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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #39

Amazing Spider-Man Annual #39

Spider-Who?

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Peter Parker was helping Grady Scraps with his latest experiment when he was jolted with energy from the device. When he wakes up, he finds himself in Central Park being hassled by cops who want to know what he’s doing sleeping in the middle of the bike path with a bunch of chunks of metal stamped with Horizon Lab’s logo.[1] Peter shows them his ID, but they return it to him because its blank. Unaware that anything is wrong, Peter slips away from the police to change back into Spider-Man and web-sling back to Horizon Labs.[2]

Passing through Times Square, the various advertisement and news stories cause him to pause. Mary Jane is starring in a movie called Rescue, Flash Thompson is a gold medal Olympian, President J. Jonah Jameson is announcing a budget surplus, while Osborn Industries owner Norman Osborn is releasing a cure for cancer. Rushing to Horizon Labs, Peter Parker tires to access his lab but the hand print reader doesn’t recognize him. Neither does one of the security guards who comes to ask what he is doing. Peter realizes that he has somehow erased from history and asks the guard to find Grady Scraps. He explains Grady’s experiment and how it they were working on fixing a problem with his temporal storage device, as it caused everyone to forget whatever was stored. The guard responds to this by tossing Peter out, telling him not to come back. Peter decides to seek help elsewhere, figuring he couldn’t get into Horizon Labs as Spider-Man anyway due to the security.[3]

Changing back into Spider-Man, Peter looks around and discovers that everyone seems to be better off without Spider-Man in their lives. He wonders if the world will be better off without him. Peter continues to look around and make sense of his new situation. The following afternoon he is in Queens to get some ice cream when suddenly the city is rocked by what, at first, appears to be an earthquake. However, Peter suddenly finds himself shot backwards in time to his high school days. His class is going on a field trip and Peter is told to stop goofing around and get back on the bus.[4]

Back in the present day, Avengers Mansion is rocked by the same earthquake. Suspicious, Iron Man flies above the city to give it a scan and determines that this was the result of a chronal disturbance and sends out a call for the Avengers to assemble. In the past, Peter is bullied by Flash and the other kids and Peter doesn’t understand why, after seeing a world that is better off without him, he is being forced to relive the shittiest parts of his life. Suddenly, Peter is pulled back into the present day, falling in the middle of the road, forcing him to roll in order to avoid being hit by a car. Not far away, the Avengers have arrived where Peter first disappeared. Before Luke Cage can touch the discarded ice cream cone, Iron Man warns him not to touch it as it is chronal timebomb and warns his teammates that they dealing with a very deadly foe.

Meanwhile, Peter Parker has decided to go to Forest Hills and check on how things changed at his old family home. He tries to convince himself that this is a bad idea until Ben Parker comes out to see what the befuddled young man standing on their porch wants. Peter is pleased to see that his Uncle Ben is still alive, however, Ben has no memory of Peter because he doesn’t exist in this reality. When Peter thinks of the ramifications, that his Uncle would still be alive if Spider-Man hadn’t existed they are struck by another earthquake.[5]

Peter suddenly finds himself sent back into the past again. This time he is s a child and his Uncle Ben is teaching Peter how to ride his bike. Peter remembers this moment and relives his attempt to ride without training wheels. He ends up crashing into Anna Watson as she is attempting to cross the street with a stack of boxes. Although he knocks Anna off her feet, he inadvertently saves her life because a speeding car zips by and would have hit her had Peter not run into her on his bike.[6] When Peter returns to the present, a confused Ben Parker suddenly begins remembering who Peter is. That’s when the Avengers arrive to contain him. Peter decides to try and get his allies to help him by revealing he’s actually Spider-Man. Unfortunately, this revelation does nothing to return the Avengers memories.

