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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Captain America Comics #64

Captain America Comics #64

Sparkles Strikes Back

One day Cracker McGill approaches his boss Sparkles Labelle while she is under cover as a maid. She pulls him into an alley and scolds him for not laying low long enough for the heat from their last haul to die down. Cracker however tells Sparkles that the rest of the gang is going broke and they need to pull another robbery soon. Labelle tells McGill to continue laying low before he blows her current cover. She then returns to the home of her employer Mrs. Monitawks, who has put on her most expensive necklace as she and her son Jimmy prepare to go to the Lee School costume pageant. When Sparkles inquires about the necklace, Monitawks tells her it's worth millions and that she intends to wear it to the Lee School. When they leave, Sparkles gets on the phone to Cracker and begins plotting to steal the necklace.

Meanwhile, a the Lee School, Jeff Mace and Fred Davis are changing into Captain America and Bucky as guests of the pageant. When Betsy Ross walks in on them looking for Jeff, she finds only Captain America and abruptly leaves, leaving Cap to wonder why she likes his alter-ego, but has no use for Captain America. As the party starts, Captain America notices that Betsy is dressed as Joan of Arc, complete with black wig and an original outfit once worn by the original Joan of Arc, borrowed from a museum. Captain America and Bucky then meet Mr.s Monitawks and express their concern over her wearing such an expensive necklace and decide to keep an eye on her.

Elsewhere in the school, Sparkles has Cracker posing as a janitor and informs him to have his men wait backstage to steal the necklace. As a costume contest is under way, Sparkles men light a fire back stage that sets off the fire alarm. As everyone rushes to safety, Mrs. Monitawks falls off the stage ruining Sparkles' chance to steal the necklace as Bucky and Betsy rush to her aid. Bucky soon joins Cap back stage where a fight breaks out between them and the gang. As Bucky douses the flames, Cap tries to fight the men back, but they escape when they cut the stage ropes causing a curtain to fall down on the two heroes.

With Mrs. Monitawks recuperating in another room, Captain America and Bucky decide to stand guard at the door. When Betsy leaves to get Monitawks a glass of water, she is knocked out by Sparkles who then steals her costume and sneaks past Cap and Bucky. When Monitawks revives from her fall, Sparkles breaks the vase of water over her head and steals the necklace. With Cracker carrying Betsy out, Sparkles then uses he disguise to inform Cap and Bucky that Monitawks has been robbed, able to slip away while they rush to the old woman's aid. Monitawks accuses Betsy of stealing her necklace, prompting Cap and Bucky to rush out just in time to see Sparkles and her men drive away in a car. They catch a cab and get it to follow Sparkles back to her hideout. They attack the gang but are soon overpowered and tied up with Betsy and learn that they are prisoners of Sparkles Labelle, who Cap recalls is a notorious jewel thief. Left alone with a single guard, Cap convinces him that Sparkles is going to double cross him, causing him to lower his guard long enough for Cap to knock the man out.

Freeing themselves, Cap recalls the gangster talking about how Labelle was returning to the Monitawk's residence to steal more loot. Arriving there they are shocked to find Monitawks sitting in a chair with her stolen necklace. She denies it was ever stolen aisnd asks them to leave. When they do, Sparkles comes out of hiding to continue looting the house. However, Cap and Bucky come back and another fight breaks out. As Cap and Bucky are busy subduing the gang, Sparkles attempts to flee but is tripped by Betsy Ross. After they are turned over to the authorities Mrs. Monitawks thanks the heroes for their help. Betsy however snubs Captain America for using more brawn than brains to solve the case.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky, Betsy Ross

Continuity Notes

  • Per What If? #4, the appearances of Captain America and Bucky in this story can be attributed to Jeff Mace and Fred Davis.

  • In this story, Betsy Ross appears is dismissive of Captain America, yet is romantically interested in “Steve Rogers”. Later stories (notable Captain America: Patriot #1) reveals that Ross is Captain America’s government liaison and is fully aware that “Steve Rogers” is Jeff Mace and that he is also Captain America. One could assume that she is pretending here in an attempt to maintain Mace’s triple identity.

Diamonds Spell Doom

After a busy day at the Lee School, Jeff Mace and Fred Davis head home for the night when they spot a light on in the deans office. Suspecting trouble they change into Captain America and Bucky and rush back inside. There they catch the Dean Thorp going through the schools safe. When they ask him what's going on he admits he was tempted to steal the money. Before he can explain himself his niece Sylvia comes out from hiding and tells the two heroes it's her fault. They explain that she is employed by the Gaylord Jewellery Company and that she is sometimes sent out to trendy locations to model their jewels for promotional purposes. The previous evening she was sent to the Crown Colony Club wearing a necklace worth $22,000. At the club she met the owner a man calling himself King Leer. Later in the evening one of the waiters accidentally spilled soup on her and she was brought in back to have herself cleaned off. While it was happening one of the staff removed her necklace to help with the clean up. Unknown to her, what was returned was a imitation. When she returned the phony necklace to her employer he noticed it was a fake held Sylvia responsible and ordered her to pay him back the cost of the necklace within three days or have her arrested. When she tried to return to the Crown Colony Club, King Leer refused to let her in the establishment.

