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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America Annual #8

Captain America Annual #8

Tess-One

The mutant known as Wolverine has gone to Richie’s Bar some 20 miles north of Salem Center, New York, to have a few quiet drinks.[1] There, a fight breaks out as the patrons attack Bob Frank who stopped in for directions and was accused of being a mutant. Logan doesn’t get involved because Frank is strong enough to hold his own. However, when Bob leaves, Logan wonders if this is the son of Robert Frank, the wartime hero known as the Whizzer, and decides to learn more about him as the mutant could be helped by his fellow X-Men.[2]

Exiting the bar and changing into his Wolverine costume, Logan uses his enhanced senses to follow Frank’s trail. He arrives just as Frank is being attacked by a massive robot. Wolverine tries to stop the attack but is swatted away. Suddenly, the robot is called away by its master who is hovering in the air on some kind of hovercraft. As the flee the scene, Wolverine can only hear one thing: That the robot is called Tess. As much as he wants to go after the attackers, Bob Frank has been seriously injured, so Logan carries him to the nearest hospital.

Meanwhile, at a road stop off I-94, Captain America is investigating a strange sinkhole that has opened in the middle of a Kwiki-Burger parking lot. Since authorities sent in two men to investigate the hole that have not returned, Cap goes down looking for them. He finds a World War II era bunker armed with various traps. After pulling the two officers — who had been knocked out by phosgene gas — Captain America goes back down to investigate the bunker further. After surviving a series of death traps, he comes across an old boiler room where some large robot once resided but recently emerged, judging from the footprints in the dust. He learns from the locals that the bunker stands on the site that was the former home of a scientist named Schumann who worked for the government before his retirement some time ago. Curious as to what is down there, Captain America decides to use his government connections to learn more.

At that same moment, back in Westchester County, a long haul trucker’s vehicle is commandeered by TESS and its controller, a man calling himself the Overrider due to his ability to take control of mechanical devices through their electrical systems. After Tess tosses out the trucks cargo, Overrider orders the driver to take them to Adametco, the company he was making his delivery to. Fearing for his own life, the trucker agrees to smuggle them onto the property.

By this time, Wolverine has gotten Bob Frank to the hospital and has gone back to pick up the trail of his attackers. The scent leads him to the side of the highway where he finds the discarded cargo that was headed for Adametco. Logan recognizes the company as the country’s leading manufacturer of Adamantium, the same virtually indestructible metal that coats his bones and claws.

Meanwhile, Overrider and Tess arrive at Adamentco, where he forces the workers to begin coating the robot with Adamantium. Let free, the driver who brought them there uses his CB radio to call for help. Someone receiving the distress calls decides to call it in to Captain America’s hotline. Receiving the alert from his mobile headquarters, Captain America races to the factory on his motorcycle. There, he finds Wolverine and the two come to blows when Cap questions Logan’s motivations since the X-Men had recently welcomed Magneto into their ranks.[3] Their battle is interrupted by Tess. Now coated in Adamantium, the robot is now neigh indestructible. Overrider has a hard time keeping control of the robot which begins attacking Captain America based on its original programming. Eventually, Overrider regains control and escapes with his robot. In the aftermath of the battle, Captain America admits that he acted rashly by attacking Wolverine and suggest that they pool resources together to stop Overrider and Tess-One. The pair then split up to find information on each.

Six hours later, Overrider — in his civilian identity of Richard Rennselaer — visits his son Johnny at the Vollman Center for Disturbed Children in West Virginia. Johnny suffers from “nuclear psychosis” due to the boy’s anxiety over the world’s nuclear weapon stockpiles and how they could be used to wipe out all humanity. His son hasn’t changed since his last visit, convincing Richard that he must push forward with his plans for Tess in order to snap his son out of his condition.

