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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers #235

Avengers #235

Havoc on the Homefront!

Avengers Mansion is undergoing repairs after a mysterious break-in.[1] As the Wasp oversees repairs, Captain America has to stop himself from telling her to ease off on the workers, reminding himself that she is the one in charge of the Avengers right now. Instead he goes to check on the Scarlet Witch who is standing vigil over the unconscious body of her husband, the Vision.[2] His assurances that the Vision will pull through gives Wanda new hope for her husband’s full recovery. Touring headquarters, Cap can’t help but think about all the losses the team has suffered recently. On top of Wanda’s troubles,[3] the team also lost Hank Pym who retired,[4] Iron Man to alcoholism,[5] and now Thor is away on a personal mission.[6] Without the thunder god’s added muscle, Cap hopes he’s not gone for very long. He then notices that Starfox is late for their training session.

This is because Eros is in Central Park having a romantic picnic with a woman he just met. Realizing the time, he abruptly leaves to make his training session. Captain America expresses his disappointment and Starfox apologizes for letting his pleasure get in the way of Avengers duty. Realizing that Tony Stark was possibly pushed back into the bottle from all the pressure in his life, Cap decides he is being too stern, accepts Eros’ apology, and decides to take a gentler approach moving forward.

Elsewhere in the city, She-Hulk is on a run and when a driver tries to cut her off at the crosswalk she puts her fist through the hood of their car. The driver is furious and She-Hulk is about to rough him up when Spider-Man intervenes and convinces the man that picking a fight with the She-Hulk isn’t a smart idea given what she just did to his car. When cooler heads prevail, Spider-Man catches up with She-Hulk and learns that she is having trouble finding an apartment since relocating from Los Angeles to New York.[7] When she leaves to continue her run, she casually mentions that the Avengers receive a generous stipend for their work. In desperate need of money, Spider-Man can’t believe he passed up an invitation to join the team when Thor came to him with an offer recently.[8]

Meanwhile, at a maximum security prison in Vermont, the staff question the Wizard about what he knows about his former cellmate, Plant-Man, who recently escaped prison.[9] When they do a full body x-ray on the Wizard, they discover that the villain somehow doesn’t have a skeleton. That’s when the Wizard tries to make a daring escape and is gunned down by the guards. The bullet wounds reveal nothing but wood underneath his skin, revealing that this is another one of Plant-Man’s simuloids and that the real Wizard must have escaped at the same time.

The real Wizard had long since returned to his home on Long Island, the last place he figured the authorities would come to look for him.[10] His computer then alerts him to the fact that his simuloid was discovered. Anticipating the authorities to come looking for him, the Wizard then gets down to preparing suitable defenses.

News of the Wizard’s escape reaches Raymond Sikorsky, the Avengers new liaison at the National Security Agency.[11] After Sikorski gives orders to the Avengers, Captain America takes the lead on briefing the team on the locations of the Wizard’s various hideouts. During the brief, Cap once again struggles with overstepping the Wasp’s authority when she suggests sending a team to check out the Wizard’s old home. She also insists that the Scarlet Witch accompany that team, even though Wanda wishes to stay behind to be with her husband.

Soon, a team consisting of Captain America, She-Hulk, and the Scarlet Witch arrive at the Wizard’s Long Island mansion. Inside they are taken aback by the technological and engineering marvels of the building before splitting up to search for the fugitive. Watching from a hidden control room, the Wizard then begins activating the various traps he set for possible intruders. For the She-Hulk, she finds herself trapped in an “infinite hallway”, where whenever she tries to exit the hall from the opposite doorway she finds herself transported back to the main entrance. Elsewhere, Captain America finds himself trapped in an anti-gravity room armed with a battery of laser cannons. Lastly, the Scarlet Witch finds herself trapped in a room that generates a pocket of non-causality in order to keep her disorientated and negate her hex powers.

Unfortunately for the Wizard, the Avengers eventually use deductive reasoning to get out of each of the traps. She-Hulk quickly realizes that if she can’t leave the hall through any of the doors, she tries ripping a hole through the wall, allowing her to get free. Meanwhile, Captain America uses momentum to evade the laser blasts and, after securing one of the weapons, blasts one of the unshielded gun-ports to create a way out. Lastly, the Scarlet Witch eventually ends up falling to the floor where she can sense that the non-causality field is the weakest. Channeling her hex power into the floor, she causes the Wizard’s control panel to overload and explode.[12] When the Wizard tries to escape, the Avengers quickly bar his path. When the villain threatens to activate a nuclear bomb planted below his home, Captain America reveals that he disarmed the detonator while making his way through an utility tunnel.