Captain America and Bucky decide to help out and try to recover the stolen necklace. The trio go to the Crown Colony Club and sneak in through the back from an open window. They begin searching through King Leer's office when he and a bunch of his men catch them. As Captain America and Bucky fight King Leer's goons, the King himself tries to go for a gun in his desk, but Sylvia slams the draw on his fingers. Leer however manages to grab the girl and holds her at gun point forcing Cap and Bucky to stand down. To amuse himself, King Leer then forces Captain America to fight "Angel" his big burly bouncer. Captain America pretends to lose the fight, and as he feigns defeat, Angel gets close enough for Cap to beat him senseless. As King Leer orders his men to attack, Bucky cuts through his bonds with a sword that is hung on the wall. As the two heroes battle, King Leer comes at Cap with an axe, but Cap trips him. The axe goes flying across the rook and strikes the cigarette girls tray splitting it open and causing the hidden necklace inside to spill out onto the floor. With King Lear and his men arrested, they are turned over to the authorities. Later Dean Thorp and Sylvia thank Cap and Bucky for helping them recover the stolen necklace.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky

Death Is the Highest Bidder

The Human Torch and Toro are on patrol when a woman calls for help. Going to her aid, she introduces herself as Anne Richards. She tells them that her brother Jimmy has been arrested for the murder of Mitzi Miles, a fashion model for the Elite Fur Company. She explains that her brother was rejected by Mitzi and in anger threatened to kill her, but was only being emotional, and explains that her brother was at home with her at the time of the murder, but the authorities don't believe it. The Human Torch and Toro agree to investigate the situation and clear Jimmy's name.

The three go to the scene of the murder and are allowed to take a look. However, they learn from an officer placed on guard that because the chief believed it was an open and shut case they had allowed the creditors to impound all the furniture to sell at the Gavelle Auction. They decide to go to the auction, the Torch telling Anne to go but not to sit with them, and on his signal begin betting on an item that might have a clue to the murder. At the auction, the Torch scopes the crowd and identifies one of the men as a sleazy private investigator. When he begins to bid on an ashtray, the Torch signals Anne to wager for it as well. When Anne wins the ash try, she leaves the auction and is accosted by the man, but the Torch and Toro intervene. However, the man is prepared and uses a chemical spray to douse their flames and escapes with the ash tray. In the aftermath of the battle, the Torch recognizes the smell of the chemical used against them as Citric Acetate, a chemical used for treating furs.

They next go to the Elite Fur Company and question the owner Mr. Johnson. Johnson tells them that recently his customers have been complaining about purchasing fur coats made out of cheap skin and that his assistant Carl Correll had hired a private investigator to look into the claims. When asked if they use Citric Acetate, Johnson tells them that they do on the advice of Correll. The Torch and Toro then rush off to Correll's house. There, the private detective turns over the stolen ashtray. Correll opens the false bottom revealing a letter that Mitzi had written before her murder. When the Torch and Toro try to apprehend Correll, they are forced to stand down when one of Carl's men appears with Anne as a hostage. However, the Torch manages to knock over a pile of crates that land on the crooks incapacitating them long enough to be apprehended by the police. At the police station Carl confesses that he was switching good pelts with bad ones and was selling the good furs at a marked up price. He goes on to say that Mitzi was in on it with him, but when she wanted more money he had her killed. With Carl's confession Jimmy is released from prison, and both he and Anne thank the Torch for his assistance.

Recurring Characters

Human Torch, Toro

Terror At the Fair

At a local fair, the Lee School is competing in contest where the contestants build a city of the future, the winning design would be adopted to build future cities and the creators would be awarded a ten thousand dollars. Fred Davis and Betsy Ross work on the final touches and are soon met by Captain America who is there as the guest of honour and to sign autographs.

Later that day as society girl and social worker Gloria DeVille begins judging, a man rushes off to tell his boss, who decides it's time to act. Putting on a costume the boss - calling himself the Acrobat - sets a fire, prompting Fred to change into Bucky and join Captain America in investigating the cause of the blaze. Catching the Acrobat in the act, Captain America gives him chase, fighting off his men and is led to where the Acrobat is putting on a high diving show. Cap decides to catch him once he dives into the water. However, when the Acrobat doesn't surface, one of the security guards informs him that there is a trap door in the bottom of the tank the Acrobat uses to leave. Cap and Bucky return to the City of the Future exhibit and ponder why the Acrobat would be determined to sabotage the competition.

When Betsy leaves to go to lunch the Acrobat and his men grab her, prompting Captain America and Bucky to give them chase again. The Acrobat goes to an exhibit where a scientist is showing off his latest invention: a vehicle designed to demolish houses. He attempts to throw Betsy into the machine, but Cap manages to save her. Realizing that the Acrobat has fled, the two heroes rush back to the exhibit hall. They stop them from smashing the Lee School exhibit, capturing his gang, but he Acrobat once more flees loosing the heroes in the hall of mirrors.

As Gloria prepares to hand out the award, the Acrobat steals a race car and uses it snatch her and the envelope of money. Cap and Bucky give the Acrobat chase yet again, and this time nab him before he manages to escape on foot. Cap unmasks him and the Acrobat is revealed to be a rival model builder who wanted the million dollars for himself, by rook or crook. With the Acrobat turned over to the authorities, Gloria then awards the Lee School's model as money which Betsy accepts on behalf of the Lee School. Betsy, Cap and Bucky are delighted as the money will help fund the Lee School's lunch fund for some time.

Recurring Characters

Captain America, Bucky

Captain America Comics #63

Captain America Comics #63

Captain America Comics #65

Captain America Comics #65