, but he is also mad at Spider-Man. He points out that everything that happened to Lily, Carlie Cooper, and Vin Gonzales was because of Spider-Man. Harry also can’t understand why Peter still defends Spider-Man. When Peter apologizes for what happened, Harry says that Peter has nothing to apologize for as he had nothing to do with it.[2]

Hearing some of these details as she works, Night Nurse tells Spider-Man that his friends can’t blame him for all of the choices he has to make. That’s when the villain he has decided to call Carapice comes crashing in through the door. Spider-Man recognized the body armor-wearing foe from their last encounter.[3] As he prepares for a fight, the wall-crawler’s mind drifts back to another moment earlier that day.

Peter went to visit Vin Gonzales at the New York County District Attourney’s Office. Vin thanks Peter for not calling him an idiot for getting himself involved in the spider-tracer conspiracy. Peter says that he hasn’t passed judgment on Vin because there must have been a reason for why he did what he did. Vin tells Peter that he first got involved after while he was recovering in the hospital, following his encounter with Anna Kravinoff.[4] He was approached by a number of his fellow officers who asked if Vin wanted in on getting back on Spider-Man. Angry at the wall-crawler at the time, Vin took them up on the offer. That’s when Vin is called in to a meeting with the district attorney and his sister, Michelle, who is acting as Vin’s lawyer. There Vin is told that he will be given a short sentence of six months provided that he names everyone that was named in the spider-tracer killer conspiracy. Also, Vin has to turn in his badge, the attorney’s office representative telling them that Vin won’t want to be a cop after breaking the blue wall of silence and testifying on his fellow officers. After a moment’s consideration, Vin decides to agree to the terms and asks where he has to sign…

… As Spider-Man attacks Carapace, he points out that the villain has made the stupid move is attacking a private office that treats superheroes.[5] What Harry said earlier has really sunk in and he is blaming himself for everything that has happened recently and wants to take it out on somebody. While listing to himself all of the different things he blames himself for he suddenly thinks about Flash Thompson and tries to push the thought out of his head. Still, his mind drifts back once again…

Peter had gone to JFK International Airport to meet with Flash Thompson as he arrives home after a tour of duty. He is shocked to discover that Flash lost his legs in combat and is now confined to a wheelchair.[6] Peter apologizes for what happened, but Flash says it wasn’t his fault. Taking a taxi back into the city, Flash tells Peter about how he lost his legs, sacrificing them to save one of his fellow soldiers. Peter is impressed, and Flash points out that it is what Spider-Man would have done, saying that the wall-crawler has inspired him to do the right thing as far back as high school. He says that he was just doing his job, the same thing that Spider-Man would say.

… With Flash’s words echoing in his head, Spider-Man is strangling Carapace, letting himself to give in to the guilt and anger he feels over what has happened. But Spider-Man decides to stop himself short of seriously hurting this super-villains because he would be too consumed with guilt over this meaningless victory, as he would have done it only to make himself feel better. That’s when Spider-Man lets go of Carapace’s throat and storms out of Night Nurse’s office.[7]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Carapace, Night Nurse, Harry Osborn, Flash Thompson, Vin Gonzales, Michele Gonzales

Continuity Notes

  1. Spider-Man was arrested in Amazing Spider-Man #585, but he broke out in issue #587.

  2. Harry makes a lot of passing mentions about what happened recently:

    • Lily Hollister was revealed as being the Menace, a new supervillain who had been attacking the various candidates for mayor since Amazing Spider-Man #549. Lily’s revelation was made in Amazing Spider-Man #585-586.

    • Carlie Cooper and Vin Gonzales found themselves caught up in the spider-tracer killings, a series of bodies found in New York with spider-tracers planted on them. The first body was discovered in Amazing Spider-Man #547. Carlie Cooper learned that Vin and other officers in the NYPD were planting the tracers on dead bodies in Amazing Spider-Man #584. From that issue through issue #588, Carlie and Vin were tossed under the bus by the other conspirators, making Carlie a fugitive and Vin a prisoner until the truth was learned.

  3. Spider-Man fought Carapace back in Amazing Spider-Man #583.

  4. The daughter of Kraven the Hunter mistakenly believed that Vin was secretly Spider-Man and tortured him until he was rescued by the real Spider-Man who was posing as Daredevil to perform the rescue. After, Spider-Man says he intentionally planted one of his costumes in Vin’s room as a means of tripping up anyone who may have stumbled upon his secret identity. This all happened in Amazing Spider-Man #565-567.

  5. Spider-Man quips that a few of the Jonas Brothers also get treated by Night Nurse. This joke should be considered a topical reference as it was made at the height of the Jonas Brother’s popularity.

  6. Flash lost his legs saving a teammate while on a military operation in the Middle East in Amazing Spider-Man #574. Any mention in this issue that Flash was fighting in the Iraq War should be considered topical.

  7. Is there a thinly veiled reference to the death of Uncle Ben from Amazing Fantasy #15 here? You betcha!

UncleBen.gif

Nice Things

Thinking about his father, Harry Osborn can admit that Norman Osborn wasn’t always a terrible father, there were times when he was actually a great father. He thinks back to a moment of a decade ago when his father taught Harry how to ride a bike.[1] After he went out riding on his own, Harry was stopped by some neighborhood kids who are impressed with his brand new bike. Harry allowed one of them to give his new bike a ride even though he knew the boy was going to steal it. When it actually happened, Harry felt nothing but guilt and returned to he ran directly to his room in tears.

