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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Black Widow #2

Black Widow #2

Itsy-Bitsy Spider Part 2 of 3: Ingenue

The Black Widow, aka Natasha Romanov, has been hired by both American and Russian officials to recover a bio-weapon that is being developed in the Middle Eastern nation of Rhapastan. In doing so, she discovered that the Red Room has activated a new Black Widow named Yelena Belova, who is determined to surpass Natasha as the greatest Black Widow.

Securing the bio-weapon and fleeing the military base, Natasha stopped in the middle of the desert to read a letter mailed to her by a Doctor Sullivan. It is here she is ambushed by Belova, who seeks to take the bioweapon for her handlers. In the ensuing scuffle, Natasha turns off the parking break in the truck, causing it to rollover the edge of a cliff and into the water below. This separates the two Widows, allowing Natasha to get to a inflatable raft that she stashed at that location and escape. As Yelena watches Natasha go, she spots the letter floating in the water. Reading it, the letter is a birthday greeting from Doctor Bill Sullivan and a reminder that Natasha is due for her annual check-up.

Later, Natasha calls her friend Matt Murdock, aka Daredevil, to tell him everything that has happened. In light of the new Black Widow, Natasha asks Matt if she is unique and who he thinks she is. Matt goes over all her positive qualities before asking what this is all about. That’s when Natasha gets another call and has to let Matt go.

In reality, she ended the call because she has been hiding out in Dideir Ines’ lab and the scientist has just returned. Getting the drop on Ines, Natasha forces him to give her a demonstration of the bio-weapon. Injecting it into a mouse, Romanov watches in horror as the roden goes feral and savagely kills another mouse before itself suddenly withers and dies. Natasha is deeply disturbed by this weapon and refuses to allow it to fall into the hands of any nation and decides that from here on out, she is operating independently. Moments later, Yelena Belova arrives but by the time she does both Natasha and Ines are long gone.

At the same time, both American and Russian officials are becoming annoyed with the fact that the Black Widow has not reported back in, as both governments are eager to get their hands on the bio-weapon.

Meanwhile, the Black Widow has relocated Dideir Ines to a private lab in Zurich. There she hands him a gun and gives him an option. Either shoot himself in the head, or spend the rest of his life trying to develop an antidote for the bio-weapon. Not wanting to end his own life, Ines chooses the latter option and gets down to work.

Back in Rhapastan, General Khan returns to base and learns how the Black Widow attempted to steal the bio-weapon and how she was blown up trying to escape and the weapon was destroyed. Khan points out that if this was true, then the weapon would have been unleashed upon the troops if it was blown up. Since that’s not the case, then the Black Widow tricked them all and orders his troops to find her and the weapon.

While in Moscow, a Russian operative named Yuri Stalyenko gets a call from the Black Widow. She tries to convince him to call in Yelena Belova, as her inexperience in the field is going to get her hurt. Yuri refuses to do any such thing and has assassins dispatched to her location. However, when they open fire on the phone booth she is calling from, Natasha is already long gone. She then tracks down Yelena to a nearby pier and gets the drop on her. Natasha tries to convince Yelena to give up being a Black Widow, explaining how she was once a ballerina before she was roped into spycraft by her late husband, Alexi.[1] She talks about how she lost more and more of herself over the years until she has no identity left, and thinks like her own birthday are ignored and forgotten.[2]

Suddenly, Natasha is shot in the back and falls into Yelena’s arms. The young spy looks over her shoulder and sees a team of SHIELD assassins. She then looks back at Natasha’s seemingly dead body and wishes her a happy birthday.

Recurring Characters

Black Widow (Romanov), Black Widow (Belova), Daredevil, Yuri Stalyenko, Dideir Ines, SHIELD

Continuity Notes

  1. At the time of this story, Natasha believes that she was once a ballerina in the Bolshoi theater. This was first referenced in Solo Avengers #7. However, as we’ll learn in Black Widow: Deadly Origin #2, Natasha was given a number of false memory implants to make her a more effective spy. Alexi Shostakov and Natasha were married for years. As the first Red Guardian of the modern age, he seemingly died in battle with the Avengers in Avengers #43-44. However, he is later revealed to be alive and well and will resurface again in Daredevil (vol. 2) #64.

  2. Natasha’s actual age at the time of this story is hard to pin down. There are different accounts around when she was born. One account in Black Widow: Deadly Origin #4 depicts her as an infant in 1928. She has survived all these years due to the Black Widow Program slowing her aging process per Black Widow (vol. 3) #6. Due to the Sliding Timescale, Natasha’s actual age will always be in a constant state of change as the Modern Age is pushed forward in time, much in the same way as it does to Captain America.

Topical References

  • Natasha is depicted as having a flip phone that were common when this comic was published in 1999 when this story was published. This should be considered a topical reference. While these phones still exist, they are a niche market compared to smart phones that dominate the market. These types of phones are regularly used by low-level criminals as they can be easily obtained and are more anonymous. As such, it’s use here could be considered topical unless you think that Natasha is using a burner phone like your friendly neighborhood pot dealer.

Translations

This story includes a bunch of dialogue in Russian that is not translated. They include:

  • pachyemoo on nye znayet? = why doesn't he know?

  • Da = Yes

  • Spaséeba = thank you

  • Rooskaya = Russian

Black Widow #1

Black Widow #1

Black Widow #3

Black Widow #3