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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Combat Kelly #15

Combat Kelly #15

Combat Kelly

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Combat Kelly and Cookie Novak are on guard duty when they witness a brash hit and run attack by Chinese soldiers in a truck that sees Yalu River Rosie freed from the prisoner's stockade. Hopping into a jeep, the two American soldiers chase after her and try to head her off by using a short cut across a bridge. However, the bridge has been booby trapped and it explodes before they can cross it. Unable to stop their jeep in time, they bail out and the jeep falls over the cliff and lands on Rosie's truck destroying it in an explosion.

They then spot enemy troops advancing up the hill to attack them, with nowhere to run, Combat quickly improvises a crude catapult with their gun belts and two small trees and they launch themselves across the chasm. However this getaway is soon quashed when they an overweight Chinese official and his men get the drop on them. The commander forces Combat and Cookie to pilot their motorcycle while the Chinese troops ride in the side car with guns pointed at them. Driving along tight mountain curves, Combat edges the bike close to the edge so the side car breaks off sending their would be captors falling to their deaths.

Spotting enemy trucks and finding that the motorcycle's saddle bag is loaded with grenades the two Americans decide to wipe out the enemy truck convoy. They speed off a cliff and land on the roof of the first truck, dropping a grenade and using their forward momentum to hop across to the other successive trucks. At the last one, they go speeding out of control and crash into a nearby river. When they recover they find that Yalu River Rosie had survived, having bailed out of her truck before the jeep crashed into it. She has the drop on them but before she can kill them the last grenade goes off, destroying the last truck. One of the tires goes flying and strikes Rosie in the back of the head knocking her out. Combat and Cookie are amused by their good luck and drag the unconscious Rosie back to their camp.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

  • Yalu River Rosie

Combat Kelly

With their Japanese sumo friend now made an official G.I., Combat and Cookie are charged with Yamakayaka's basic training. Combat has Yama go through an training course, telling Yama that this sort of training helps win the war.

Combat and Cookie are shocked by Yama's unorthodox methods of going through the obstacle course: slamming through a brick wall instead of climbing over it, hopping over a barbed wire fence instead of crawling under it and slamming through pipes, ripping them in half. However, the sumo's good pace is ended when he has to swing across a pond on a rope and it snaps under his weight sending him falling into the water.

The last test is for Yama to climb up a up and down a ladder as quickly as possible. However when he gets to the top enemy troops attack. Quick thinking, Yama pulls off the logs that comprise of the ladder's steps and begins hurling them at the enemy soldiers. He then incapacitates the rest of the attackers by using the rope and pipes to knock them out or tie them. He then binds up more troops with the barbed wire fence and knocks out the rest by hurling bricks at them.

In the aftermath of the battle, Yamakayaka is convinced that an obstacle course can indeed help them win the war, much to the exasperation of Combat and Cookie.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

  • Yamakayaka

A Letter to Mom

While in a fox hole, Cookie pushes down a new soldier before he can get cut down by enemy fire. Cookie asks the boy why he wasn't paying attention and learns that the kid was busy writing a letter to his mother back home, who is worried about his son's safety and is concerned that he is eating well and is being well looked after. The young soldier has no idea how to convince his mother that he is doing okay.

Cookie coaches him on what to write, telling him to explain that they are well fed, that they wear special boots that protect their feet from the elements, that they are protected by bullet proof vests, and that there are medics and religious staff on hand for their medical and worship needs.

Satisfied with Cookie's responses the young soldier writes them all down and thanks Novak for his help. When the young soldier remarks that Cookie's mother must not worry about him at all, the young troop is shocked to hear that Cookie doesn't know, explaining that his mother was captured by the communists and put in a Polish slave camp in 1944 and he hasn't seen her since, and does not even know if she is alive.

Recurring Characters

  • Cookie Novak

Combat Kelly

Given 12 hour leave, Combat and Cookie are ambushed in a Korean bar by Chinese soldiers wearing civilian clothing. They easily fight off their attackers, and the bar keeper -- a Korean woman named Chu-Chu -- offers to lead them to safety through a secret tunnel under the bar. However, this turns out to be a trap as there are Chinese soldiers waiting for them down below and they are taken prisoner. This, apparently has been part of a long running trap for American soldiers who are off duty in order to learn the location of and steal American supplies.

They are brought before the ring-leader of the operation, Manchuria Mary who demands that Combat draw a map showing where their ammo stores are being kept. Combat refuses to comply, but when Mary threatens to torture Cookie, he tells her that he will drive them to the location. She does not trust Combat to do this, and decides to send Cookie instead. Combat in an uncharacteristic display of emotion hugs Cookie who thinks that Combat is tickling him before he is forced to drive a truck full of Chinese soldiers.

However, when Cookie is driving the truck he remembers the last words Combat told him and realizes that Combat used the pencil given to him by Mary to write a message on his undershirt. Combat's written orders are for Cookie to smash the truck, assuring Cookie that he'll be okay. Cookie bails out sending the truck crashing into a building causing an explosion that kills all the enemy troops riding in back.

Meanwhile, Mary threatens to shoot Combat Kelly, but before she can Chu-Chu returns and throws a knife into her chest, killing her and tries to help Combat escape. When they are confronted by enemy troops, Combat grabs a lanturn and tosses it at them, lighting them ablaze. Fleeing the burning bar, the two escapees are reunited with Cookie. In the aftermath, Chu-Chu explains that she was forced to help the Chinese because they held her father prisoner and threatened to torture him if she didn't help them. However, she learned that the Chinese tortured him anyway and he died as a result, prompting her to betray Manchuria Mary and free the two Americans.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

  • Manchuria Mary

Combat Kelly #14

Combat Kelly #14

Combat Kelly #16

Combat Kelly #16