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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #655

Amazing Spider-Man #655

Awakening

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On the day of Marla Madison’s funeral, J. Jonah Jameson had spent a sleepless night on his side of the bed when his alarm goes off. He gets up and silently goes about his daily routine. Meanwhile, Peter Parker is silently doing the same thing. Both men are grieving as they both blame themselves for the death of Marla Maidson.[1] As Peter gets dressed he unconsciously puts on his Spider-Man costume under his clothes and then stops dressing for a moment deciding he’s not going to wear it after all. At the Daily Bugle, Martha and Randy Robertson arrive to pick up Joe just as they publish the front page news about Marla’s death. Getting into the car with Martha, Joe puts his hand over hers.

Soon, mourners begin arriving at St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan to pay their respects. These include Peter Parker, his girlfriend Carlie Cooper, Peter’s Aunt May, her husband Jay Jameson, Glory Grant, Betty Brant, and Max Modell. Soon, Jonah arrives for the ceremony. Later, Jonah stands silently as Martha’s body is lowered into her grave. Although everyone tries to comfort him, Jonah leaves shortly after without saying a word. Peter watches all of this his heart aching the whole time.

Peter returns home where he tosses and turns until. Eventually, he falls asleep at 2 am and he begins to have a dream. In it, he relives the time shortly after he became Spider-Man when he let the burglar get away. This time he tries to reach out and stop him but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t catch the crook. He is eventually confronted by his Uncle Ben, his shirt bloodied by the gunshot that took his life. He tells Peter to let it go.[2] He tells Peter that he has gone to a better place with his brother Richard, and his wife Mary.[3] Peter is happy to see his parents and rushes to greet them. However when they turn around the Parkers accuse Peter of not remembering what the look like as they have no faces. He’s also shocked to see that the Burglar who killed Uncle Ben is eating breakfast with them.[4] When he asks why, Ben starts ushering them all onto a plane and tells him that dead is dead and they all go to the same place together. Peter can’t believe the Burglar would go to the same place as them. That’s when Aunt May pushes past him to board the plane to the afterlife as well. Peter rushes to try and stop her when suddenly May turns into Marla Madison. Marla accuses Peter of being willing to do whatever it takes to save May, but not her.

The scene suddenly changes and Peter finds himself in an ancient temple with Marla heading up the stairs to outside. Peter tries to assure her that he did everything she could. Marla figures its just as well as she’ll probably be back, reminding him how she used to build Spider-Slayers and how villains always find a way to come back.[5] Peter refuses to call her a villain and says she is a good person. As spiders begin covering her as she walks into the light, Marla figures she is really dead for good after all. Peter, racked with guilt, tries to follow her and ends up in a topsy-turvy version of Manhattan. As he searches for Marla Madison he keeps on running into all of the friends, colleagues, and loved ones that have died over his career as Spider-Man.[6] Spotting Gwen Stacy, Peter follows after her but quickly loses her among the crowd of people.[7] However on the other side of the crowd, Peter is shocked to see Charlie, the woman that died by his own hands.

That’s when Peter runs into Charlie, the female spy he met years earlier in Berlin, the only person he ever killed with his own hands. He bows before her an apologizes for causing her death and tells her that he didn’t mean to. That’s when the Green Goblin flies in and scoops up Charlie, and she suddenly changes into Gwen Stacy. Spider-Man suddenly finds himself up on the George Washington Bridge where he relives a twisted version of the day Gwen Stacy died. Gwen, her neck broken asks why Peter couldn’t avenge her death. The Goblin, now with his own glider sticking out his chest, calls Spider-Man too much of a coward, saying he had to take matters into his own hands.[8] He then knocks Gwen off the edge of the bridge again. When Spider-Man reaches out for her his hand is grabbed by Kraven the Hunter.

