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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Avengers West Coast #59

Avengers West Coast #59

Get Smart

Hydro-Man has arrived on the west coast and uses his water powers to send tidal waves crashing on a busy LA street. While people are fleeing from the waves, Hydro-Man — in his liquid form — slams into an armored car, shattering it. He then scoops up the bags of money inside and carries them out to sea. Going up shore, he emerges from the waters with his latest haul.

Later, Hydro-Man stops at a bar for some drinks. There he overhears two men at another table talking about his latest crime spree. One of them wonders why someone as powerful as Hydro-Man focuses on such petty crimes when he could use his abilities to become a ruler of the country, kind of like Doctor Doom in Latveria. The other scoffs at this idea, saying that Morrie Bench is too stupid to do something that creative with his powers. This angers Bench who is about to ambush the two men, but decides against it. He realizes that he got mad at their comments because they’re right. He realizes that he longs for power and respect, having grown tired of being a low level thug.

That’s when the man at the other table comes to join him. He knows what Morrie has been thinking about and offers to give him the power he craves. Bench is surprised that this strange has been able to read his mind and decides to hear him out. The man tells Bench that his limitations are due to his low intelligence and after placing a hand on Hydro-Man’s brow, he unlocks the full potential of his mind. Suddenly, Morrie Bench finds himself intelligent enough to come up with a plan to obtain ultimate power. Thanking the man for opening his mind, Bench heads off to enact the new scheme that he has just cooked up.

Meanwhile, at Avengers Compound, Hawkeye and Wonder Man are in a training session outside. While Simon Williams is strong enough to withstand Clint’s trick arrows, he is not very maneuverable when using his jet belt. Hawkeye uses this to his advantage by unleashing a barrage of explosive arrows that sends his teammate crashing into the compound’s inground pool. Their training session comes to an abrupt end when Hank Pym radios them to head inside because there is a situation brewing. Inside, they learn from local law enforcement that Hydro-Man has resurfaced in the city. However, instead of committing a robbery, he has demanded that the Avengers West Coast to come fight him or he will start killing hostages.

The three Avengers head to the Arnel Building, headquarters to the world’s largest biological reagent company. There, Bench has a group of hostages suspended from an elevator that Hydro-Man has suspended in the middle of the building’s lobby. If they should be dropped, the fall is long enough to kill everyone inside. When Hawkeye and Wonder Man arrive on the scene to stop him, Hydro-Man’s new intelligence gives him the edge and he is able to defeat the pair in under two minutes. Annoyed that only two Avengers showed up, Hydro-Man demands that the rest of the team come at him. Unfortunately, Hank Pym is the only other Avenger available and he heads off to face Hydro-Man alone.

Hank arrives on the scene in his Rover craft and uses it to safely lower the hostages to the ground. Freeing Hawkeye and Wonder Man, the trio try to stop Hydro-Man. However, he continues to outsmart them at ever turn. That’s when the man who opened Morrie’s mind earlier arrives on the scene. Revealing that he is actually Loki, the Norse god of mischief, he decides that he has had his fun. At a snap of his fingers, Hydro-Man is reduced to his regular intelligence. Unable to think of any winning strategies he is quickly defeated by the three Avengers. Contained in a water tight cylinder, Hydro-Man reveals that even though he’s not long super-smart, he still got one up on the Avengers by planting a bomb on their compound that will go off in a matter of minutes. Hank and the others then drag Hydro-Man back to Avengers Compound where they recover the bomb hidden in the pool. However, the device is far too complicated for Hank Pym to disarm and he tells Hydro-Man to shut it down. Unfortunately, Morrie Bench no longer has the mental capacity to figure it out and moments later the bomb goes off, killing them all.

Later, the Avengers of both coasts come together to mourn the loss of their friends. Attending the funeral, the Wasp breaks down into tears. She wonders how three of her closest friends could be killed in such a horrific fashion. That’s when Immortus arrives on the scene to offer his condolences. He also assures her that he will prevent this course of events from ever happening. As he steps back into limbo, this alternate reality is erased from existence.[1] Observing the real Avengers, Immortus muses that while he promised that the Avengers won’t get killed by Hydro-Man, he cannot guarantee that his latest plot won’t destroy them.[2]

Recurring Characters

Immortus

Continuity Notes

  1. Yeah, this entire issue was a complete fake out. Per Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #5, the events of this issue took place on Reality-90659.

  2. Immortus has been pruning alternate realities since Avengers West Coast #53. This has been secondary to his main goal to manipulate events on Earth-616 to force the Scarlet Witch into achieving the full potential of her hex powers. Wanda is a Nexus Being of great power which Immortus seeks to exploit to total mastery over the timeline, as we’ll learn in Avengers West Coast #61-62. This is all part of a grander scheme to manipulate the Avengers destiny, part of Immortus’ job, as explained in greater detail in Avengers Forever #1-12.

Topical References

  • The televisions in this story are depicted as CRT models. This should be considered a topical reference as this type of technology is now obsolete.

  • Hydro-Man sings part of the song “I’ve Got a Crush On You”, originally written in 1930 by George Gershwin. It was used in the Broadway productions of Treasure Girl and Strike Up the Band. It was popularized when covered by Frank Sinatra, Sarah Vaughn, and Ella Fitzgerald. This could be considered a topical reference unless you want to believe that Morrie Bench is really big on Broadway musicals. Or maybe he’s just a huge Sinatra fan?

Avengers West Coast #58

Avengers West Coast #58

Avengers West Coast #60

Avengers West Coast #60