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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Amazing Spider-Man (Digital) #9

Amazing Spider-Man (Digital) #9

The Private Life of Peter Parker Part Nine

While web-slinging across the city, Spider-Man gets a call from Norah Winters who tells Peter Parker that Teri Hillman is giving yet another press conference in response to the Spider-Girl’s demands that she give the proceeds of her merchandise to charity. Peter lands on a nearby rooftop to change back to his street clothes. Peter soon meets with Norah Winters at the Bleachers in Times Square and learns that Winters was asked personally to cover the press conference and asked Peter to be there as moral support.

Soon, Teri Hillman arrives to comment on the Spider-Girl’s recent statement and tells the media that she agrees with the girls 100%. She then tells the press that recently someone taught her that with great power comes great responsibility and as such she is making her donation to the United Children’s Charity with no strings attached, offering to double it in honor of the Spider-Girls. This pleases Peter as well as the Spider-Girls who are watching the press conference from home. Teri then reveals that all of the wheeling and dealing was done by her agent, Jimmy, to try and create as much publicity as possible and she then fires him on the spot. Norah is shocked that she’s actually going to have to write something nice about Teri Hillman after this.[1] Meanwhile, at the mayor’s office, J. Jonah Jameson is furious that another plan to capture Spider-Man has been foiled and he fires his assistant, Greg Lubeck.

The next day at Kearny High School, the three Spider-Girls are told that they have been invited to Meg Ridgeway’s birthday party. At first the trio are excited to finally be accepted but then become suspicious, wondering if this is some kind of ruse set up to embarrass them. However, at lunchtime, Meg Ridgeway approaches them (decked out in Hillman’s Spider-Girl clothing) and tells them that she has come in peace. Later at the FEAST Center, Peter invites the girls out to dinner to celebrate their victory, but they politely decline telling Peter that they have prior engagements. After their volunteer work is done for the day, the Spider-Girls then go shopping for make-up and outfits to wear at the party, unaware that their conference call is being listened in upon by the Anti-Spider-Man Squad. Learning the girl’s evening schedule and begin plotting their scheme to kidnap them.

Later that evening, Leila gets a phone call from a limo service, telling her that it has been ordered by Meg Ridgeway to bring her and her friends to the party. Not suspecting a thing, the three girls allow themselves to be picked up in this limo only to be gassed. They are then taken to a prop warehouse on the west side of Manhattan. When the girls wake up they are confronted by three men in masks who order them to contact Spider-Man to rescue them. However, the girls point out that they have never met Spider-Man before and have no way of contacting the hero. When the men threaten violence, Leila tells them that she can text Spider-Man and asks that they give back her phone. However, when they toss it at her, Leila fails to catch it and when it hits the ground the back panel pops open revealing that there is a spider-tracer concealed inside. Moments later, Spider-Man comes crashing through the window. While Spider-Man deals with two of the masked men the third — Captain Gannon — takes off his mask and tells Spider-Man that he is under arrest. However, the web-slinger refuses to surrender to police officers who are willing to kidnap teenagers to try and make a bust. While the girls struggle to get free, a desperate Captain Gannon puts a gun to Becky’s head and tells Spider-Man to surrender or he’ll blow her brains out.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Norah Winter, J. Jonah Jameson, Teri Hillman, Leila Goldberg, Becky, Emma Paley, Meg Ridgeway

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter quips that if Emma Frost could reform why not Teri Hillman. This is a reference to the fact that Emma Frost used to be the White Queen of the Hellfire Club. After years of fighting the X-Men, she eventually reformed in Uncanny X-Men #316.

Amazing Spider-Man (Digital) #8

Amazing Spider-Man (Digital) #8

Amazing Spider-Man (Digital) #10

Amazing Spider-Man (Digital) #10