Spider-Man suddenly finds himself in a cemetery where a number of his foes are crawling out from the grave.[9] Peter questions how his enemies keep coming back and he is told by Kraven, Mysterio and the Jackal have found way to cheat death through other means. That’s when someone shouts “Justice is Served” and guns down Kraven, Mysterio, and the Jackal. Spider-Man suddenly finds himself in the middle of the Bar With No Name on the day that the Scourge of the Underworld slaughtered all of the supervillains drinking there.[10] That’s when he witnesses the Punisher killing Stilt-Man, a killing that Spider-Man finds senseless.[11] He then tries to stop Wolverine from killing the Hornet, one of the good guys, however Wolverine trivializes the murder by comparing it to making amulets.

That’s when Spider-Man catches a news report on the bar’s television. Oddly, the news anchor is Captain America who tells Spider-Man to grow up, pointing out that he killed a lot of Nazis during the war. Spider-Man tries to explain that was different. That’s when the feed changes to footage of the time that the Sentry pulled Carnage out into space and ripped him in half.[12] The Sentry said that he should have done this before. Spider-Man’s explanations that Carnage came back anyway falls on deaf ears and the Sentry tells Spider-Man that every time he failed to kill Carnage he went on to murder more people and their deaths are all on his head. Spider-Man tries to argue that nobody should have the power to decide who lives or who dies, reminding the Sentry that this turned led to his dark side — the Void — returning and his ultimate demise.[13] Turning into the Void, the Sentry tells Spider-Man if he could go back he wouldn’t change a thing and asks Spider-Man if he could do the same.

Spider-Man suddenly finds himself back at the moment where the burglar was running past him. This time, he grabs the crook and begins beating him to a bloody pulp. However, the Burglar suddenly changes into his Uncle Ben causing him to stop. The battered and bloody form of Ben Parker tells Peter that this is how he would have died and with it everything he sacrificed his life to give him, including his love and pride. Peter promises that it won’t ever come to this. He is then confronted by all of the other dead who all ask him in unison what he will do now. Peter suddenly wakes up from this horrific dream and goes out as Spider-Man. Looking over the city from a water tower, Peter vows that from now on nobody dies on his watch.

As Peter is making this vow, Captain Yuri Watanabe of the NYPD is dealing with a hostage situation. The hostage taker is a man with a metal plate in his skull calling himself Massacre. It’s not going well as Massacre has just shot one of the hostages in the head. He tells Yuri over the phone that the killing was to demonstrate that he has no demands and no regard for human life. With his hand on the trigger of a bunch of explosives he has rigged up, he tells Watanabe if she doesn’t do exactly what he tells her they will have a real massacre on their hands.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Martha Robertson, Randy Robertson, Norah Winters, Ben Urich, Aunt May, Jay Jameson, Carlie Cooper, Glory Grant, Betty Brant, Max Modell

Continuity Notes

1. Marla Madison is the latest person in Peter Parker’s life to bite the biscuit. She was murdered by the Spider-Slayer in Amazing Spider-Man #654.

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2. What trip down memory lane is complete without belaboring the point that Uncle Ben was murdered due to Peter’s inaction? Amazing Fantasy #15.

3. Peter’s parents were government agents who were killed in the line of duty while Peter as still an infant. See Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5.

4. The Burglar died of a heart attack when he discovered that Spider-Man was actually Peter Parker. See Amazing Spider-Man #200.

5. Marla Madison invented the 5th Spider-Slayer robot in Amazing Spider-Man #166.

6. This two page spread is a regular who’s who of people who have died since Peter Parker became Spider-Man. They are:

  • The first person Peter sees is one of the earliest people to die on his watch, the thrill seeking Sally Avril. She died in a car accident chasing crime photos while Peter was still in high school in Untold Tales of Spider-Man #13. Her telling Peter that he’s not her type is a reference to a line she said to him when he tried asking her out in Amazing Fantasy #15.

  • The man telling Peter to say cheese is Nick Katzenberg. He was a sleazy paparazzi hired by the Daily Bugle. A life-long smoker he died of lung caner as reported in Amazing Spider-Man #398.

  • Next we see Nathan Lubensky. He had a long time relationship with May Parker until he died of heart failure in Amazing Spider-Man #336. At one point, May and Nathan were engaged, however his gambling addiction and increasingly bitter attitude soured any wedding plans. Peter tells him how May re-married, that was in Amazing Spider-Man #600.

