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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

West Coast Avengers Annual #2

West Coast Avengers Annual #2

Death and Texas!

The East and West Coast Avengers have met up in Houston, Texas for another baseball game between the two teams. They are at the bottom of the ninth with the game and the next pitch to be thrown by Wonder Man to decide the game. With Thor stepping up to the plate, Hawkeye hopes this game doesn’t get interrupted like the last one.[1] Watching from the stand are two potential recruits to the west coast team, La Espirita and Moon Knight. While Bonita has decided not to join, Moon Knight wants to become an Avenger.

The final pitch is hit out of the park, and seconds later, the Silver Surfer comes crashing through the class enclosed dome. Although the Silver Surfer just recently left the Earth and had no intentions to return. However, he learned of a threat to the Avengers by the Champion, a member of the Elders of the Universe and came to warn them.[2] That’s when the west coast team notices that their eastern counterparts were all suddenly struck dead.

Hawkeye can’t believe that so many friends were snuffed out so easily and the surviving Avengers all suspect that this is not the Silver Surfer, but an impostor. The Surfer confirms his identity by repeating something he once said to Hawkeye a few years earlier — something nobody else but those present would know.[3] The alien then explains that the Elders of the Universe are a collection of the oldest living beings in the cosmos, each the last survivors of their races who have all developed a specific obsession that governs their lives. Moon Knight interjects recalling how they all met one such elder, the Grandmaster, during the Contest of Champions, noting that he sacrificed his life to bring the Collector back from the dead.[4] The Surfer explains that it is the Grandmaster who is behind all of this, trying to find a way to resurrect himself from the dead. Agreeing that if the Grandmaster can cheat death, the east coast team could as well.

Boarding a Quinjet the West Coast Avengers are ferried to the Collector’s ship in deep space. There, they confront him over the Grandmaster’s scheme. The Collector tells them that the Grandmaster will accomplish his resurrection by offering up the souls of the Avengers. He notes that the west coast team was spared from this fate because the Grandmaster was unaware that the team had split in two and so his death bolt only killed the eastern team. The Collector then tells them that the only way they can save the souls of their friends is by killing themselves and liberating them from the afterlife. To facilitate this, the Collector offers the most powerful poison in the universe to drink. Everyone agrees that this is the only way to save the other Avengers and drink from the poison. It is so powerful it even kills seemingly immortal beings like the Silver Surfer and Wonder Man.[5]

Surprisingly, the poison has no effect on La Espirita, who believes that she is protected by God himself.[6] The Collector wants to make her part of his collection, but she refuses to be kept prisoner and threatens to burn his other belongings if he refuses to let her go when he friends return.

Meanwhile, in the afterlife, the east coast team appears before the Grandmaster. He tells the Avengers that they have been killed by the Collector and that they are being sacrificed to Death in exchange for immortality, as his fellow Elder is scared of his own mortality. He warns that the west coast team has been manipulated into helping the Collector and that they must be stopped.

When the West Coast Avengers and the Silver Surfer arrive on the scene, the east coast team refuses to listen to what their comrades are saying, leading a fight between the two teams. While each member pairs off against the opponent, the Silver Surfer takes off to find Death and try and put an end to this madness.

Iron Man squares off against Captain Marvel. Marvel’s energy powers give her an edge over Iron Man, but ultimately the veteran Avenger defeats her by absorbing her energy and redirecting it back at her.[7] Nearby, Mockingbird decides to go up against Captain America, figuring her SHIELD training will give her an edge against the Living Legend of World War II.[8] Although they are equally matched in combat, Captain America proves to be more clever when he lures Mockingbird into a dense thicket of thorny vines. This causes her long sleeves to get caught on the thorns allowing for an easy defeat.

Meanwhile, the Silver Surfer finds Death and tries to petition her to stop what’s going on and restore the Avengers to life. However, when Death turns to face him what he sees within her dark shroud causes him to scream.

Back on the battlefield, Hank Pym goes toe-to-toe with his ex-wife, the Wasp. Hank has recently found new purpose in his life and believes that he can best Janet in battle since he taught her everything she knows. The Wasp tries to get the edge buy shrinking to wasp size and zap Hank with her bio-stings. However, Hank unleashes a swarm of mini-drones to deal with her. She tricks the drones into blasting Hank in the face causing him to fall to the ground. However, Pym is only playing possum, as his weapons cannot harm him, and when Janet gets close enough, he traps her in a sphere filled with knockout gas.

