64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #55

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #55

Unintended Consequences

20 20 03 25 %h 47 48 ov1m6.png

Peter Parker is running late for his job at Midtown High and along the way, he runs into a group of kids. Most of them tell Peter they aren’t in school anymore and leave. The only child left is a young girl named Melissa Coolridge who is running late because she has a leg in a cast and needs crutches to walk. Melissa is not happy that Peter is getting on her case and evades his questions if she was really running late or thinking of ditching classes.[1] He soon learns that Melissa’s homeroom teacher is Mister Myers, a total hardass that has been teaching since Peter was in high school.[2] Their cooperation gets them both out of trouble for being late. Later, Peter goes to the office and has the secretary pull the records on Melissa Coolridge. He learns that she failed her literature exam and was put in remedial reading in order to make up for it. The girl actually wanted to take honors biology. Worse, she had to take a physical education course to keep her grade point average up but now is sidelined because of her broken leg. At that same moment, Melissa is sitting on the bleachers in the gym telling her friend about how Mister Parker covered for her being late but thinks it was only because he was trying to save his own butt. When class is over, Mr. Jacoby asks Melissa to stay behind to talk. He tells her Mr. Parker offered her to take on honors bio in exchange for her regular gym class, Hearing this is great news and she accepts it on the spot.

The next day, Melissa shows up for honors biology first thing and thanks Peter for getting her a spot in his class. Peter’s assessment of the girl proves correct as she is smart and intuitive. After school, Peter sees Melissa struggling with her school books and offers to help her carry them home. When she says that’s weird, Peter says it’s weird that someone could see her in this situation and no offer to help. When they arrive outside Melissa’s house, they catch some burglars trying to climb out the apartment window. Unable to use his spider-powers without blowing his secret identity, Peter threatens to call the police. That’s when Melissa sees that they have stolen her mother’s gold locket and shoves past Peter to try and get it back. Peter then uses the push to swing the bags he’s carrying to knock out the thugs and make it look like a total accident. A half-hour later after the police have taken the thieves away, Peter meets with Melissa’s mother and learns that she is a single mother who has to work late to support her family. On top of this, Melissa’s brother Josh was arrested for stealing a car. Spider-Man was involved in his capture, which has led Melissa to blame the wall-crawler for framing her brother for a crime he didn’t commit. When he sees a picture of Josh, Peter is shocked and excuses himself because he is late for dinner and that his wife is waiting for him.[3] When Peter abruptly leaves, Melissa suspects that Peter knows something about her brother.

Later, Peter meets up with Mary Jane, who is surprised that Peter’s on time for one. When she notices that Peter is distracted he tells her all about his day and she suggests that since he created this problem, he’s going to have to fix it somehow. Going out on patrol as Spider-Man, Peter tracks down some of the thieves who escaped earlier that day and learns that they are all working for Hugh Muller, a landlord who has been targeting his own tenants. After dealing with the hired thugs, Spider-Man webs up Muller to the ceiling. He warns Muller that he’ll be back every time he hears that Hugh has been harassing his tenants. Although this was such a simple bust, Peter still can’t get the thoughts of Josh going to jail out of his mind. That’s when he is visited by Ezekiel Sims who asks Peter what’s bothering. Spider-Man explains his situation and how it’s got him thinking about the Doctrine of Unintended Consequences and how it applies to his role as a superhero. He admits that he is often thinking about things in the moment, and not how his actions could negatively impact the families of the criminals he busts. Ezekiel finds this interesting and says he will get back to him once he has an answer and disappears just as abruptly as he appeared.

As Spider-Man continues his patrol, he thinks about how Melissa has a bright future ahead of her if everything works out for her and promises not to rest until she gets those opportunities, even if he doesn’t know exactly how he’s going to accomplish that.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Ezekiel Sims, Melissa Coolridge, Josh Coolridge, Kyle Jacoby

Continuity Notes

  1. Melissa calls Peter old. Per Civil War #2, Peter has stated that he was 15 years old when he first became Spider-Man. Per the Sliding Timescale, Peter has been Spider-Man for about 11 years, which would make Peter roughly 26 years old at the time of this story.

  2. Peter attended Midtown High from Amazing Fantasy #15 to Amazing Spider-Man #28.

  3. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife in this story. However, not long after this story, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, Peter would be referring to Mary Jane as his fiancee instead of his wife.

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #54

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #54

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #56

Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #56