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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #660

Amazing Spider-Man #660

Fantastic Voyage Part Two

The Future Foundation have been investigating a strange anomaly that could threaten all existence to discover a strange portal at the location of the Fantastic Four’s first time travel adventure.[1] They are joined by the children under their care who have come to warn them of the danger of the portal when they discover that this is a trap set by the Sinister Six. As Spider-Man, Mister Fantastic, the Invisible Woman, and the Thing battle the Sinister Six and an army of zombie pirates, they are joined by Franklin and Valiera Richards, Bentley-23, Dragon Man, Alex Power, and Turg, ignoring orders from the Invisible Woman to go back to the Baxter Building where it is safe.

As Spider-Man battles the Chameleon, the master spy notices that the web-slinger is easier to hit and suggests that he is on too many teams.[2] Spider-Man quickly knocks him out, not wanting it to be broadcast that he recently lost his spider-sense.[3] Since the Chameleon was using martial arts against him, Spider-Man considers getting some training to better his fighting skills.[4] That’s when Spider-Man gets ambushed by the Sandman. At that same moment, the Thing is locked in battle with the Rhino, but easily defeats him.[5] Not far away, Mister Fantastic is trying to get Doctor Octopus to see reason as he is being overwhealmed by more and more mechanical arms.[6] The Invisible Woman warns her husband that he is being manipulated by one of Mysterio’s illusions but is too busy dealing with Electro to come to his aid. Electro makes the mistake of dismissing her as an easy hostage and learns a harsh lesson as to why she is the most powerful member of the Fantastic Four.

Meanwhile, the children of the Freedom Foundation are kept safe by their body guard, Dragon Man. When the pirate zombies walk through the android’s flames the children quickly deduce that they are robots and start working together to disable them. That’s when the adults realize that they aren’t fighting the real Sinister Six, but robot duplicates made to keep them away from the portal. As they start trashing the robots Sue suddenly bursts into flames as she gets powers similar to her brother, the Human Torch.[7] Mysterio and the Chameleon (the only two villains who are actually there) wonder which one of them came up with this trick, only to realize that neither of them created such an illusion.

Back in New York City, the real Sandman has just broken into the Baxter Building and let in the rest of the Sinister Six.[8] When Sandman talks about how it was luck that he was able to break into the building in the first place, Doctor Octopus dismisses this idea, reminding him how they recently bested both Iron Man and Giant-Man, geniuses that rival the mind of Octavius himself.[9] As they deal with the HERBIE unites that try to secure the base, Doctor Octopus heads into Reed Richards’ lab to find they device that will lead to his ultimate victory.

At that same moment, the members of the Future Foundation that made up the original Fantastic Four suddenly discover that their powers have been swapped. While Sue has the powers of the Torch, Reed can now turn invisible, while Ben Grimm has returned to human form and now has the ability to stretch his body. That’s not the only change, as Spider-Man’s costume suddenly changes to resemble the one worn by Spider-Woman costume. The portal also begins affecting the children as well. Mik turns into a rocky form like the Thing, while Bentley and Artie both have become invisible. More disturbingly, Valeria has become a disembodied head inside a jar. That’s when Dragon Man suddenly turns into an actual dragon and begins going on a rampage.

With her body restored, Valeria then rushes to the tacheon pack that she fitted on Dragon Man and uses it for parts to build a weapon to shut down the portal, the source of all of these random changes. As Valeria begins shutting down the portal, Spider-Man leaps into action and gets everyone — including Mysterio and the Chameleon — out of the way of the blast when the portal finally explodes. With the portal destroyed, everyone is restored to normal. Unfortunately, Mysterio and the Chameleon manage to escape in the confusion. Spider-Man begins blaming himself, but the rest of the Future Foundation point out that he didn’t know the Sinister Six had gotten back together and, even then, it was his experience with these foes that led the team to victory.

When Peter Parker returns to his apartment his girlfriend Carlie Cooper is waiting for him. She tells him that she wants to know where he went after she caught him lying about being on a business trip for Horizon Labs. Peter explains that part of his work has to be kept a secret, pointing out that it’s just like the sealed files she deals with her own career as a crime scene investigator. However, Carlie doesn’t want him keeping secrets from her. When he asks her to trust him and asks what she thinks of him, she admits that he’s a good guy then gets upset because she feels like she has ruined their relationship by getting so defensive over this. Peter asks her what’s wrong, she admits that while he was gone she got drunk and got a tattoo to try and get a rise out of him. She then reveals that she got a Spider-Man tattoo instead of the Osborn Goblin Tattoo that has become so popular recently.[10] Peter surprises her by saying that it is the sexiest tattoo he has ever seen and the two spend their first night in bed together.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Future Foundation (Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Thing, Franklin Richards, Valeria Richards, Bently-23, Alex Power, Dragon Man, Turg), Sinister Six (Doctor Octopus, Mysterio, Electro, Sandman, Chameleon, Rhino)

Continuity Notes

  1. That would be when Doctor Doom sent the male members of the team back to the 18th century to steal Blackbear’s treasure in Fantastic Four #5.

