64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #628

Amazing Spider-Man #628

Vengeance is Mine!

At the Inwood Armory, Spider-Man had come to find out who was able to beat the Juggernaut within an inch of his life. As he is about to get the answer from Cain Marko, the new Captain Universe — who has a grudge against the Juggernaut — comes crashing in to finish him off. As Spider-Man evades Captain Universe’s attacks, the soldiers guarding the Juggernaut become aware of the fact that someone has screwed with the security feed. That’s when Captain Universe becomes aware that they are being watched and blasts the camera. He then explains that the Juggernaut ruined his life and wonders why Spider-Man is defending his life, particularly since Marko has tried to kill the wall-crawler on more than one occasion.[1] As Captain Universe rips the Juggernaut’s restraints off the ground, Spider-Man tells him that killing the Juggernaut won’t make the Uni-Power happy. It shocks Captain Universe that Spider-Man knows about the source of his powers, but Spider-Man quickly explains that he was once a host for the Uni-Power himself.[2] When he asks Captain Universe if getting revenge on the Juggernaut was the real reason he was chosen for this power, he insists that he is and blasts Spider-Man out of the armory along with the Juggernaut.

The force of the blast sends both men sailing across the city and across the river to the Jersey Palisades. Although this smashes the Juggernaut’s restraints, when Captain Universe catches up he is surprised to see that his enemy is still alive. Before he can land a killing blow, Spider-Man lands on his back and shoots webbing in Captain Universe’s eyes. Panicking, Universe flies blindly back into the city where he burns off the webbing with a blast of cosmic force. Luckily, Spider-Man was able to leap off of Captain Universe’s back and seek cover under a new helicopter. Realizing he’s out of his depth, Spider-Man tries to call for the Avengers or the Fantastic Four for help but discovers that he forgot to charge his cell phone. When Captain Universe finds him, Spider-Man leaps off the chopper and fires a web-line so he can arc his fall into a web-sling that flings him a great distance from his pursuer. Landing on the roof of a car speeding car, Spider-Man wonders how he can reason with someone with the power to shatter the Juggernaut’s armor.

At that moment, the authorities have found the Juggernaut, but as officers are calling it in Cain Marko finally regains consciousness and knocks out the officers who have arrived on the scene. Recalling everything that has happened, the Juggernaut uses his magical powers to turn one of his shackles into a new helmet to wear and begins walking across the Hudson River to join the battle still in progress.

Back in the city, Spider-Man has been frantically leaping across cars along the highway in order to get back to downtown Manhattan where he has the advantage of web-slinging among the tall buildings. Unfortunately, Captain Universe manages to catch up and sends Spider-Man crashing into a health club on Pier 60. There, Spider-Man manages to get away by tossing a towel in Captain Universe’s face to cover his escape. Spider-Man lures Captain Universe to a spot where nobody can get hurt and tries to talk sense to Captain Universe. However, the ground suddenly starts shaking prompting Captain Universe to wrap Spider-Man up in a steel girder so he can investigate. Becoming intangible, Captain Universe dives into the ground where the Uni-Power finally begins speaking to him now that he is ready to listen. It explains that he was chosen to save Manhattan from annihilation caused by stress fractures within the tectonic planes deep beneath the city. Captain Universe then begins using his power to repair these fractures until he senses something that distracts him from his task.

On the surface, Spider-Man is struggling to break free from the steel girder when the Juggernaut arrives and frees him. As Spider-Man catches him up on what’s been going on his spider-sense suddenly goes off announcing the return of Captain Universe. However, this time the Juggernaut is ready for Captain Universe. However, when they try to start a fight, Spider-Man tries with all his might to break things up before they start destroying the city. Spider-Man tries to convince the Juggernaut that they need Captain Universe to save the city. However, Captain Universe has had enough and engulfs both Spider-Man and the Juggernaut in cosmic energy, vowing to make them both suffer for the things that he has lost.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Juggernaut, Captain Universe (Nguyen)

Recurring Characters

  1. Spider-Man has fought the Juggernaut on a number of occasions in Amazing Spider-Man #229-230, Marvel Team-Up #150, and Spider-Man #84.

