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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs #1

Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs #1

High Heat

As Captain America breaks up a drug operation he is unaware that his actions are being observed by the Tzin, an alien race considering an invasion of the planet Earth. They see the human race as a strong willed species that will fight against oppression. However, like other races they have subjugated in the past, the Tzin note that humans are susceptible to drug addiction and that this flaw could be used to cow the entire planet into submission.

The two Tzin masterminds decide to put it to the test by singling out four special individuals that they will tempt with drugs. If they can addict these strong willed individuals it will decide if they wish to invade the Earth or not.

Some time later, in Columbus, Ohio, Keith Wilson has become concerned about one of his best friend Mitch Baskin. Mitch is a straight A student and the star pitcher on the school baseball team. Recently, Mitch hasn’t been himself lately and his erratic behavior and fatigue have been affecting both his grade and her performance on the field. Keith has grown concern and, as a member of the Teen Brigade, decides to contact Captain America to ask for help. He knows that this isn’t a major emergency, but Keith doesn’t know who to turn to. The message is received by Captain America and he is curious enough to check it out.

Later that night, Mitch Baskin is waiting impatiently at a street corner stressing out about tomorrow’s big game as everyone is counting on him. Finally, a dealer named Harry arrives to give Mitch more drugs. When Baskin starts having second thoughts about doing more drugs, Harry reminds him of all the pressure he’s under to do his best and how the drugs will take the edge off and sooner or later he’ll be famous and playing in the big leagues. Mitch buys this load of bullshit lock stock and barrel and doesn’t find it odd when Harry suddenly disappears when his head was turned.

The next day, Steve Rogers is in the crowd watching the big game. When Mitch goes up to pitch his fast ball is off and he ends up hitting the batter in the head, knocking him to the ground. As people rush to his aid, Steve slips away to change into Captain America. Taking control of the situation, Cap spots a passing police car and tosses his shield at it to get the cop’s attention. Mitch apologizes for causing the accident and says that he wasn’t thinking straight. When Cap asks if Mitch had been doing drugs, another player gets upset and starts scolding the boy and needs to be held back. Soon an ambulance comes to pick up the injured player.

As it pulls away, Captain America speaks with Keith, Mitch’s parents and his coach. They all blame themselves for not doing more. As Cap tells them about organizations they can contact for Mitch to get help, they head into the school to check on him. They had left Mitch in the coach’s office, but when they arrive they see that he had climbed out the window while everyone else was outside.

Mitch is fleeing town on foot, thinking his entire life is ruined because of what happened. He ends up running into Harry who tries to offer him more drugs. Blaming the dealer for his problems, Mitch hits Harry in the face, shattering it. Mitch is horrified to discover that his drug dealer is actually an alien and flees in terror. Around the corner he runs into players from the other baseball team who are out looking for him to get revenge and beat on him with baseball bats. Luckily, Captain America arrives before Mitch is seriously hurt and sends the other kids packing. Rather than giving Mitch a lecture on drugs — which the boy was expecting — Cap instead tells him that his friends and family are there to support him. He points out that everyone feels pressure from the outside world and nobody is happy all the time, and if anyone was they wouldn’t be normal. This gives Mitch a lot to thing about and he decides to take responsibility for what he had done. He was the one who got hooked on drugs, so he’s going to be the one to kick the habit.

As Mitch heads for home, Cap figures the boy had learned his lesson but thinks his story about alien drug dealers is pretty far fetched. That is until he happens upon “Harry’s” shattered disguise, convincing him that there is an air of truth to his story.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Tzin

Topical References

  • All drug statistics made in this story were relative to the year this comic book was originally published. Any specifics should be considered topical.

  • When contacting Captain America, Keith Wilson jokingly states that his emergency isn’t “Doctor Doom knocking over a 7-11”. 7-Eleven is a chain of convenience stores that have existed since 1927. This should be considered topical as this is a real world buisness.

  • Keith is depicted as having a computer with a monochrome CRT monitor. This should be considered topical as this is now an obsolete technology.

  • When Cap is regurgitating drug facts (as they do in these kind of comics) he also makes reference a phone number 1-800-622-HELP. This is the toll free number for Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services, an federal organization in the United States that assists people with addictions and mental health issues. This would become a topical reference in the event that the number is either retired or changed.

The Strange History of a Freebie Comic That Nobody Cares About

Promotional or PSA comic books were quite common in the 80s and 90s. In a lot of cases, these stories were typically not considered part of continuity in the Prime Marvel Universe. Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs is a bit of an odd one. Originally printed in 1990, It was produced in cooperation with the FBI. It’s written the legendary Peter David. It also ends on a cliff hanger. The title was reprinted multiple times with other sponsors. Alternate versions were published with other sponsors such as the New York State Association of Life Underwriters (read: life insurance), and various regional grocery chains throughout 1990 and 1992.

The follow up book didn’t come out until 1993, by an entirely different creative team. It goes off in its own direction, ignoring a lot of the plot beats of the original tale. It also had a bunch of publications. Later in 1994, Marvel would bundle both stories together with a brand new cover and packing it with ads.

Which raises the question: Is this book part of Earth-616 continuity? Well for the longest time nobody really cared. However, when Marvel published the Captain America: America’s Avenger handbook in 2011 it contained a profile for the Tzin, the aliens featured in both these stories. It confirms that the events of these two “Say No to Drugs” comics did indeed happen on Earth-616. I hope you can rest easy at night now that this burning mystery has been answered.

Black Knight (vol. 2) #4

Black Knight (vol. 2) #4

Captain America Goes to War Against Drugs #2