  2. At the time of this story, Spider-Man had just recently joined the Future Foundation in Amazing Spider-Man #657. This was during a period of time when the web-slinger was members of two team of Avengers as well. He has been a long standing member of the New Avengers since New Avengers #1, and had recently joined the original team’s new roster when it reformed in Avengers (vol. 4) #1.

  3. Spider-Man sacrificed his own spider-sense to defeat the Spider-Slayer’s Slayer Swarm who had similar powers by using a device that would destroy these abilities. This was in Amazing Spider-Man #654.

  4. Spider-Man will get training under Iron Fist in Free Comic Book Day: Amazing Spider-Man 2011.

  5. The Thing states that the Rhino used to be a challenge. The pair first fought in Thing #24.

  6. Mister Fantastic mentions Doc Ock’s “condition”, he is referring to the degeneration of Otto’s body caused by years of blows to the head. His condition was first revealed in Amazing Spider-Man #600.

  7. I should make a point here to say that at the time of this story, everyone thinks the Human Torch died in Fantastic Four #587. He survived and will resurface again in Fantastic Four #600.

  8. Sandman complains about how Mister Fantastic sealed up his headquarters against him dating back to when he was a member of the Frightful Four. The Sandman was a founding member of that team which first formed in Fantastic Four #36.

  9. Doctor Octopus clashed with Tony Stark and Hank Pym in Invincible Iron Man #501-503 and Avengers Academy #14 respectively.

  10. Since he was arrested in Siege #4, Norman Osborn has become revered among criminals who have gotten Green Goblin tattoos as a pledge of loyalty to him, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #647.

Great Power

The Jackal has just infested New York City with genetically altered bed bugs and is now observing the results of his experiment. At a high school, a bully named Richard Davies begins hassling another student named Ogden. Ogden has decided that enough is enough and tries to pull a gun on his tormentor. However, Richard had been bitten by one of these bed bugs and has developed a spider-sense and the proportionate strength of a spider.

This new spider-sense warns him of the gun and he shoves Ogden into the lockers with enough force to cave in the youth’s head on impact. The Jackal is amused as Richard flees the scene and decides to see how his work is affecting the rest of the city.

Recurring Characters

Jackal

Topical References

  • The Jackal states that the population of Manhattan is about 8 million people. This should be considered topical because the population of this major city is subject to change.

Can’t Get the Service Part Three

Spider-Man has just failed to stop the demon known as Servicer from merging with the Ghost Rider’s motorcycle. Now the two heroes have to try and stop the merged enttity that is now running amok in the streets of New York. The absurdity of the situation is not lost on the Ghost Rider, but admits that nothing about his life has been normal since he became the Spirit of Vengeance.

Web-slinging over the Servicer/motorcycle hybrid, Spider-Man tries to drop the Ghost Rider onto the seat. However, the Servicer quickly bucks Ghost Rider off his back. This sends Ghost Rider flying through a wall, prompting Spider-Man to crack jokes about how Ghost Rider’s name is not more literal.

They spot the Servicer driving up the side of Rockefeller Plaza. Ghost Rider remembers something Servicer said when he first came after his bike about how the demon wanted to feast upon the pain of the souls amassed on the island and figures that it trying to get to one of the highest points in the city is probably not a good thing. Although the follow the Servicer up to the top of the building, the demon begins casting a spell that makes every mortal — Spider-Man included — start screaming in agony.

Since this is not affecting Ghost Rider, Spider-Man tells him to save the day befoe keeling over in pain. Ghost Rider confronts the Servicer and goads him into charging at him. Struck by a blow from the Ghost Rider’s chain, the Servicer is separated from the motorcycle. The Ghost Rider then reclaims his motorcycle, telling the Servicer that it is his to command and it has rejected the demon. He then curb stromps the Servicer, crushing his head. As the Servicer’s essance drifts back to whence it came, he tells the Servicer to tell his masters that the Ghost Rider serves neither heaven or hell and to spread the word.[1]

Recovering from the spell, Spider-Man interrupts the Ghost Rider’s speech asking him if he can catch a lift back to Tribeca.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Ghost Rider, Servicer

Continuity Notes

  1. Ghost Rider was freed from his curse following Shadowland: Ghost Rider #1.

Amazing Spider-Man #659

Amazing Spider-Man #659

Amazing Spider-Man #661

Amazing Spider-Man #661