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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Fantastic Four #275

Fantastic Four #275

The Naked Truth

The She-Hulk is sunbathing topless on the roof of the Baxter Building when she suddenly notices that she is being observed by a traffic helicopter for WXIT TV. The invasion of her privacy startles She-Hulk enough to sit upright, causing her bikini top to fall off. This was the plan of one of the men aboard the chopper, who snaps photos of She-Hulk topless. Not wanting those photos to get published, She-Hulk puts her top back on and leaps off the Baxter Building and grabs onto the helicopter. The chopper takes off and begins flying around in a desperate effort to shape Jen loose just as Wyatt Wingfoot arrives on the roof to join her in tanning. Seeing what is going on, Wyatt then quickly makes a run for one of the Fantastic Four's jet-cycles to follow after her. Back aboard the traffic copter, Jen punches her fist into the cockpit, causing the two men aboard to panic and send her smashing into an office building. Recovering from the crash, Jen then climbs out the window just in time to see Wyatt arrive. She hops into the jet-cycle but when the two try to track renew the chase of the helicopter, they have lost it amid all the other air traffic over Manhattan.

Unwilling to give up, She-Hulk decides to use her skills as a lawyer to track down the men who took her photo. Calling WXIT she learns the name of the pilot, Dan Cooley, and the location of their private landing field in Jersey. With this information in hand, She-Hulk pays Cooley a visit. When She-Hulk demands to know who took her photo, the man refuses until She-Hulk threatens to trash his helicopter. While not far away, Johnny and Alicia wake up from a passionate night spent together. Johnny feels bad at first, by Alicia tells Johnny what happened the night before was beautiful and what they both needed. Realizing that they are now more than friends the pair kiss.

Meanwhile, She-Hulk has learned that the photo was taken for the Naked Truth, a sleazy tabloid that has an office in Times Square. Reverting to her Jennifer Walters form, Jen and Wyatt pay a visit to the dirty office of the Naked Truth. There they get an audience with the publisher T.J. Vance. At first, the jovial Vance thinks that Walters is there to participate in a lawyer themed nude photo session, but she soon cuts down to business and tells him that she has come to give him a cease and desist order to not publish the nude photos of She-Hulk. When she starts demanding that if he publishes the photo she should be fully compensated due to her memberships in various showbusiness unions, including the SAG, AFTRA, and Equity. Vance then changes his tune, not willing to give her anything, stating that the photos and that as a public figure who was out in the public when the photo was taken, he refuses to pay her anything.

When Jen begins arguing semantics about how they invaded her privacy on the top of the Baxter Building, Vance has finally had enough. He explains to her that the photos have already gone to print and shows off all the money he has earned on the pre-sales that he has kept in a safe. Vance then turns on the smarm by trying to hit on Walters and making suggestive advances on her. Having had enough, Jen decides to compromise her double-identity by changing into the She-Hulk. Suddenly, the cowardly Vance backs away warning her that if she hurts him he will sue. She-Hulk assures him that is not what she plans to do and points out that his safe isn't very secure. To "help", She-Hulk uses her massive strength to crush the safe -- with all the money still inside -- into a ball of metal. She then hands it to Vance, who cannot hold the weight and it drops to the ground. Satisfied that she has gotten some retribution, She-Hulk and Wyatt leave the Naked Truth offices.

Three weeks later, Reed and Sue have returned to the Baxter Building with Franklin, their hopes of raising him in quite Belle Porte, Connecticut having been compromised. Although Franklin experienced some horrifying things, his parents remark on how normal he is acting since they have gotten back. Meanwhile, She-Hulk is fearful of the repercussions of her nude photos that will be hitting the newsstand that day. Suddenly, Johnny arrives with the magazine and shows Jen something amazing: when the photos were developed, someone figured that the color of She-Hulk's skin was an error and "color-corrected" the photos. Without anything to give scale to She-Hulk's size captured in the photos, it looks like a photo of a generic woman. With nobody able to identify her in the photograph, She-Hulk is happy at this turn of events. However, when Johnny jokingly mentions getting his green-tinted sunglasses to look at the photo, Jen chases Johnny around the Baxter Building.

Recurring Characters

Fantastic Four (She-Hulk, Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch), Wyatt Wingfoot, “Alicia Masters”, Franklin Richards

Continuity Notes

  • The woman who slept with Johnny is not Alicia Masters but the Skrull spy known as Lyja, as revealed in Fantastic Four #358. That story explains that the real Alicia had been replaced in Fantastic Four #265. Initially, Lyja took the form of Alicia due to her long-lasting relationship with the Thing (which began after Fantastic Four #9). However when she learned that the Thing remained on Battleworld following the events of the Secret Wars (Seen Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars #12) she began pursuing a relationship with Johnny in order to maintain "Alicia's" ties to the group.

  • T.J. Vance mentions the Vanessa Williams nude photos. This is a reference to when unauthorized nude photos of herself published in Penthouse magazine in 1984. The first African-American Miss America winner, the photos caused quite the controversy at the time and she was forced to relinquish her title. Any commentary that suggests that those events were current in the context of this story should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

  • T.J. Vance mockingly asking if "Ed Asner's gonna come and lean on me?" is a reference to actor Ed Asner. In the 1980s Asner served two years as president of the Screen Actors Guild a union that represents film and television performers. This should also be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale.

  • At the time of this story, She-Hulk was putting a half-hearted attempt at keeping her double identity a secret. She gives up on this notion after becoming trapped in her She-Hulk form following the events of Marvel Graphic Novel #18.

  • Reed and Sue's are referencing their battle with Elspeth Cromwell and Mephisto in Fantastic Four #276-277 which resulted in Reed's arm getting broken.

Fantastic Four #274

Fantastic Four #274

Fantastic Four #276

Fantastic Four #276