Concurrently, Wonder Man decides to match his strength against Thor to finally determine who is the stronger of the two. Indeed, they find out that they are equally matched in the strength department, but Thor ultimately wins by using Mjolnir — his enchanted hammer — to summon the full fury of the storm and unleashing it on his opponent. As this is happening, Tigra goes up against Doctor Druid. At first, she finds the mystic laughably out matched since all he seems to be able to do is conjure up illusions. This is only to lull Tigra into a sense of false security until Druid can use his mental powers to knock down a bolder on her tail, pinning her in place long enough for him to hypnotize the cat-woman.

Not far away, the Black Knight decides to match his Ebony Blade against Moon Knight’s ancient Egyptian weapons.[10][11] The enchanted sword is easily able to smash and cut through Moon Knight’s weapons. Seeing that weapons won’t win this fight, Moon Knight appears to impale himself on the Knight’s blade. In reality, he used his cloak to hide the fact that he actually tucked the blade under his arm. Horrified by the possibility that the blood curse on his blade will be reawakened, the Black Knight is knocked out with a sucker punch from his opponent. Lastly, Hawkeye finds himself going up against the She-Hulk. Clint figures he is out of his depth, especially when Jennifer rips away his quiver and breaks his bow in half. Knocking her into a nearby lake, Hawkeye fashions a makeshift bow and arrows out of some reeds. When She-Hulk finally comes up for air, Hawkeye fires a knock-out gas arrow, causing her to breath in a health amount and knock herself out.

In the end, the Avengers return to the Grandmaster to tally their score and find out which team the victor is. It turns out to be a four-to-three victory for the West Coast Avengers. With the battle now over, Death appears before them and is suddenly bound in bands of energy. The Grandmaster gloats that everything has gone according to his master plan and now he has won control of the entire universe.

… This story Avengers Annual #16.

Recurring Characters

West Coast Avengers (Hawkeye, Mockingbird, Iron Man, Hank Pym, Wonder Man, Tigra, Moon Knight), Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Wasp, Black Knight, Captain Marvel, She-Hulk, Doctor Druid), Silver Surfer, Grandmaster, Death, Collector

Continuity Notes

  1. Their first baseball game was interrupted when the government attempted to arrest both teams based on false accusations of their former teammate, Quicksilver, in Avengers Annual #15 and West Coast Avengers Annual #1.

  2. At the time of this story, the Silver Surfer had just freed himself from exile on Earth after he was banished there for betraying his master Galactus in Fantastic Four #50. See Silver Surfer (vol. 3) #1. Norrin Radd mentions he came here after taking care of some personal business, namely visiting his long lost lover, Shalla-Bal in issue #2 of that series.

  3. The quote in question comes from Defenders #8.

  4. The Collector was killed by Korvac in Avengers #174. In Contest of Champions #1-3, the Grandmaster challenged Death itself to bring his “brother” back from the dead. The contest ended with the Grandmaster giving up his own life so the Collector could live again.

  5. Wonder Man points out that he cheated death before. He was in a death-like coma from Avengers #9 to 151.

  6. Bonita got her powers from the flaming meteor that crashed in front of her in the New Mexico desert, as explained in West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #4. She believes her powers were ordained by God himself. However, she’ll discover that it was actually a mistake and this “divine” power source was actually improperly disposed toxic waste from an alien civilization. See Avengers Spotlight #24.

  7. Iron Man has a passing thought about his recent struggles with alcoholism. Tony fell off the wagon in Iron Man #167 and continued on a downward spiral until he almost died in issue #182 of that series. After cleaning up and getting his life back on track, he became Iron Man again in Iron Man #200.

  8. Here, Bobbi recounts how her husband — Hawkeye — used to butt heads with Cap all the time when he first joined the group. This started in Avengers #16. Clint didn’t think Cap was a suitable leader but eventually grew to respect him over time.

  9. Hank Pym suffered a series of set back and losses, including a divorce, getting kicked out of the Avengers, being framed, retiring from heroics, losing his “son” Ultron, and being dumped by Tigra, Hank Pym was about ready to end it all in issue #17. See also Avengers #213, 217, 227-230, and West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #7 and 16. He was encouraged by La Espirita to find a new purpose in life. He decided to become a scientific adventurer in West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #21.

  10. The Black Knight mentions how he recently had the blood curse on his blade removed. That happened in Doctor Strange (vol. 2) #68, but will be broken again in Avengers #294.

  11. Moon Knight recounts how his ancient weapons were actually created by Hawkeye during a trip through time, as seen in West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #23. Centuries later they were given to Moon Knight by the Priests of Khonshu in Moon Knight (vol. 2) #1.

Topical References

  • This story is stated as taking taking place at the Houston Astrodome. This should be considered a topical reference as the facility was demolished in 2013.

  • Captain America refers to Mockingbird as a “woman of the 80s” this should be considered a topical reference.

West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #24

West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #24

West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #25

West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #25