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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Hulk/Thing: Hard Knocks #1

Hulk/Thing: Hard Knocks #1

Tea For Two

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The Thing meets with Bruce Banner at the Hard Rock Cafe, a greasy spoon out in the middle of the desert of the American mid-west. With the Thing's arrival all the clients hit the road. Ben tells Banner that he has come on his own, and that he needs to talk. However he doesn't want to talk to Banner, he wants to talk to the Hulk. He then pushes Banner through the wall, triggering a transformation into the Hulk. The Hulk sits down to listen to what the Thing has to say. Ben explains that he was getting nostalgic, he begins talking about the Fantastic Four's first encounter with Doctor Doom...

The Fantastic Four have just returned from the past after they were forced to go there to recover the Merlin Stones for Doctor Doom. However instead of the stones, they have returned with a treasre chest filled with heavy chains, foiling Doom's plans to use the stones in the present. When Doom tries to fight back against them, the Thing piles onto Doom, but soon discovers that "Doom" is actually one of his Doombots.

The Hulk interrupts the story to ask the Thing what his point is. When Ben tells the Hulk to have patience, the Hulk throttles him. Ben takes it and asks the Hulk if he has any stories to tell. The Hulk begins to find this all so pointless and is about to walk away when the Thing convinces him to sit back down and continue telling his story...

... The Fantastic Four are trapped in a room with a limited quantity of air. Doctor Doom appears upon a screen and begins mocking the team for their failure to stop him. Doom takes a particular moment to mock the Thing and his monstrous appearance. This hits Grimm very hard, and he doesn't snap out of it until Mister Fantastic tells him that Sue has a plan to free them....

Ben pauses his story and it's Banner -- having reverted back to normal -- snaps him out of it. Ben insists that he needs to talk to the Hulk and knocks Banner through the wall again. This causes him to change into the Hulk again and the two come to blows. Their fight is interrupted when the Thing lands in front of a little girl who happens on the scene. Her horrified parents beg the Thing and the Hulk not to harm their daughter. This causes the two combatants to take pause. When Ben hands over the child, the mother curses them and drives away.

The Hulk has changed back to Banner again, who chastises Ben, telling him he should have expected that sort of reaction. Ben thought that Banner would be the guy to understand but decides that he was wrong and walks away. Banner goes back to the cafe, but decides that he should hear out Ben's story. He catches up with Ben, who strikes Banner one more time because he wants to talk to the Hulk. This gets Banner made enough that when he turns into the Hulk again he is spoiling for a fight and declares it to be Clobberin' Time.

Recurring Characters

Hulk, Thing, (flashback) Fantastic Four (Mister Fantastic, Invisible Girl, Human Torch), Doctor Doom

Continuity Notes

  • There has been a long standing feud between the Thing and the Hulk and they have clashed many times. As of this story these previous times are: Fantastic Four #12, Fantastic Four #25-26, Incredible Hulk #122, Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Comics Magazine #5, Fantastic Four #112, Incredible Hulk #153, Marvel Feature #11, Giant-Size Super-Stars #1, Fantastic Four #166-167, Rampaging Hulk Vol 2 #5, Marvel Two-In-One #46, Marvel Two-In-One Annual #5, Marvel Fanfare #21, Marvel Graphic Novel #29, Fantastic Four #320, Incredible Hulk #350, Incredible Hulk #365, and Incredible Hulk Annual #18, Fantastic Four #374, and Hulk #9.

  • The Thing's flashback takes place during the events of Fantastic Four #5.

  • The Thing states that their Fantastic Four's first clash with Doctor Doom happened fifteen years before this story. This isn't accurate, as the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 dictates that the length of time would actually be about 11 years between that story and the flashback.

Hulk: Gray #6

Hulk: Gray #6

Hulk/Thing: Hard Knocks #2

Hulk/Thing: Hard Knocks #2