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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers #5

Avengers #5

The Invasion of the Lava Men!

The Avengers are assessing the damage caused to their headquarters after their most recent battle with the Hulk.[1] They all agree that repairs need to be done and then part company to deal with their personal affairs. After Thor, Giant-Man, and the Wasp take off, Iron Man takes a moment to thank Captain America for agreeing to join the team.[2] Once Captain America and Rick Jones leave together, Tony Stark starts changing out of his armor so he can begin repair on the mansion he donated to the Avengers to operate out of.

A few days later, tests are being done on a new artillery computer at Stark Industries when, suddenly, the entire facility is rocked by an earthquake. When Tony Stark gets the call about what happened he is in the process of recharging the chest plate that keeps him alive. He tells his staff to not touch anything and he’ll be by as soon as possible.[2] At that same time, Giant-Man and the Wasp are conducting research on ants by observing them working in an anthill. Their work is interrupted when there is suddenly another earthquake. When Doctor Donald Blake reads about the strange earthquakes plaguing the area he decides that the Avengers should act. Going to the roof of his practice, Blake taps his walking stick on the ground, changing him into Thor. Not far away, Captain America is giving the members of the Teen Brigade combat training when Thor comes by to gather him. That’s when another earthquake hits, adding to the urgency of getting to the bottom of this crisis. The Avengers all meet up back at the mansion where Iron Man has pinpointed the source to somewhere in the Southwest, the same region that the Hulk operates in.

At that moment, at a military base, a strange green rok begins poking out of the ground. General Thaddeus Ross is concerned that this strange rock might be a threat to their nearby missile testing base. That’s when his daughter, Betty, arrives with Bruce Banner who is finally back after a long absence. General Ross briefly berates Banner for his unreliability before charging Bruce with figuring out what this strange rock is and why it’s growing larger as it continues to be pushed out of the ground by some unseen force.[4]

Little does anyone know is that this rock, dubbed the Living Rock, is being pushed to the surface by the Lava Men a race of beings that are made of molten rock. Their leader has instructed his people to push the Living Rock to the surface before it destroys their people. This is at the recommendation of their witch doctor, who has convinced their leader to use the rock to help conquer the surface world.[5] The only person against this move is Molto, who had been to the surface in the past and knows what the humans are capable of after his encounter with Thor.[6] The witch doctor calls Molto a coward and a liar and attacks him. The king orders the witch doctor to stop and says that the plan will continue.

Back on the surface, the Avengers arrive on the scene and are given space to work. Iron Man examines the Living Rock and determines that it is not radioactive. Then, using his repulsor beam, he digs a tunnel into the ground to see what is responsible for pushing it up to the surface. There he is ambushed by the Lava Men who attempt to melt his armor. Luckily he is saved by Thor and Captain America. Having encountered the Lava Men before, Thor orders Cap to take Iron Man to the surface while he deals with these creatures. Thor withstands the Lava Men’s attempts to burn him alive with molten lava. This frightens them into allowing an audience with their leader. Thor is shown how they are pushing the Living Rock to the surface and the leader of the Lava Men tells him how the rock came to be after an underground nuclear explosion. When they first found the Living Rock, it was small and when they attempted to destroy it, it caused a massive explosion. The leader ow warns Thor that if they hit it at its current size it will wipe out half of all life on Earth’s surface.

That’s when the witch doctor orders his people to attack Thor. The thunder god is joined by Captain America and Rick Jones. However, Captain America is quickly incapacitated by rock-hard rings made out of cinders. With his armor cooled down, Iron Man hurries back and holds off the Lava Men while Rick tries to free Cap. While on the surface, Giant-Man and the Wasp examine the Living Rock at ant-size and discover a point that can destroy the Living Rock without causing an extinction-level explosion provided it is hit with the right amount of force. Giant-Man deduces that Thor’s hammer is just the power they need and race down below to help the others. After Gaint-Man uses the rotor of the Avengers’ helicopter to blow the Lava Men away. This allows Iron Man to finally free Captain America. They then quickly find Thor and get him up to speed.

Meanwhile, Bruce Banner’s anxiety over the Living Rock triggers a transformation into the Hulk. Hearing the voices of the Avengers nearby, the gamma-spawned brute attacks the group. When Thor attempts to join that battle the witch doctor fires a mystical bolt at the thunder god. This triggers a transformation changing Thor back into Donald Blake. It also causes a cave-in separating Blake from the rest of the Avengers. The transformation also frightened the witch doctor who flees from the frail doctor. Without the power of Thor on their side, the other Avengers lure the Hulk outside and goad him into striking the Living Rock’s sweet spot, destroying the massive stone without wiping out half the world. Down below, Don Blake musters the strength to change back into Thor and warns the Lava Men against warring with the surface world again. Having seen the destruction of the Living Rock is enough to convince them and they retreat back into their subterranean domain.[7]

Thor then reunites with his fellow Avengers who are recovering from the battle but are happy to be alive. It’s then that they notice that the Hulk has gotten away. Meanwhile, Betty Ross realizes that Bruce Banner is missing as well and goes out to look for him. She finds him near the site where the Living Rock used to be and seeing his clothes in tatters assumed he encountered the Hulk. Moments later, Rick Jones returns from the Avengers’ helicopter with a message of a new threat that was relayed to him by the Teen Brigade.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Giant-Man, Wasp), Teen Brigade (Rick Jones), Lava Men (Jinku, Basallo, Molto), Jane Foster, Hulk, General Ross, Betty Ross

Continuity Notes

  1. The Avengers teamed-up with the Fantastic Four to battle the Hulk in Fantastic Four #25-26.

  2. Captain America joined the Avengers last issue.

  3. Stark mentions here that his chest plate prevents a piece of shrapnel from entering his heart and killing him. Tony has been in this condition since Tales of Suspense #39 when he stepped through a tripwire bomb. He will remain like this until a heart transplant in Iron Man #19.

  4. Bruce wonders what Ross would think if he knew that Banner was also the Hulk. He recounts the gamma bomb explosion that turned him into the Hulk and his recent encounters with the Avengers. See Incredible Hulk #1, Avengers #1-3, and Fantastic Four #25-26.

  5. The leader of the Lava Men and their witch doctor are not named here. Their leader is identified as Basallo in Thor #481. The witch doctor is identified as Jinku in Marvel Team-Up #26.

  6. Molto’s encounter with Thor happened in Journey into Mystery #97.

  7. The Avengers battle with the Lava Men is expanded upon in Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes #2.

Topical References

  • The Teen Brigade is depicted using ham radios to communicate. This should be considered a topical reference as this is no longer a teenage pastime. Per Avengers: The Origin #1-5, the Teen Brigade is now a team of hackers that communicate via the Internet.

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