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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Combat Kelly #6

Combat Kelly #6

Combat Kelly

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Combat Kelly is completely surrounded by Chinese soldiers with their commanding officer in a headlock. Kelly orders the communist soldiers to stand back, threatening to blow them all up with a hand grenade. The commanding officer orders his men to surrender and drop their arms. Kelly then grabs a gun and forces the entire troop to follow him back to base as his prisoners. Along the way, a North Korean gorilla fighter spots Kelly and throws a rock at his head knocking him out.

When Kelly comes around he finds himself a prisoner of the Chinese soldiers again. The commanding officer informs him that they are going to have a little fun with Combat instead of out right killing him. They have put Kelly in a Chinese army uniform and have blind folded him as they plan to let him loose near his base in the hopes that his own army would confuse Kelly for the enemy and shoot him.

Kelly is dumped in the middle of the battlefield and ironically, it is his pal Cookie Novak who spots him running across the field and alerts his fellow soldiers. Kelly manages to dodge the fire from his own allies and dives into a trench where he is able to get his blindfold and the ropes binding his hands. Kelly then strips down to his long underwear and climbs out of the tench calling out to his buddies. The Chinese soldiers on the other side then begin trying to shoot Kelly, but the other American troops lay down cover fire until Combat can get to safety.

After bearing some humiliation from his friends now that they know he wears bright red cover-alls, Kelly gets a new uniform and meets with Major Thorn. He tells Thorn that the communists are plotting a massive "Banzai attack" once all their forces are mobilized, but was unable to learn the location before he was captured and sent out into the battle filed to be killed. The only thing Kelly knows is that the Chinese would attack when they hear the next bugle call. Suddenly, Kelly is inspired and digs up a battered bugle horn.

That night, Cookie sneaks behind enemy lines and plays the bugle tricking the Chinese to attack before they are ready. The enemy army is quickly decimated but there are also many casualties on the American side. Later, Major Thorn informs Combat that Cookie is missing in action and promises Kelly that his friend will receive a Silver Star for combat. Kelly is not exactly cheered up by this. He then quietly prays that Cookie comes back alive.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

  • Major Thorn

Combat Kelly

With Cookie Novak still missing in action, Combat Kelly has not given up hope that his buddy will turn up alive, however is driving himself sick with worry. When he meets with Major Thorn, Combat asks for permission to go out looking for Novak and is delighted when Thorn allows him to go out alone. However, before he does, Thorn hands Combat a new jacket.

Meanwhile, Cookie has been captured by the Chinese army and is being tortured in retaliation for every Chinese soldier that was killed in the last battle. Despite this torture, Cookie refuses to scream in pain but eventually passes out from the ordeal. The commanding officer then orders his men to splash salt water from the lake on Cookies back, sending him screaming back into consciousness. When one of the soldiers recommends shooting Cookie next, his commanding officer denies that suggestion, wanting Novak to really suffer.

The commander then heats up a knife until it is red hot and is about to drive it into Cookie's left eye. Before Cookie can be blinded, Combat Kelly arrives with guns blazing, killing the commanding officer and most of his men. However, one of the Chinese soldiers manages to land a number of shots, seemingly killing Kelly, much to Cookie's horror. The surviving Chinese soldiers decide to stop playing around and decide to blow out Cookie's brains by putting a gun by either side of his head. However, Combat has survived and gets the communists before they can ventilate Cookie and then mows down the remaining Chinese soldiers.

Freed, Cookie expresses his surprise that Combat managed to survive. Combat then informs Cookie that Major Thorn had given him a new bullet proof vest that they have been giving to soldiers to wear in the field. After patching up Cookie's back, the two reunited friends then return to base.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

Combat Kelly

A troop of Chinese soldiers have devised a clever means of getting beyond enemy lines: Having stolen American army uniforms and mastered communication lingo, they manage to get close enough behind enemy lines to gun down soldiers before they can realize that they have been tricked.

One night they kill a sentry and walk among a group of sleeping soldiers, Combat Kelly is among their number. Before the Chinese soldiers can silently kill the soldiers with their bayonets, Cookie Novak returns from patrol and raises the alarm when he shoots the communist who is about to stab Combat Kelly. The waking soldiers are caught off guard but manage to wipe out most of the enemy troops. Combat Kelly's gun runs out of ammo and he throws the empty rife at a soldier knocking him out long enough to be taken prisoner. Kelly then beats the Chinese soldier until he explains their plans and that there is another wave of Chinese soldiers coming into try the same trick.

Combat and Cookie then man the machine gun that lines their trench and waits for the impostors to come. That night when a group of soldiers in American uniforms approach in the dark, Combat has them call out the name of their unit. When they announce themselves as "J Company", Kelly opens fire wiping them all out. When they investigate the bodies they find that they are all Chinese soldiers. When Cookie asks Combat how he could tell, Kelly tells him that there is no such unit called J Company in the US Army.

Recurring Characters

  • Combat Kelly

  • Cookie Novak

Combat Kelly #5

Combat Kelly #5

Combat Kelly #7

Combat Kelly #7