Noticing his son was upset about something and that his new bike is missing, Norman asked his son what was wrong. After Harry told his father what happened they went out to look for the boys that took his bike. When Harry pointed them out, Norman confronted the boy who stole the bike with a baseball bat. The boy abandoned the bike and fled in fear. To Harry’s horror, he watched as his father smashed the bicycle to pieces to teach his son a lesson of what happens when he doesn’t take care of his things.

Relating to this story at a meeting with Narcotics Anonymous, Harry tells the others that he doesn’t blame his past for his current condition, but he often looks back at the past and uses it as a tool for recovery.[2] Harry then tells them all how he lost someone recently and how he thinks about how he let fear and shame ruin his past before, he is using that memory as a reminder not to go for a drink or to start doing drugs again. With that, the meeting concludes with a prayer circle.

Later, as Harry is leaving the church he is approached by Lily Hollister in her Meance form. She has come to tell Harry that she has moved on. Knowing that Lily has gone to her father, Harry warns her that Norman Osborn takes special care of his “nice things” until he doesn’t and hopes she learns this before it is too late. When he turns to look at her, Menace has already departed.

Recurring Characters

Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn (flashback), Menace

Continuity Notes

  1. This story states it takes place over a decade ago. Pretty vague. If you followed my calculation of Harry’s age back in Amazing Spider-Man #581, I theorized that Harry is about 31 years old around the time of this story. The average kid learns to ride a bike without training wheels around 5. So saying this story happened over a decade ago is an understatement. It was probably closer to 25 years.

  2. Harry has fought with drug addiction in the past, suffering a drug overdose in Amazing Spider-Man #96-99, having a relapse in issues #119-120. He also considers his exposure to the Goblin Formula in Spectacular Spider-Man #188 as another relapse. Harry went into rehab from Amazing Spider-Man #200 until Amazing Spider-Man #545.

Loose Ends

At the Columbia University Medical Center, Peter Parker pays a visit to Vin Gonzales as he is recovering from his ordeals after being tortured by Ana Kravinoff.[1] Vin can’t understand why Peter continues to defend Spider-Man after the wall-crawler admitted that it was his fault that Vin was mistaken for the wall-crawler. However, Vin admits that he thought he hated Spider-Man but didn’t realize real hate until he encountered the young woman who kidnapped him thinking he was Spider-Man and hopped him up on Mutant Growth Hormone. When Peter asks, Vin tells him that he doesn’t know what the woman had against Spider-Man, only that she said she was targeting Spider-Man for weeks from her base in of operations in the sewers. As Peter leaves, Vin tells Parker to be careful since that maniac knows where they live.

Meanwhile, Ana Kravinoff looks out the window of her family condo, hating living so high up and wishing she could be back out on the hunt as she was meant to. She has also grown tired of the constant whining of her prisoner, the Vermin. However, he keeps on repeating something about the devil being the spider in disguise. She suddenly realizes that the man she thought was Daredevil was actually Spider-Man in disguise. She then remembers she left evidence in her hideout and fears what might happen if the real Spider-Man goes back to investigate.

Ana’s fears are warranted as Spider-Man has returned to the sewers where he saved Vin from the girl and begins looking around.[2] Eventually, he finds her lair and is surprised to see and finds an old newspaper article about his first battle against the Sinister Six pinned on the wall.[3] He then finds recent photos of his battle with Daredevil against Fracture and the attacks on Peter Parker, confirming Vin’s earlier statement. When Spider-Man wonders what happened to all her equipment his spider-sense goes off as a series of bombs are turned on. When Spider-Man turns to leave, he comes face to face with the young woman and asks if she is Karven the Hunter’s daughter. Instead of answering, the youth activates the bombs prompting Spider-Man to make a hasty retreat to save his own life. Thinking that Ana killed herself to try and kill him, Spider-Man wonders what made her do it.

As Spider-Man leaves, fire crews arrive on the scene, none of them aware that Ana is still alive and watching from the shadows of a nearby ally. Thinking Spider-Man is short-sighted, he will soon forget this allowing her mother to continue with her plans with the wall-crawler blissfully unaware of the torment they plan to bring down on him.[4]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Kraven the Hunter, Vermin, Vin Gonzales

Continuity Notes

  1. This story takes place shortly after Amazing Spider-Man #567.

  2. Spider-Man references the TV show Dirty Jobs and Wikipedia. These are two real-world things and should be considered topical references.

  3. Spider-Man first fought the Sinister Six back in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1. Spider-Man says that that happened over ten years ago.

  4. The Kravinoffs launch a prolonged series of battles to wear down and destroy Spider-Man. It starts with the Gauntlet story arc which runs from the Gauntlet story arc in Amazing Spider-Man #612-633 and the Grim Hunt which runs from Amazing Spider-Man #634-637.

Amazing Spider-Man #588

Amazing Spider-Man #588

Amazing Spider-Man #589

Amazing Spider-Man #589