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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #693

Amazing Spider-Man #693

That Something Special

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While the Fantastic Four and Spider-Man were busy taking down Giganto, the novice hero known as Alpha quickly took the monster down with his powers. Now, before the news media, Alpha has just told the world about his powers and how he is now Spider-Man’s side-kick. The kid then takes off, leaving the grown-ups to clean up the mess. While the Fantastic Four prepare to take Giganto back to Subeterranea, Mister Fantastic reminds Spider-Man that his job is to keep tabs on Alpha whose powers are increasing at an alarming rate.

Spider-Man doesn’t like this because Alpha is rubbing him the wrong way. He heads over to MJ’s the bar owned by Mary Jane. Seeing that Peter looks troubled, Mary Jane takes over at the bar so Peter can talk about what’s bothering him. He tells her that she was right when she said that Alpha is just like him, but acting the way Peter always wanted to when he was in high school with superpowers if his Uncle Ben hadn’t died.[1] Mary Jane tries to convince Peter that he isn’t who is because his Uncle Ben died, but because Uncle Ben lived and played a part in making Peter the responsible person he is today. However, Peter doesn’t see it that way and when he realizes that Alpha doesn’t wear a mask like he did and the whole world knows who he is. This abrupt realization prompts Peter to make an abrupt departure from MJ’s to mull over this new dynamic.

The following day, Chrissy Chan is heading over to Andy Maguire’s house, still in awe over the fact that she is dating a superhero. Overhearing her is the Jackal and one of his Spider-Queen clones who are waiting for the right moment to strike. She is quickly invited in and walks past Andy’s parents who are more worried about if her Alpha fan site is monetized and how they can make more money off it. She then walks in on Andy as he is making out with Paula Lake, the head cheerleader at school. Chrissy is immediately hurt by this and storms out of the house while Alpha offers flimsy excuses to explain the situation. That’s when Miles Warren and his Spider-Queen clone, named Princess, come to the door and quickly web up Andy’s parents and their lawyer. Seeing this, Andy tries to blast the two intruders, but his use of his energy powers leave him open to being struck by the stingers fired out of Princess’s mouth, knocking out both Alpha and Paula.

Spider-Man arrives on the scene an hour later with the authorities and looks over the crime scene. He questions a paparazzi named Frankie Kollins. Kollins suggests that this is all Spider-Man’s fault because he was parading the kid around, an inconvenient truth that Spider-Man can’t argue with.[2]

Meanwhile, at Horizon Labs, Glory Grant visits on behalf of the mayor who is not happy about their handling of the Alpha situation. The company is already on the hot seat since Jameson declared Horizon a menace. Aunt May and Jay Jameson arrive to hear this and May is worried that her nephew, Peter Parker, will lose his dream job if the mayor shuts Horizon down. Jay assures his wife that he’ll try to talk sense into his son.[3] That’s when Peter enters the room and tells them that Alpha is all his fault and wishes Jonah would take it out on him instead of everyone else. When he asks why they came, May said they wanted to see him one more time because they’re heading back to Boston early. Peter admits that he is busy with this Alpha situation and tells May that he’ll see them off before they return home.

Soon, Peter and Max Modell get down to work on a device that will allow them to track Alpha’s energy signature. While they work, Peter suggests to Max that he should leave Horizon Labs to protect them from being shut down since he feels that his relationship with Spider-Man has brought unnecessary attention to the company. However, Max points out that Peter created some of the company’s most profitable inventions and reminds him how much good Horizon has done and that he wouldn’t trade them for the world.[4]

Soon Spider-Man is out looking for Alpha using the device he and Max Modell built. He is thankful to have Max in his life and thinks how lucky he has been having supportive father figures in his life, equating his friendship with Max being on par with his relationships with George Stacy and his Uncle Ben.[5] This gets him to think that maybe Mary Jane was right about Alpha not having a mentor in his life. The trail leaves him to an abandoned school in Brooklyn. Inside, Spider-Man is ambushed by the Spider-Queen clones. Although he holds his own against them he is soon knocked out by one of the clone’s stingers. In the next room, Alpha has been contained with a set of carbonadium shackles and a white-noise helmet. The Jackal explains his plans to create a new batch of clones, all of whom will have Alpha’s powers.

