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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America #312

Captain America #312

Deface the Nation

It’s 1 AM outside the United Nations Building in New York, when the Flag-Smasher appears on his flying cycle. Using his mace, he knocks down every flagpole. He is an anti-nationalist who believes that the way to world peace is to abolish the outdated notions of national identity and borders. He completes his task just as the police arrive and escapes, pleased about his first symbolic victory against what he believes is an outdated system.

The following morning, Steve Rogers and his fiancée Bernie Rosenthal are getting their day started. Bernie is going over the different law schools when there is a knock at the door. It is the mailman with a special delivery for Steve. Signing for it, he discovers the letter is from the military and contains a cheque for a large sum of money, his accumulated back pay from the military.[1] Steve didn’t want the money, but the government had to pay it out and so Steve decides to use it to set up a hotline for people to contact Captain America for help. Bernie thinks this is a wonderful idea and offers to help him get his business started. After the cheque is cashed, Steve and Bernie get to work laying the groundwork for the Captain America hotline by drawing up a business plan and meeting with telecommunications companies, hardware consultants, and public relations firms.

Meanwhile, on the coast of Maine, Bushmaster and Diamondback of the Serpent Squad are on a mission to eliminated MODOK for AIM. Locating his former base of operations, the pair find no trace of their target. After dealing with the security systems, they set a bomb to go off should MODOK return.[2]

That evening, Flag-Smasher is out again and this time he has targeted the Acme Flag Company, as it is the largest producer of American flags in the country. After setting the building ablaze, he escapes once more.

Several more days later, Captain America has leased some business space in downtown Brooklyn to be the nerve center of his hotline operations. He meets with his public affairs team who report that things are going smoothly, particularly since some of the technology needed had been provided at a discount since it will be used by the legendary hero. When Steve Rogers returns home, he and Bernie watch a news report about how Captain America is going to make a public address. Although nobody knows what the hero is going to be announcing, Steve’s publicists are using it to announce the new hotline to generate attention.[3]

This report is also seen by the Flag-Smasher, who is at his Park Avenue penthouse watching the news. This story inspires him for his next strike against the nations of the world, as attacking Captain America — the living symbol of America — will support his cause. Smasher is motivated by the death of his father, a Swiss diplomat that was trampled to death during a protest against the Latverian government at the United Nations. His father’s death convinced him that borders and nations create violent divisions between people and a united world without different governments is the next natural evolution of human society and he is willing to use any means necessary to achieve these goals.[4] Bullied all his life for being different, Flag-Smasher trained himself in the martial arts so he would not be a victim anymore and with the death of his father, refuses to allow nationalism divide people.

That evening, Flag-Smasher makes one last strike before his attack on Captain America. He goes to the British Embassy where he knocks down their flag and burns a message on the side of the building: abolish nationalism or die.

The next day, Captain America makes his public address to a packed auditorium. He announces the opening of his national hotline so that he can serve his country better by giving the American people a direct line to call him for help. The announcement is interrupted by Flag-Smasher who has come to kill Cap in front of the audience. Captain America tells Flag-Smasher that America is a free country and he is allowed to have his own opinions, but cannot force people to listen or follow them through violence and intimidation. This leads to a battle between the two and Captain America — not wanting anyone to get harmed in the crossfire — damages Flag-Smasher’s flamethrower and trashes his jet cycle. Without his weapons or gadgets, Flag-Smasher is quickly and soundly defeated. With the battle over, Captain America says that there is nothing wrong with having a national or ethnic identity, that America itself is a multicultural nation and one should be proud of that. He says that at the end of the day what’s important that they are all human beings who all have the same wants and needs and the deserve equal respect.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Flag-Smasher, Bernie Rosenthal, Bushmaster, Diamondback

Continuity Notes

  1. Steve states here that the cheque was in response to a questionnaire he filled out recently. See Captain America #247-250 for all the details.

  2. MODOK was based out of Maine back in Incredible Hulk #287-290.

  3. The newscaster states that the last time Captain America made a public address was when he was considering a run for President. This happened in Captain America #250.

  4. Flag-Smasher’s true identity and the name of his father are not given here. The V-Battallion profile in Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #12 reveals Flag-Smasher’s full name as Karl Morgenthau. His father’s name and what nation he represented (as of this writing in November, 2021) unrevealed.

Topical References

  • Bernie states here that she was a fan of Perry Mason reruns on TV. This wouldn’t be considered a topical reference since she watched it on reruns.

  • Steve states that the cheque he received is for a million dollars. Adjusting for inflation this would be worth over 2.5 million in 2021 money.

  • Captain America’s hotline is depicted as being entirely telephone based. This should be considered topical as this story that was written during a time when the internet and electronic messaging wasn’t really a thing yet.

  • The newscaster states that Captain America considered running for President a year prior to this story. Captain America #250 was published in October, 1980 and this issue on December, 1985. Indeed, per the Sliding Timescale, approximately one year has passed in universe between these publications. Of course it’s a proper measurement because this story is written by Mark Gruenwald and he does things properly.

  • One of the newscasters is identified as being from CBS news and comments that the crowds are a big as if they’d announced a free Michael Jackson concert. The CBS reference is topical because that is a real world broadcaster. And the Michael Jackson reference is topical since the King of Pop has been dead since 2009.

Captain America #311

Captain America #311

Captain America #313

Captain America #313