  • The Spider-Mobile makes an appearance here. Although it’s not a living being it wasn’t long for the world either. It was a stupid idea cooked up an advertising firm to promote a new pollution free engine. Spider-Man constructed it in Amazing Spider-Man #130 and promptly drive it into a river in Amazing Spider-Man #141. It’s changed ownership over the years and at the time of this story it was last seen on display at the Smithsonian in Amazing Spider-Man #600.

  • Next up we have George Stacy, who died pushing a child out of the way of falling debris during a fight between Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus in Amazing Spider-Man #90. George scolds Peter for failing to keep his daughter Gwen safe, these were his final words to Peter when he died.

  • We also see Martha Connors with her son Billy. Martha died of cancer in Spider-Man: Quality of Life #3, while Billy was murdered by his own father during one of his transformations into the Lizard in Amazing Spider-Man #631.

  • Also we see Alan Jobson, who operated as Jackpot for a time. She died due to a reaction between the drugs that gave her superhuman powers and Blindside’s neurotoxin in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #35

  • Next to Jackpot is Lisa Parfrey a mayoral candidate that was accidentally killed when Menace attacked her. She ended up on the business end of a Goblin Glider in Amazing Spider-Man #551, a pretty common way to go in the Spider-Verse.

  • Also nearby is Sean Rockwell, whom you might forget was the agent for actor Bobby Carr. He was murdered by Paper Doll in Amazing Spider-Man #560.

  • Speaking of Gwen Stacy, she is the next person we see. She was murdered by the Green Goblin who tossed her off the George Washington Bridge in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

7. We’ve got ourselves a huge crowd shot that stretches across two pages and it’s more dead characters, at least as far as Peter knows it. These people are….

  • The Scarlet Spider, one of Peter Parker’s clones. He also died on the business end of a Goblin Glider in Spider-Man #75.

  • Another Spider-Clone, Kaine, is also seen among the crowd. He was killed by Sasha Kravinoff in an effort to resurrect her husband, Sergei in Amazing Spider-Man #635. What Peter doesn’t know is that Kaine came back to life in issue #637, something he won’t learn until issue #671.

  • Ned Leeds was a reporter for the Daily Bugle who was framed for being the Hobgoblin. He had his throat slit by assassins in Spider-Man Versus Wolverine #1 under orders from Jason Macendale who usurped the Hobgoblin identity.

  • The little boy reading the Spider-Man comic book is Tim Harrison the “kid who collected Spider-Man.” He was a boy who collected Spider-Man memorabilia who was living in a cancer ward. Peter visited him as Spider-Man before his death after reading about him in the Daily Bugle. See Amazing Spider-Man #248.

  • Behind little Timmy is Mattie Franklin, aka the third Spider-Woman who was also murdered by the Kravinoff family in Amazing Spider-Man #634 to resurrect Vladimir Kravinoff.

  • Next to Timmy is Frederick Foswell reformed mob boss and Daily Bugle reporter who took a bullet meant for J. Jonah Jameson in Amazing Spider-Man #52.

  • Next to Foswell is Lance Bannon another photographer for the Daily Bugle who met with an untimely end. He was murdered by FACADE in Web of Spider-Man #114.

  • To the left of Gwen Stacy in the line is the John Ladue, aka the Bookie, who took bets on superhuman battles at the Bar With No Name until he was murdered after he learned the truth about the Spider-Tracer Killings, a conspiracy amongst officers in the NYPD to frame Spider-Man for murders in Amazing Spider-Man #582.

  • Next to the Bookie is Jean DeWolf, a police captain and long time friend of Spider-Man. She was gunned down by the Sin-Eater in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #107.

  • In front of Jean is Ezekiel Sims, a man who attempted to mentor Spider-Man on the mystical aspects of his powers. Sims later attempted to sacrifice Peter to a spider-totem only to take his place in Amazing Spider-Man #508.

  • Behing Ezekiel is Oksana Sytsevich, who was briefly married to the Rhino before his successor murdered her in Amazing Spider-Man #625.

