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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man #697

Amazing Spider-Man #697

War of the Goblins

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Having stolen the Goblin Key from the Kingpin, Peter Parker and Max Modell are running for their lives as they are chased by two Hobgoblins — Phil Urich, and Roderick Kingsley. While Peter tries to keep the Goblins at bay with his web-shooters, Max is protected from their weapons by a personal forcefield that he created for himself. Luckily, the Hobgoblins rivalry with each other causes the pair to start fighting with each other again when Phil runs out of pumpkin bombs and tries to steal Kingsley’s supply of the weapons. Kingsley warns Phil that he has rigged his Goblin Drone to hunt down and kill his love, Norah Winters.

Meanwhile, Max has discovered that the Goblin Key is giving off a signal the closer they get to the Oscorp building. Suddenly, a secret door opens and Peter shoves Max into it. The door then closes behind them, cutting the Goblins off from them for the time being. Inside, Peter and Max are surprised to discover one of Norman Osborn’s armories. They are then greeted by a holographic projection of Osborn that knows they are intruders and warns them that if they don’t enter the deactivation code in the next sixty seconds the hideout will self-destruct.

Peter puts a quick call to his friend Harry Osborn, who has retreated to Seattle with his son Stanley and gone into hiding. Harry tells Peter that the password is probably “Stromm” and the signal cuts out before he can find out if it worked.[1] Harry then tosses out his cell phone and leaves the park with his son. He decides to tell Stanley about his friend Peter Parker, who he says if overly dramatic all the time.

Back in New York, Peter enters the password and he and Max are relieved when it works. Max asks who they should call for help and Peter suggests that they’re on their on their own this time. Outside the hideout, the Hobgoblins continue to smash their way in but it is taking too much time. Urich decides to change tactics by ordering Parker to open up, telling him that Norah Winters is in trouble. Seeing Phil change his priorities, Roderick is impressed and figures that Urich might be cut out for this career after all. Inside Peter stalls for time as he whips up a Goblin Glider. He tells Max he intends on facing the two Goblins alone by “pretending” to be Spider-Man, explaining to Max he did it once before in high school.[2] By this time, Tiberius Stone has repaired the spider-sense jammer causing Peter excruciating pain. He works through it while he has Max find the secret escape passage and set the hideout to self-destruct. He then sends Max to find Norah Winters while he faces off against the two Goblins.

As Peter fights the two Goblins, Roderick Kingsley threatens to kill Norah Winters for his interference. Hearing this, Phil suddenly realizes that he doesn’t care anymore. Meanwhile, a golden octobot arrives in Manhattan and overhearing a police report about Spider-Man’s battle with the Hobgoblins, hitches a ride on a police car. Meanwhile, Max Modell manages to reach Norah Winter and protects her from an exploding Goblin-Drone with his personal forcefield. As the octobot arrives at the scene of the battle, the Goblins are furious when Osborn’s secret cache explodes. Since Norah is safe and the weapons destroyed, Spider-Man decides to leave. Urich suggests that he and Kingsley resume their truce and go after Spider-Man. However, Roderick knocks out Urich with a gauntlet blast and flies themselves over to the nearby river. Since none of them are coming up to the surface, Spider-Man considers the battle over and leaves.

Kingsley however, has no intention of killing Phil Urich. Instead he has been inspired and decides to allow Urich to continue being the Hobgoblin in exchange for a cut. While back in Shadowland, the Kingpin learns about his losses and that Tiberius Stone has fled in the confusion. The Kingpin smashes the spider-sense jammer. His minions vow that they will hunt Tiberius down, assuring the Kingpin that there is nowhere he can hide. Fleeing through the city, Stone gets a text message from Max Modell, who is informing Tiberius that he’s fired. Meanwhile, Spider-Man checks on Max and Norah and confirms that they are safe. As he leaves, Peter worries that Max Modell might be figuring out Spider-Man’s secret identity.

While at the Columbia University Medical Center, a doctor is pulled away from his latest patient — Madame Web — to another part of the coma ward where they were holding Norman Osborn. Apparently, Osborn woke up and escaped out a window when nobody was looking.[3]

Later, at his mansion in Paris, the Roderick Kingsley returns home to learn that Phil Urich has wired his cut to his Swiss bank account. As it turns out, Roderick as found a new buisness where he sells the franchise rights to super-villain identities to would-be criminals. He has many new customers including a new Devil-Spider, Hitman, Bluestreak, Blaze and Tumbler. He then gets a delivery of the Unicorn’s old costume and weapons, adding a new franchise to make even more money from.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Doctor Octopus, Hobgoblin (Kingsley), Hobgoblin (Urich), Max Modell, Harry Osborn, Stanley Osborn, Madame Web, the Kingpin, the Hand, Tiberius Stone, Norah Winters, Rachel Carpenter, Devil-Spider, Hitman, Bluestreak, Blaze, Tumbler

Continuity Notes

  1. “Stromm” is the last name of Norman Osborn’s former business partner, Mendel Stromm. For the history between Osborn and Stromm see Amazing Spider-Man #39-40.

  2. Peter is referring to the events of Amazing Spider-Man #12 when Doctor Octopus unmasked him. At the time Peter’s powers were on the blink because he had the flu and foolishly answered a challenge from Doctor Octopus anyway. When Otto easily defeated him, everyone presumed that Parker was pretending to be Spider-Man to save Betty Brant.

  3. Norman Osborn had been in a coma since Avengers (vol. 4) #24.

Amazing Spider-Man #696

Amazing Spider-Man #696

Amazing Spider-Man #698

Amazing Spider-Man #698