When they start detecting another chronal quake, Peter insists Iron Man fly him to the source in midtown. As they fly past the Daily Bugle building, Peter ends up getting shunted back into the past again. He is in the Daily Bugle and is being reamed out by J. Jonah Jameson. On his way out, he bumps into Betty Brant who is bringing coffee to Jonah because at this time, she is still his secretary.[7] When he returns to the present he is joined by the rest of the Avengers and Ben Parker, who insisted on coming along. Peter notices that the newspaper headline changed as J. Jonah Jameson is now being referred to as the mayor of New York again. Iron Man figures that Peter is the key to these chronal quakes and they need to get him to the epicenter in order to save lives.

Peter is taken to the epicenter of each time quake and he begins reliving more moments in his life and with each return trip the timeline begins correcting himself. Soon enough, people begin remembering who he is and the time quakes stop and everything is back to normal.[8] Everything except for Ben Parker, who still exists. Stranger still, he remembers both the timeline where Peter Parker doesn’t exist and the one where he does. They track down the final tremor back to Horizon Labs. There, Peter points out that everyone’s lives are better off without him. Ben tells Peter that he has done so much good as Spider-Man that it is worth the sacrifice and tells him that the world needs both Peter Parker and Spider-Man.

Peter rushes inside the lab and finds him reliving the moment where Grady Scraps is about to run his experiment. This time, instead of erasing Peter from existence, he is merged with his entire past correcting the damage done. Grady suddenly can’t remember what happens and Peter suggests that his newest invention is too dangerous. Remembering he left Ben Parker outside, Peter rushes out and is surprised to see Ben is still out there. Ben remembers everything and tells Peter is proud of him and gives him a hug. Suddenly there is another time quake, but this time its come to erase Ben Parker from existence. As he fades from existence, Ben tells Peter that this is for the best because Peter Parker is back in the world and the world is a better place for it. After Ben is gone, Grady comes out and asks Peter for help taking his invention apart. Peter says he is always happy to lend a hand and goes back inside.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Grady Scraps, Uncle Ben, Anna Watson, Harry Osborn, Aunt May, Gwen Stacy, Ben Urich, Mary Jane Watson, Flash Thompson, Wolverine, Luke Cage

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter has ended up in an alternate reality where he never existed. As I write this (October 2020), this reality has yet to be given an official reality number.

  2. Peter mentions how Grady’s last experiment with time travel almost led to the destruction of New York City. See Amazing Spider-Man #678-679.

  3. Peter mentions how Max Modell recently made Horizon Labs impervious to infiltration by Spider-Man. This happened in Amazing Spider-Man #679.1. However, if Peter doesn’t exist, then neither should those security measures. I guess you could chalk this to Peter being absent minded.

  4. This trip to the past predated the events Amazing Fantasy #15. Per the Sliding Timescale this would have occurred 13 years prior to the present day in this story. Since Peter is openly reacting based on his knowledge of the future this wouldn’t be the past of Earth-616 Peter Parker, but a divergent reality where young Peter is possessed by his future self. This reality also does not have its own reality number.

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5. Yo remember Uncle Ben? Killed in Amazing Fantasy #15.

6. Alternatively, this jaunt back in time would have been the past of Earth-616 since Peter doesn’t alter the course of history here.

7. Some facts about this moment:

  • J. Jonah Jameson was published for the Daily Bugle for years almost consistently from Amazing Spider-Man #1 to #546. In more recent times he was elected as mayor of New York in Amazing Spider-Man #592.

  • Betty Brant was a secretary for the Bugle on-and-off for years starting in Amazing Spider-Man #4. She later changed careers, becoming a reporter in Web of Spider-Man #91.

  • Presumably, this flashback takes place prior to Betty’s career choice, putting it as happening sometimes during “year eight”, or five years prior to the present day in this story.

8. One of the changes points out that instead of developing a cure for cancer, Norman Osborn is incarcerated. Osborn was jailed after a failed coup of Asgard in Siege #1-4.

Amazing Spider-Man #691

Amazing Spider-Man #691

Amazing Spider-Man #692

Amazing Spider-Man #692