  • At the end of the page we see the dumbfounded look of Bennett Brant, brother of Betty Brant. As far as Peter knows, Bennett died when he was shot by Blackie Gaxton back in Amazing Spider-Man #11. He actually survived and will resurface as the new Crime-Master in Venom (vol. 2) #1, his survival is explained in issue #21 of that series.

  • Lastly, there is “Charlie” aka Charlemaine, a female spy that Spider-Man accidentally killed in Spider-Man Versus Wolverine #1. However, Wolverine believes that she intentionally put herself in the path of Spider-Man’s punch to kill herself.

8. After Gwen was murdered, Spider-Man battles the Green Goblin to his seeming demise when he too ended up on the business end of a Goblin Glider (see, I told you it was popular!) in Amazing Spider-Man #122. However, Osborn survived thanks to the healing properties of the Goblin Formula in his system and went into hiding for years as explained in Spider-Man: The Osborn Journal #1. He resurfaced again in Amazing Spider-Man #413 before revealing to Peter that he was still alive in Spider-Man #75.

9. The three villains that Spider-Man encounters in the grave yard all cheated death in one way or another:

  • Kraven the Hunter committed suicide during the Kraven’s Last Hunt story arc by blowing his brains out in Amazing Spider-Man #294. As I mentioned above, he was resurrected in a mystical sacrifice in issue #635.

  • Mysterio is a little more complicated to explain. Taking a page from Kraven, he also blew his brains out after being diagnosed with brain cancer in Daredevil (vol. 2) #7. He reappeared as an undead spirit in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11. He reappeared alive again in Spider-Man Unlimited Annual #3, although Spider-Man would not discover he was still alive until Amazing Spider-Man #618. It was later revealed in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 5) #1 that Beck was restored to life by an entity calling itself Kindred.

  • Lastly, we have the Jackal who has faked his death using clones of himself on a number of occasions. The first time was in Amazing Spider-Man #149, as explained in Spider-Man: The Osborn Journal #1, the Jackal replaced himself with a clone that was later killed in a bomb blast. A clone of the Jackal carried out his schemes in Amazing Spider-Man #399, believing itself to be the original Miles Warren. He died in Spider-Man: Maximum Clonage Omega #1. However isn’t properly explained until Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 4) #22. Prior to this the real Jackal resurfaced in Daredevil vs. Punisher #1.

10. The infamous massacre at the Bar With No Name occurred in Captain America #319. However, the way Spider-Man envisions it is different that the real event. Here, Scourge is shown wearing his white “death’s head” costume. However, on the day in question, Scourge was disguised as a bar tender and was not in costume. Not all the criminals depicted here were actually killed in this massacre.

  • For the record, those who were reported killed at the Bar With No Name were Jaguar, Hellrazor, Shellshock, Bird-Man, Cyclone, Turner D. Century, the Grappler, the Cheetah, the Vamp, Commander Kraken, Letha, Steeplejack, Mind-Wave, Rapier, Hijacker. The Ringer was reported being killed but he was revealed to be the sole survivor in Lethal Foes of Spider-Man #4.

  • The two individuals that were present at the massacre seen in this dream sequence were Mirage and Blaze, however Blaze wasn’t in costume at the time.

  • Basilisk was murdered by Scourge at the site where the Four Freedoms Plaza was being constructed in Fantastic Four #289.

  • The original Enforcer was the first recorded Scourge victim, getting killed while Scourge was posing as a homeless woman in Iron Man #194.

10. Stilt-Man became the Punisher’s first victim when he turned his attentions away from organized crime to focus on super-villains in Punisher: War Journal (vol. 2) #1.

11. The Hornet was murdered by Wolverine while he was under the control of the Hand in Wolverine (vol. 3) #23.

12. The Sentry attempted to kill Carnage in New Avengers #2 by ripping him in half in space. However he survived thanks to his symbiote pulling him back together and keeping them in a dormant state until they were returned to Earth in Carnage #1-5.

13. At the time of this story, the Sentry had just recently lost control of his powers and was killed by being dropped into the sun in Siege #4.

Amazing Spider-Man #654.1

Amazing Spider-Man #654.1

Amazing Spider-Man #656

Amazing Spider-Man #656