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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #14

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #14

Taking Wing Part One

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Debra Whitman calls her agent to talk about the shipment of her book about her relationship with Spider-Man she just received.[1] She has some issues with the finished product as the publisher changed the title to "Two-Faced: How Peter Parker Ruined My Life” and how they punched up the original manuscript to make the story sound more lurid than it really was. However, her agent tells her that the publisher thought it was necessary. After confirming that Debra is ready for her flight to New York for a book signing he quickly ends the call, telling her that they have a deadline to meet. Looking at the final product of her work, Debra angrily throws it across the room. Hearing the noise from upstairs, Debra’s mother asks her daughter if everything is all right. Debra apologizes for the noise and says it’s nothing. Her mother responds to her daughter by saying whatever is troubling her to always remember that for every door that closes another opens.

Meanwhile, in New York, a van full of armed thugs arrive outside Midtown High in the hopes of taking a shot at Spider-Man, now that everyone knows that he is Peter Parker.[2] They are confronted by what appears to be Wolverine, who tells them figures that they’ve come to take students at the school hostage in order to get Spider-Man to come so they can try and claim the reward Jameson is offering for the web-slinger. Extracting his Adamantium claws, Wolverine warns them that they’ll have to deal with him instead. When they draw their guns on “Wolverine”, he suddenly leaps up into the air, landing in the middle of the group. Then he starts breaking their guns with his bare hands. While “Wolverine” is knocking out the others, the leader of the group tries to flee down an alley. However, he runs into a man who appears to be the Punisher. “Frank Castle” tells the man that he’s going to spare his life in order to send a message to anyone else thinking of going after Spider-Man. He wants them to be warned that the students at Midtown High are off-limits and is under guard by heroes 24/7. Having been suitable intimidated, the “Punisher” tosses the crook in the trash. When he gets up, he is shocked to discover that the “Punisher” has disappeared. The “Punisher” actually managed to get up onto the rooftops. In reality, this was actually Spider-Man who pulled off this charade by using an image inducer. As he drops his disguise, Spider-Man thinks of the events that led up to this situation….

…. Peter had decided he was going to leave his teaching job since it has been difficult to carry out his job since revealing his identity to the public. Between the protestors outside and Mysterio’s recent attack on the school he thinks it is far too dangerous to continue working at Midtown.[3] Arrow points out that while Peter’s wife and Aunt are safe in Stark Tower, the faculty and students don’t have the luxury of being safe unless Peter stays to protect them.[4] Further, she points out that even if Peter quits his job at the school it doesn’t mean villains will stop attacking it after he’s gone. Peter eventually begins to see Miss Arrow’s point but doesn’t know how to solve the problem. She tells Peter that he’s a smart guy and he’ll find some way to figure it out.

As Peter continues his reflections, Adrian Tooms — aka the Vulture — has been locked up in prison without due process. Toomes demands to be able to talk to a lawyer and complains that his rights are being infringed upon. Over the intercom, one of the administrators tells Adrian that the public has gotten sick of the damage caused by battles between superheroes and their foes. This irritates Toomes who complains that people are weak, and Spider-Man is the weakest one of them all because he refuses to use his powers to their fullest potential, namely using them for personal gain. That’s when his captors tell Adrian that he’ll get his chance to get revenge against Spider-Man as the hero has become problematic and needs to be made an example of. Giving Adian his Vulture costume, they explain that he has been selected to hunt down Spider-Man because it takes a thief to capture a thief.[5]

At this time, Peter Parker has used his image inducer to disguise himself so he can apply for his old job at Midtown High under the alias of Ben Reilly.[6] As Principal Roger Harrington goes over “Ben Reilly’s” forged credentials, Peter’s mind drifts back again to the events that led up to this moment.

…. To find a way to continue teaching at Midtown High without people knowing, Spider-Man has called up the X-Men for help. At a deconsecrated church, Spider-Man is disappointed that only the Beast has shown up. When he asks where the rest of the X-Men are, the Beast informs him that he was the only one to answer the call because the X-Men have taken a neutral stance in the Civil War that is going on within the superhuman community.[7] Although the X-Men can’t offer Spider-Man any direct help, Beast does give him an image inducer telling the web-slinger that the device could make things easier for him. Peter thanks McCoy for the device and as he swings away his spider-sense goes off. When Beast asks Spider-Man what’s wrong, the web-slinger finds a giant web-cocoon that has recently opened.[8]

As Peter finished his recollection, Harrington has finished going over “Ben Reilly’s” credentials. He tells “Ben” that all of their science positions have been filled but offers “Reilly” a job as an assistant to Flash Thompson, the school’s gym coach.[9] Even though he is less than happy to be working as Flash Thompson’s assistant, “Ben Reilly” accepts the job. As Peter walks down the street mulling over his problems, he notices a front-page story about Debra Whitman’s new book. Seeing the title of the book causes Peter to quickly rip the door of the newspaper box to get to the paper. At the same time, both Peter and the Vulture are reading the Daily Bugle’s cover of Debra Whitman’s book. The review from the Bugle paints the book as an exposé alleging that Spider-Man and Peter Parker ruined Debra’s life. Both men note that Debra is going to be in town for a book signing and decide to pay it a visit. For Peter, it will be a chance to confront Debra over the accusations in her book, and the Vulture the possibility that Spider-Man might show up.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Debra Whitman, Vulture, “Roger Harrington”, (in flashback) “Miss Arrow”, Beast

Continuity Notes

  1. Debra Whitman used to be part of Peter Parker’s life from Amazing Spider-Man #196 until Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man #74. The pair briefly dated and Debra had more than a few mental health issues stemming from a past abusive marriage. When she started hallucinating that Peter was Spider-Man, he actually revealed his identity to her in real life, basically gaslighting the poor woman. This apparently shocked her back into reality and she left New York to file for a divorce.

  2. Oh yeah, this story takes place shortly after Civil War #2 when Peter publicly revealed his identity as a show of solidarity for the Super-Human Registration Act.

  3. This flashback takes place shortly after Spider-Man’s battle with all three Mysterio’s in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #11-13.

  4. Mary Jane is referred to as Peter Parker’s wife here. However, not long after this, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, Miss Arrow would refer to Mary Jane as Peter’s fianceé instead of his wife.

  5. Spider-Man has “become a problem” because this story takes place after Amazing Spider-Man #535 when he renounced the Super-Human Registration Act, making him an outlaw.

  6. Ben Reilly is the name Peter Parker’s clone gave himself after his defeat at the hands of Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man #149 as revealed in Spectacular Spider-Man #223. The name is derived from the first name of Peter’s Uncle Ben, and Aunt May’s maiden name.

  7. For more on the X-Men’s neutrality during the Civil War check out Civil War #3 and Civil War: X-Men #1-4.

  8. This is the cocoon which the Other was gestating in following the events of The Other: Evolve or Die (Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #1-4, Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #19-22, Amazing Spider-Man #525-528) It’s later revealed that in issues #21-22 of this series that the Other has disguised itself as Miss Arrow.

  9. It should be noted that this is not the real Roger Harrington. He was murdered and replaced by the Chameleon of the year 2211 as revealed in Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #19.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #13

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #13

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #15

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #15