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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

X-Men vs. the Avengers #1

X-Men vs. the Avengers #1

Justice for All!

The Avengers have scrambled to a shopping center in Ohio that is imperiled by falling meteors. As Captain America co-ordinates the authorities, Doctor Druid rushes into a busy department store and uses his hypnotic power to make everyone evacuate in an orderly fashion. Captain Marvel flies into the upper atmosphere to destroy as many of the meteors as possible with her energy powers. Thor lends a hand, smashing many of the larger objects with his enchanted hammer Mjolnir. Lastly, the Black Knight and She-Hulk use a Quinjet to shatter the meteors that slip by. However, they are struck by one of the falling rocks and are forced to make an emergency landing. With the disaster over, the Black Knight then shows why the meteor was able to strike the Quinjet: The rocks are magnetized. This isn’t the only part of the world that was threatened by the meteors, the largest was heading for an unpopulated area in Cambodia. An agent for the NSA congratulates the Avengers on a job well done and hopes their counterparts in Russia and China can do just as good a job.

Somewhere, in Russia, a switching station malfunction has caused a train derailment, spelling flammable liquids all over the yard. Answering to the crisis are the Soviet Super-Soldiers — Darkstar, Vanguard, Ursa Major, and the Titanium Man — who quickly contain the disaster. They are joined by the Crimson Dynamo, which the team — particularly the Titanium Man’s pilot, the Gremlin — distrust due to his association with Russian intelligence. The Dynamo explains that the malfunction was due to an electromagnetic pulse in the upper atmosphere that caused the meteor shower and has come to recruit the Soviet Super-Soldiers to investigate and avenge their country of this great wrong. They decide to go along, despite their misgivings.

Meanwhile, on the Atlantic coast of America, the X-Men are enjoying some downtime. Everyone is having a good time except for Alex Summers, aka Havok, who is wondering why he rejoined the team because the team is almost unrecognizable since his previous tenure on the group and he feels out of place among strangers.[1] That’s when their TV picks up a report of the Avengers recent activities and, hearing about Thor makes Storm long for her long lost powers.[2] Magneto also finds the report interesting and heads back to the X-Men’s Blackbird to do some scans. It confirms that the meteor shower is connected to his criminal past and he flies off to intercept the meteors falling toward Cambodia. This is noticed by Wolverine who calls the rest of the team back to the Blackbird. There, they discover that the meteors were from Magneto’s old space station, Asteroid M, that had been destroyed some time ago and that its remains are finally being pulled into Earth’s atmosphere.[3] Even though Magneto has claimed to reform, the X-Men aren’t fully ready to trust him yet and decide to follow after him to see what he is up to.

At that moment, at Avengers headquarters on Hydrobase, the team has a meeting about the meteor fall as well. They have also learned that these are the remains of Asteroid M and that the United States and Russian governments allowed the information to leak out in the hopes of drawing out Magneto. The Russians in particular are interested in apprehending the former mutant terrorist so they can execute him for crimes committed on Russian soil. The Avengers are somewhat uneasy about this assassination plot but also recount the many terrorist acts Magneto has committed over the years, particularly the sinking of a Russian submarine and creating an active volcano in the middle of the Russian city of Varykino, acts that claimed many lives.[4] The world governments are particularly eager to recapture Magneto since he skipped out on his trail in front of the World Court. Captain America likens Magneto’s escape to the world being denied bringing Adolf Hitler to trail during World War II, and suggests that they capture him so justice can be served.[5]

Later, in Cambodia, Magneto is searching for the remains of his former satellite. In the Kulen Hills he detects that the debris is some 50 kilometers away. Here he is ambushed by the Avengers who have come to arrest him. Before the Master of Magnetism can resist, Doctor Druid incapacitates him with his mental power. However, before the Black Knight can slip shackles onto Magneto, the rest of the X-Men arrive to save him. This leads to a tense stand-off between the two groups when suddenly, Wolverine’s enhanced sense of smell detects someone coming. This is the Soviet Super-Soldiers who have also come to apprehend Magneto. All three groups refuse to backdown from their differing goals and prepare for battle.