After the Wizard is turned over to the authorities, Captain America and the others return to the mansion and report to their success to the Wasp. While Captain America has gained a new appreciation for the Wasp’s leadership style, Wanda has come to realize that time away from her husband to help on an Avengers mission was just what she needed to get her mind off her worries. She tells this to Captain Marvel when she relieves her from watching the Vision, and Marvel figures that this was exactly why the Wasp sent Wanda on the mission to begin with.

Recurring Characters

Avengers (Captain America, Wasp, Scarlet Witch, Vision, She-Hulk, Starfox, Captain Marvel), Wizard, Spider-Man, Plantman, Raymond Sikorsky

Continuity Notes

  1. Avengers Mansion was wrecked when the Shi’ar kidnapped Reed Richards to stand trial for allowing Galactus to live. See Fantastic Four #’s 242-244, 257, and 261-262 for all the gory details.

  2. The Vision was knocked into a coma during the Avengers battle with Annihilus in Avengers #233. He will remain in this state until issue #238 and regain full mobility by issue #242.

  3. Captain America states that Wanda joined the Avengers not long after he did. Cap was the first new recruit onto the team in Avengers #4, while Wanda joined the group when they underwent their first major roster change in issue #16. The Vision joined in issue #58. The couple had been long standing Avengers until they took a leave of absence together in Avengers #211. They came back on as reservists in issue #233 and we all know how well that went.

  4. Hank Pym was a founder of the Avengers and was on and off the team for years. Most recently, rejoined the team in issue #211 and he was kicked out due to misconduct in Avengers #213. He was then tossed through the wringer after being framed for a crime in issue #217. After clearing his name in Avengers #228-230, he decided to retire from heroics and focus entirely on scientific research.

  5. Iron Man had been clean and sober since Iron Man #128, but fell off the wagon again in issue #167 of that series leading to Jim Rhodes taking over as Iron Man in issue #170. Captain America learned of Tony’s downward spiral in Avengers #231-232 when Iron Man abruptly resigned. Prior to this story, Cap tried to help Tony in Iron Man #172, but it didn’t work.

  6. Thor’s absence is because he is searching for his long-lost lover Jane Foster. See Thor #334-336.

  7. Spider-Man mentions the last time he saw the She-Hulk, that was in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #16, when the Avengers met and recruited Captain Marvel onto the team.

  8. Thor came to Spider-Man with an offer to join the Avengers in issue #221, at the time the web-slinger declined stating that he wasn’t much of a team player.

  9. Plant-Man used his plant-based simuloids to create duplicates of himself and the Wizard to cover their escape circa Avengers #227. Plant-Man then went on to try and hold the President of the United States ransom and got captured, that happened in Avengers #231-232.

  10. This house was last seen way back when the Wizard first appeared in Strange Tales #102, a pretty impressive call-back. He mentions here that he re-grew his mustache and beard, this is to explain why the Wizard was cleanshaven when he was seen in issue #232 for those that care about those sorts of things.

  11. Here it is stated that Henry Gyrich is unavailable due to a secret assignment. Gyrich had been the Avengers NSA liaison since Avengers #168. This secret assignment is Project: Wideawake, the governments efforts to investigate the growing mutant “problem” of the time. It was founded in New Mutants #1.

  12. The Scarlet Witch’s hex abilities are referred to as a mutant power here. However, it turns out that she is not actually a mutant. It is later revealed, in Uncanny Avengers (vol. 2) #4, that Wanda was experimented upon by the High Evolutionary. To cover up his work, he made it so all future genetic testing would have her register as a mutant.

Topical References

  • She-Hulk is depicted listening to music with a portable tape player that connects to headphones using a wire. This should be considered topical since tape players are obsolete and wired headphones are being quickly replaced with the wireless variety.

  • Also in this story, it is stated that the Avengers get a $1000 stipend for their work. This should be considered a topical reference due to inflation. $1000 was a lot of money in 1983, not so much now. Adjusting for inflation, the amount would be worth about $2700 in 2021 money.

Avengers #234

Avengers #234

Avengers #236

Avengers #236