  2. Spider-Man was given the Uni-Power during the Acts of Vengeance story arc so that he had the power necessary to stop the Tri-Sentinel. Spider-Man’s cosmic adventures were documented in Amazing Spider-Man #327-329, Spectacular Spider-Man #158-160, and Web of Spider-Man #59-61.

Brother, Can You Spare a Crime?

Somewhere in New York City, a gang of bullies make the mistake of trying to hassle Carl Creel, aka the Absorbing Man. When they try to snatch the bowling ball bag that he is carrying his mystical ball and chain, he decides to teach them a lesson by absorbing the properties of the brick wall next to him and go on a rampage.

Meanwhile, Peter Parker wakes up to his alarm clock and webs it up when a news report continues its coverage over his recent firing from his job at city hall.[1] Getting out of bed, Peter begins cooking himself some ramen when he remembers that he has a job interview in a half an hour. Spraying down his Spider-Man costume with air freshener and grabs his suit. He checks and discovers that he only has six web-cartridges left adding to the importance of needing to land this job.

As Spider-Man web-slings across the city he gets a phone call from Frank Wells, the man who is conducting his job interview. He tells Peter that he’ll have to reschedule their appointment because he has been caught in traffic Peter then convinces him to conduct the interview over the phone since he made the time for the interview. Wells resigns to do the interview over the phone and is unimpressed when Peter makes a joke about selling band candy in high school when he is asked about what sort of sales experience he has. That’s when Spider-Man swings into the middle of the Absorbing Man’s rampage. Peter insists that he is taking this seriously and apologizes for a “bad connection” as he evades the Absorbing Man’s attacks. As the interview continues, Peter talks about how he always overcomes obstacles, a resourceful problem solver who thinks on his feet, that he deals with customers head-on, and that his worst quality is that he cares too much. As he says all of this, Spider-Man is demonstrating these qualities as he mitigates the damage caused by the Absorbing Man and protecting the bystanders on the street. That’s when Frank Wells sees Spider-Man catch an armored car tossed by Creel, and Peter realizes that Frank is watching this battle transpire.

Realizing that continuing his job interview while in the middle of a battle would compromise his identity, Peter hangs up the call so he can focus his whole attention on the Absorbing Man. Spider-Man quickly fires webbing at the Absorbing Man causing him to take on the quality of the webbing, greatly diminishing his physical strength. That’s when Iron Man arrives to contain the Absorbing Man in a repulsor bubble and carries him away.[2] Spider-Man wonders where Iron Man was earlier and when he asks for car fair, Iron Man tells him that he doesn’t have his wallet. Adding insult to injury, Peter’s business suit was ruined in the battle. Peter can’t believe his bad luck and realizes that he is going to have to tell Betty Brant that he burned the bridge she made to land him this job interview. Peter then wonders when his luck is going to change because he can’t juggle being unemployed and being Spider-Man as sooner-or-later something is going to give.[3]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Iron Man, Absorbing Man

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter was publicly fired from his job at the mayor’s office after he doctored a photo to make it look like J. Jonah Jameson was fighting the Vulture in an effort to prove Jameson had no connection to the new villain. That happened in Amazing Spider-Man #623-624.

  2. Iron Man is depicted wearing his Model 4 armor which he first invented in Iron Man #85. The reason why Stark is wearing this old armor is that this story takes place during the events of Dark Reign which saw Tony Stark a fugitive running from the law. See Invincible Iron Man (vol. 2) #8-19.

  3. The final panel features an image of Spider-Man holding his arms out metaphorically separating Peter Parker from a pile of money. This is paying homage to the end of Amazing Spider-Man #30 which featured a scene where Peter’s life as Spider-Man was metaphorically pushing him and Betty Brant apart.

Amazing Spider-Man #627

Amazing Spider-Man #627

Amazing Spider-Man #629

Amazing Spider-Man #629