That’s when Spider-Man is dragged in the room and the Jackal admits that he is envious that his former student managed to out mad-scientist him. Spider-Man, who had been playing possum this whole time attacks the Jackal. When the villain falls apart in a single blow, the real Jackal comes out of hiding saying that what Spider-Man destroyed was another clone of himself. That’s when he opens his cloning casks and orders all of his clones of Alpha to destroy Spider-Man. However, for some reason, the cloning process failed to give the clones any superpowers. He orders his Spiderzons to attack Spider-Man while he tries to harvest the power from its source. As Spider-Man struggles with his opponents, he tells Andy to focus his powers and use them to free himself. However, instead of inspiring Andy to be a hero, Alpha instead frees himself because he doesn’t want to lose his powers. Spider-Man is horrified when Andy then uses his powers to slaughter his clones. Seeing that his plan is a failure, the Jackal presses a button on his control panel to destroy all the clones, including himself, yet another clone.

With the battle over, Alpha and Spider-Man free Andy’s parents, their lawyer Joan Conway, and Paula Lake. After making sure everyone is okay, Andy admits that his powers are a huge responsibility and he wants to make sure he is using them properly. Spider-Man thinks Andy is talking to him, but as it turns out he is talking to Joan Conway whom he hires as his agent. Soon, all the gossip magazines are reporting that Andy emancipated himself from his parents and moved into a Manhattan penthouse with his agent. Reading this, the members of the Fantastic Four are not impressed with this turn of events. At Horizon Labs, Hector Baez tells Max Modell that they have a morality clause on Andy’s contract with them. However, this does little to appease Max who still feels responsible for the young man.

Later, Mary Jane pays a visit to Peter at Horizon Labs. Peter apologizes for not being around the past few days because he has been very busy recently. He tells Mary Jane that he has managed to trick Alpha into continuing their training by saying it could lead to a spot in the Avengers. In reality, Peter is just buying time until he finds a cure as he has decided that Andy Maguire is not worthy of the power he has.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Alpha, Mary Jane Watson, Ray Maguire, Alice Maguire, Joan Conway, Max Modell, Hector Baez, Aunt May, Jay Jameson, Jackal, Fantastic Four (Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Thing), Giganto, Chrissy Chen, Paula Lake, Frankie Collins, Glory Grant

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Continuity Notes

1. Holy shit buddy, read Amazing Fantasy #15 already.

2. We last saw Frankie Kollins back in Amazing Spider-Man #560.

3. J. Jonah Jameson declared Horizon Labs a menace and has actively been trying to shut them down since Amazing Spider-Man #681.

4. There are a lot of Horizon Labs history dropped here. The facts are:

  • Peter invented noise-cancelling head phones, a new type of motorcycle helmet, and cryo-genic device. They were all reverse engineered from technology Peter made for Spider-Man. See Amazing Spider-Man #650, 656, and 666.

  • Peter mentions the troubles Horizon Labs have had with Morbius the Living Vampire and Grady Scrap’s defective time door. See Amazing Spider-Man #678-679 and 679.1

  • Max reminds Peter that Horizon recently helped save the city during Spider-Island and the world during Ends of the Earth. See Amazing Spider-Man #666-673 and Amazing Spider-Man #682-687.

5. George Stacy mentored Peter while he dated her daughter Gwen until his death in Amazing Spider-Man #90.

Topical References

  • Outdated pop-culture references: Lindsay Lohan, Justin Beiber

Amazing Spider-Man #692

Amazing Spider-Man #692

Amazing Spider-Man #694

Amazing Spider-Man #694