Recurring Characters

X-Men (Storm, Wolverine, Magneto, Rogue, Dazzler, Havok), Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Black Knight, Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, Doctor Druid), Soviet Super-Soldiers (Crimson Dynamo, Titanium Man, Darkstar, Vanguard, Ursa Major)

Continuity Notes

  1. Havok recounts his past history on the X-Men and notes the absence of some former members:

    • Havok first started associating with the X-Men due to the fact that his brother Cyclops was a leader of the team back in X-Men #54. However, he did not join the team proper until X-Men #65. However, he left the team shortly thereafter in X-Men #94 after Professor X recruited a new team. He had just recently rejoined the team in Uncanny X-Men #219.

    • His brother, Cyclops was a founding member of the X-Men way back in X-Men #1. He was a mainstay on the team for years. Cyclops was forced to resign after Storm beat him in a one-on-one fight for leadership of the X-Men in Uncanny X-Men #201. At the time of this story, he is now the leader of X-Factor, another team comprised of the original X-Men, starting in X-Factor #1.

    • He also misses Lorna, aka Lorna Dane, aka Polaris. Lorna had joined the X-Men in X-Men #60. She and Havok soon fell in love and she left the team with him in Giant-Size X-Men #1. At the time of this story she has been possessed by the Marauder known as Malice in Uncanny X-Men #219, a condition that will remain until Malice is exorcised from Lorna’s body in Uncanny X-Men #250.

    • He is also troubled that the X-Men’s greatest enemy — Magneto — is now a member of the team. This happened in Uncanny X-Men #200, when a mortally wounded Professor X had to leave Earth in order to save his own life. He convinced Magneto to change his ways and join the X-Men. This will remain the status quo until Uncanny X-Men #253, when Magneto reverts back to his old ways.

  2. Storm’s powers were negated by a weapon that can neutralize mutant powers in Uncanny X-Men #185. She will remain powerless until they are restored in issue #226 of that series.

  3. Asteroid M was rendered inoperative when the alien known as Warlock slammed through the space station on his descent to planet Earth, as per New Mutants #21.

  4. The Avengers recount many of Magneto’s past exploits in the past during his war against humanity, they are:

    • Magneto’s first attack on the Cape Citadel missile base from way back in X-Men #1.

    • How the Master of Magnetism once took control of the island nation of Santo Marco and turned it into a dictatorship before being ousted by the X-Men. See X-Men #4.

    • Thor recounts the time that Magneto sought him out thinking the thunder god was a mutant. This happened in Journey into Mystery #109.

    • She-Hulk recounts how Magneto sidestepped the law in the past due to the fact that he was briefly reduced to infancy and then restored to adulthood as a “new man”. Magneto was de-aged by Alpha the Ultimate Mutant in Defenders #16. Magneto was restored to his relative prime by the Shi’ar spy Eric the Red in X-Men #104.

    • Captain America recounts how he fought Magneto not long after he was restored to adulthood. This happened in Captain America Annual #4.

    • They also mention how Magneto once attacked aerospace facilities in Australia and New Zealand. This was in X-Men #112-113.

    • Magneto later sunk the Leningrad, a Russian submarine, and created a volcano in Varykino in Uncanny X-Men #150.

    • Magneto’s trail happened in Uncanny X-Men #200.

  5. In the Marvel Universe, Adolf Hitler was immolated in his bunker by the android Human Torch, as seen in Young Men #24.

Topical References

  • The department store imperiled by meteors is depicted as a KMart. This should be considered a topical reference as this is a real world business, particularly considering the K-Mart has been in decline in recent years. It only has 10 stores left in the continental United States as I write this in March 2022.

  • In this story the country of Cambodia is referred to as Kampuchea. This isn’t necessarily a topical reference as that is the name in which the country is referred to in eastern societies. Cambodia is the commonly used name in the west.

  • Russia is referred to the Soviet Union and their intelligence service the KGB among other Cold War era anachronisms. These should all be considered topical references as the USSR dissolved in 1991.

  • Dazzler is singing lyrics to “Dancing on the Ceiling” by Lionel Richie. This should be considered topical as this song had come out around the time this issue was published and the singing mutant was commentating on contemporary music.

  • The X-Men are depicted as having a portable CRT television that uses an antenna to pick up signals. This should be considered topical as this technology is now obsolete.

  • The X-Men’s jet is identified as a SR-71 Blackbird. This should be considered topical as the SR-71 was retired from use in 1998.

Wonder Man #1

Wonder Man #1

X-Men vs. the Avengers #2

X-Men vs. the Avengers #2