Iron Man #253
Laughing All the Way to the Graveyard
In Los Angeles, Iron Man is passing by a local amusement park when the car on the roller coaster comes off the track on a loop-the-loop. He makes a quick rescue before speeding off because he is running late to meet up with Jim Rhodes.
Changing out of his armor, Tony Stark and Jim then go to the Funny Ville comedy club to see famous insult comic Joey Cosmatos. Noticing that Tony Stark is in the crowd, Cosmatos singles him out and makes him the butt of his jokes. Jim is surprised to see that Tony finds it incredibly funny instead of getting defensive.
After the show, Tony invites Joey back to his mansion because — as it turns out — the pair are old friends and Cosmatos went to school with him at MIT. However, rather than pursuing a career in technology, he discovered a knack for comedy and dropped out pursued that instead. Joey shows Tony a picture of his daughter Nichole who is now ten years old. As Joey puts himself down, Tony tries his best to convince Cosmatos that he is a talented man who has a lot to offer to the world. That’s when Joey reveals that he needs a large sum of money fast. He won’t explain why and when Tony refuses, Joey pulls a gun and threatens him with it. When Stark tells him to go ahead and shoot, Cosmatos realizes that he can’t and Tony tells him to get out before he calls the police.
As it turns out, Joey needed the money because some armed men had kidnapped his daughter and were holding her for ransom. Joey scrapes together all the money he can get and heads to where the kidnappers have taken his daughter. Little does he know that Tony Stark is following him from the air as Iron Man. Unfortunately, Iron Man’s intervention doesn’t help and the kidnappers manage to escape by using Nicole as a human shield to prevent pursuit. Joey is furious that Iron Man interfered with things and demands that Tony make it right by giving him the money he needs.
Back at the mansion, Tony now willingly gives Joey the money and that he would have before if Joey had been straight with him about why he needed it. When Stark offers to accompany his friend to the new drop off location, he refuses not wanting the situation get get any worse than it already is.
Joey then goes to Funny Ville where he meets with the ringleader behind his daughters kidnapping, a man named Desmond. Desmond is pleased that Joey brought the money and releases Nichole. However, their other part of their deal has now become null and void since Cosmatos got Iron Man involved earlier. When Joey balks at this, Desmond has his men force Joey on stage. He then threatens to kill him unless he can make the entire room laugh at his jokes. After a nervous start, Joey goes into material about organized crime that leaves the kidnappers in stitches.
That’s when Tony Stark enters the room and offers Desmond another large sum of money and himself in exchange for letting Joey and Nicole go free. Desmond is interested but has Stark open the attaché case of money to prove that there aren’t any boobytraps. When it appears safe, Desmond reaches for the cash when, suddenly, the case blows up in a puff of smoke. While Joey runs to save his daughter, Tony uses the smoke to cover his transformation into Iron Man. However, Desmond doesn’t see the Avenger as much of a threat. He summons his minion, Slagmire, into the room. Slagmire is wearing a modified version of the Iron Monger armor which Joey was modifying using his knowledge in robotics.
As Iron Man deals with the Iron Monger, the crooks try to recapture Joey and his daughter as hostages again. Luckily, Tony came with Jim Rhodes, who gets the drop on them with his gun. They are forced to surrender just as Iron Man knocks out the Iron Monger.
The next morning, Joey and Nicole pay a visit to Tony Stark where he explains how the kidnapping all went down. As it turns out, Desmond is a mobster who owns a number of comedy clubs that Joey works at. In his spare time, Joey got a hold of a pirated suit of Iron Monger armor and began tinkering with it in his free time. When Desmond found out, he kidnapped Nicole and forced him to finish the work as well as try to get ransom money from his famous friends. Since Joey doesn’t know any rich celebrities (comedians are obscenely underpaid) he had no choice but to go to Tony for help. Tony can’t help but be impressed with Joey’s work on the Iron Monger and offers him a job at Stark Enterprises. Joey is flattered but turns down the offer, wanting to continue his comedy career. That’s when Nicole complains that this conversation is less fun than a root canal and quips that being kidnapped was more exciting. Joey scolds his daughter, but Tony points out that the little girl has a knack for comedy just like her old man. This inspires Joey to consider doing a two person show with his daughter, without skipping a beat Nicole demands that she get top billing over her father.
Recurring Characters
Iron Man, Jim Rhodes
Topical References
The sum of money that Joey needs is stated as a million dollars. This should be considered a topical reference due to the Sliding Timescale and inflation. Adjusting for inflation this amount would be closer to 2.2 million in 2022 money.