Meanwhile, Captain America is using his government channels to access information on the Tess robot. He learns that its actualy name is TESS-One, which stands for Total Elimination of Super-Soldiers. During the early days of World War II when the government was working on their super-soldier program, a scientist named Daniel Schumann who was tasked with creating these robots in the event that the planned army of super-soldiers ever turned on the American government. However, when the creator of the Super-Soldier Formula — Doctor Abraham Erskine — was murdered after transforming Steve Rogers into Captain America, the need for robots to keep an army of super-soldiers in line was no longer needed and the program was cancelled.[4] Schumann kept the only working prototype and hid it in the bunker below his property.

At that same moment, Wolverine has returned to Xavier’s School to check the Cerebro files to see if there is anything there on Overrider. As it turns out, there is a record on Richard Rennselaer, a former SHIELD agent and a mutant, confirming Logan’s hunch about their foe.

The next day, in Nebraska, Richard stops to get gas for his van. Unfortunately for him, the gas station attendant is part of Captain America’s Stars and Stripes network and after spotting TESS-One in the back of the van he rushes into the station to repot the sighting to Captain America via his hotline.

By that evening, Overrider and TESS-One attack a nuclear missile facility some ten miles from the gas station. Arriving shortly after are Captain America and Wolverine who have to contend with TESS-One while Overrider slips away into the control room. Working together, the two heroes knock TESS-One over. Using his shield like a hammer, he hits Wolverine’s hands with enough force that his Adamantium claws can wedge themselves between the seams of the robots neck, allowing the fast-healing mutant to decapitate TESS-One, ending its threat.

They then race into the control room where Overrider threatens to use his powers to trigger a nuclear launch and kick off a World War III. When reason fails, Captain America manages to knock Overrider off his hovercraft using his shield. Standing directly under their foe, Logan considers skewering Overrider on his claws but decides against it. However, he doesn’t bother catching Richard either and he is knocked out in the fall and taken into custody. In the aftermath of the battle, Captain America chastises Logan for his rough handling of their foe, telling him that the Avengers wouldn’t tolerate that on their team.[5] Logan could give a fuck and walks away. Later, he goes back to the hospital to check on Bob Frank, who is recovering in the hospital.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Wolverine, Tess-One, Overrider, Nuklo

Continuity Notes

  1. The narrative here raises the mysteries surrounding Logan’s name, saying that nobody knows what his full name was. For years, Logan hasn’t been sure about his past after being experimented upon by the Weapon X program (Marvel Comics Presents #72-84). Years later it’s revealed that Logan isn’t his real name. Wolverine: The Origin #1-6 reveals that his real name is actually James Howlett. Logan was the name of his family groundskeeper back in the 1800s. When James family was killed in a night of violence, James and his childhood friend Rose fled and went under cover. Rose gave him the name Logan to help hide them. Logan will not remember the truth about his past until Decemation: House of M - The Day After #1 when all his lost memories are restored by the Scarlet Witch.

  2. It is stated here that the Whizzer is dead. He had died trying to cure his son the excess radiation he constantly gave off in Vision and the Scarlet Witch #2. For more on Nuklo’s origins see Giant-Size Avengers #1.

  3. At the time of this story, Magneto vowed to go straight and joined the X-Men at the request of Charles Xavier who believed he was dying at the time, as seen in Uncanny X-Men #200. Magneto will eventually revert to type by issue #253 of that series.

  4. Naturally, they are referring to Captain America’s origins here as seen in Captain America Comics #1.

  5. It’s kind of funny that Captain America vows that Wolverine could never be Avengers material because Logan ultimately ends up joining the team in New Avengers #1.

Topical References

  • This story depicts Logan smoking a cigar in the bar and later at the hospital while visiting Bob Frank. This should be considered topical since the state of New York banned indoor smoking (especially in hospitals) by the early 2000s.

  • Wolverine uses the word “retarded” to refer to Bob Frank’s disability. This should be considered topical. While the word is medically accurate, its usage has evolved to being considered by many to be a slur towards individuals with disabilities. A correct term would be cognitive or intellectual disability.

  • Johnny Rennselaer’s nuclear fears are very much framed around people’s anxiety during the Cold War which was still on going when this story was first written. Any implied reference to the Cold War should be considered topical.

  • Captain America is depicted as access microfilms of declassified government documents. This should be considered topical as that type of record keeping has long since become obsolete.

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