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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #643

Amazing Spider-Man #643

Origin of the Species Part Two

After a very pregnant Lily Hollister came crashing into the Coffee Bean and gone into labor, Doctor Octopus followed after her, restraining Spider-Man and his friends Harry Osborn, Carlie Cooper, and Mary Jane Watson. He then helped Lily give birth because he seeks to claim her child, who is believed to be the offspring of Norman Osborn, the original Green Goblin.[1] As Spider-Man tries to break free he deduces that Octavius wants the child because it is a biological gold mine. Fearing for the safety of his friends and the baby, Spider-Man strains against the mechanical arm pinning him to the wall with enough force he breaks through the wall behind him and escapes through the washroom. Seeing that Spider-Man has escaped, Doctor Octopus releases Harry and the others and, while still holding the baby, goes looking for the wall-crawler. However, he is so distracted with revenge he doesn’t see Spider-Man double back and snatch the baby from him. Spider-Man then sprays webbing into Doctor Octopus’ sunglasses, covering his escape while Octavius pulls the webbing from his face. Otto then contacts his minions over his radio and tells them to find Spider-Man and recover the Osborn baby.

As Spider-Man rushes baby Osborn to a hospital he is spotted by a news helicopter and the footage becomes headline news. During the news broadcast, mayor J. Jonah Jameson is brought on for comment. Jonah, true to form, accuses Spider-Man of kidnapping a harmless baby, probably for some nefarious scheme. He vows to listeners he will use every city resource to save the baby from Spider-Man. Meanwhile, Spider-Man worries about what to do with the baby, since he has had very little experience with them. Luckily, they are close to St. Vincent’s hospital.

Back at the Coffee Bean, Lily Hollister becomes more and more distraught the longer her baby is kept away from her. When Mary Jane tries to calm her by saying Spider-Man is taking the baby to safety. This makes Lily frantic because Norman Osborn kept her in captivity and hired people to keep her contained. She is certain that they are out looking for her, and despite Harry’s insistence that his father is in prison and can’t hurt anyone, Lily begins fearing for her life.[2] As Harry and Mary Jane help Lily up to get her to an ambulance, Carlie Cooper goes back to look for Peter Parker who went missing in the chaos. Mary Jane assures Carlie that Peter is safe. Carlie refuses to help having dismisses Lily as a murderer even though they were once like sisters.[3] As she digs through the rubble, Carlie hears Peter’s cell phone ring and, thinking he’s trapped, starts frantically digging to free him.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man is almost at St. Vincent’s when Doctor Octopus catches up to him. He is also confronted by Electro, one of the many villains that Octavius has hired to capture the baby. Electro uses his electrical powers to cause a great deal of property damage, warning Spider-Man if he sets one foot in the hospital he will turn it into a war zone. Knowing that Electro isn’t bluffing, Spider-Man decides the best way to try and evade his pursuers is to get to cover and change back to Peter Parker. Unfortunately, when he rounds a corner he finds a number of NYPD police helicopters coming at him. They order him to surrender the baby, telling him they won’t give him a second warning. As Spider-Man scrambles over what to do next, the people of New York City watch the live footage of his predicament. Having bought into Jameson’s theory, public opinion of the wall-crawler has taken a serious hit. In the NYPD’s war room, J. Jonah Jameson continues shouting orders at police to rescue that baby. That’s when agents from Homeland Security arrive to take control of the situation, telling Jonah that they believe the baby is the son of Norman Osborn.

At that moment, the Sandman arrives on the scene and trashes the police helicopters. The Sandman is particularly eager to get the child since Spider-Man caused him to lose custody of his own daughter recently.[4] Spider-Man learns that the Sandman thinks that by capturing the Osborn baby he could use it as leverage to get his daughter back. As Spider-Man evades the Sandman’s blows, he is blasted by Electro from behind. Caught between a rock and a hard place, Spider-Man quickly deduces a way to get away. Waiting until his foes are on either side of him, Spider-Man leaps out of the way so that the Sandman and Electro end up hitting each other. Electro’s electricity fuses Sandman into glass, while the Sandman’s sand grounds Electro. Unfortunately, this is not a flawless manoeuvre as Spider-Man discovers that he has just run out of web-fluid. Falling to the ground, Spider-Man shields the baby and crashes through a wall.

Back at the Coffee Bean, Carlie follows the sound of the cell phone ringing to one of the washrooms. Finding the phone she discovers that it is not Peter’s phone after all. As she calls out for Peter, Cooper is unaware that Tombstone has recovered consciousness and is looming over her.

By this time, security guards have surrounded Spider-Man as he came crashing in through the building. He makes a quick escape, which is deeply hampered with only one working webshooter. From his hideout, Doctor Octopus gloats because the media coverage, on top of virtually everybody having a camera on their phones, he is able to track the accursed wall-crawler wherever he ends up going.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Doctor Octopus, Harry Osborn, Stanley Osborn (unnamed), Lily Hollister, Mary Jane Watson, Carlie Cooper, J. Jonah Jameson, Electro, Sandman, Tombstone

Continuity Notes

  1. The child is not the son of Norman Osborn, he is the son of Harry as we’ll learn in Amazing Spider-Man #646.

  2. At the time of this story, Norman Osborn had just been incarcerated following a failed attack on Asgard in Siege #1-4.

  3. As explained in Amazing Spider-Man #586, Carlie Cooper was adopted by the Hollister family after her parents died (well her father didn’t, but that’s another story, see Amazing Spider-Man #618-620.) Carlie refers to Lily as a murdered because she was responsible for the death of Lisa Parfrey in Amazing Spider-Man #551.

  4. Spider-Man learned that Sandman had a daughter, Keemia, when the little girl was kidnapped. Spider-Man “rescued” her from the Sandman, only for the little girl to be placed in an abusive foster home. See Amazing Spider-Man #615-616.

Topical References

  • It is stated in this story that the population of New York City is 8 million people. This should be considered topical as the population of the city is subject to change.

Spidey Sundays Part Ten

Bull and Brain have forced Spider-Man into turning over his latest invention, a time machine. With Bull’s life on the line, the web-slinger brings them back to Peter Parker’s apartment. There, they find Mary Jane Watson waiting. When they ask who he is, Spider-Man admits that he is unsure if she’s his girlfriend, wife, or his ex-wife. He then excuses himself while he goes and changes back to Peter Parker. When Peter emerges from the bedroom, he has the time machine that Brain has been looking for.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Bull, Brain, Mary Jane Watson

Continuity Notes

  • Although unclear here, the universe that Bull and Brain travel to is not the Earth-616 universe which becomes clear when you see how fast and loose writer Stan Lee is with continuity, the silly plot, and not to mention how Spider-Man is self-aware of the fact that he is a comic book character. As I write this (September 2020) the reality Bull and Brain come from and the one they visit have yet to be designated a reality number.

Amazing Spider-Man #642

Amazing Spider-Man #642

Amazing Spider-Man #644

Amazing Spider-Man #644