64705678_10157722991506490_777492954360053760_o.jpg

Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #1

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #1

20 20 06 23 %h 53 00 k3q5x.png

Down Among the Dead Men Part One

Two men open their restaurant for the day, discussing the state of media content. When one of them goes to throw out last night’s trash into the alley, he finds Spider-Man passed out on the ground. The think the web-slinger is just a crazy person and they can barely hear him warning them to go back inside for their safety. That’s when the Green Goblin swoops down and tosses a pumpkin bomb at the web-slinger.[1] Spider-Man quickly gets up and yanks both men to safety. The Goblin then tries to ram Spider-Man with his Goblin Glider, but Spider-Man latches on. As they fight in the air, Spider-Man thinks about how this all started when the Goblin took an entire church hostage and demanded that Spider-Man cut himself on national television. Naturally, Spider-Man refused to do any such thing, leading to this current battle between the pair.[2] Spider-Man ends up defeating the Goblin in combat and begins webbing him to a lamp post. As he is busy, a bystander ignores his warning to keep away from the Goblin’s pumpkin bombs and they blow up in his face. The crowd quickly turns on Spider-Man at this point and they threaten to call the cops on him. As the police and paramedics arrive on the scene, Spider-Man takes the opportunity to take off.

Peter Parker eventually arrives in Queens to make his appointment to help his Aunt May move. Seeing how rough shape Peter is in, May and Mary Jane help him into the house after paying the cab driver who brought him home. However, it’s not fast enough and Peter rushes to the kitchen to throw up in the sink. When May suggests they take Peter to the hospital, Mary Jane assures her that Peter will be fine after some pain killers and some time to heal. While May is unnerved by Peter’s injuries, Mary Jane is unphased as this is normal to her by now and she is more interested in knowing how Peter saved the hostages. That’s when May realizes she needs to record the news footage of Norman Osborn’s arrest, telling Peter she keeps recordings of all of his battles. Peter also finds recordings of Iron Man, whom May admits she finds attractive as he looks like an actor from her youth. After patching himself up, Peter helps May pack up her belongings.[3] Packing up the house has May thinking about how many memories she has of her late husband, Ben Parker, who was murdered in this very home.[4] When Peter asks May if she is having second thoughts about selling the house, she says that she is certain she wants to move, to allow the house become home to a family again. Getting one last look at his old bedroom, Peter can’t believe he’s giving it up, and reminisces over everything he used to do to hide his double-life from Aunt May in those days.[5] Both are looking forward to living in the same apartment though, with Peter saying that it is the smartest idea they have come up with in years. As they hug, they are unaware that they are being observed by someone hanging upside down from a tree across the street.[6]

The next day, Peter Parker is teaching his science class when one of the students asks about his former career as a photographer. Peter tries to deflect the conversation when another student points out that Peter is married to Mary Jane Watson, a super-model. This leads to an argument about Peter’s marital status. Thankfully, Peter is able to get out of these increasingly personal questions when he is told that there is a call for him in the office.[7] The phone call brings him to the site of his Uncle Ben’s grave, which has been shattered to pieces.[8] The caretaker suspects that this was the work of young vandals. When Peter asks if his Aunt May was contacted, he said they didn’t have her new number in the city yet. That’s when Peter’s cell phone begins to ring. However, instead of his Aunt May, it’s a man who reveals that he knows that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. When Peter denies this, the man reveals that he was the one who vandalized his Uncle’s grave and then hints that he has Aunt May. With no concern for his secret identity, Peter web-slings all the way back into the city to check on his Aunt. Smashing through the window of her new apartment, Peter is shocked to see the entire place has been trash and there is no sign of Aunt May.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Green Goblin, Aunt May, Mary Jane Watson, Scorpion (unidentified)

Continuity Notes

1. When the Green Goblin was last seen in The Pulse #5, he was being arrested for murder. It’s later clarified All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #1, Norman escaped prison following that arrest, hence explaining why he is on the loose again here.

2. Mention is made of the truce between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin. This was made in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #47.

3. Peter finds the engagement ring that was given to May by Doctor Octopus. Believe it or not, May almost married Otto Octavius. Don’t believe me? Check out Amazing Spider-Man #131.

UncleBen.gif

4. Uncle Ben was murdered in Amazing Fantasy #15.

5. Peter kept his double-identity a secret from Aunt May for years. May only recently discovered the truth in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #35.

6. This mystery man is revealed to be the Scorpion in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #9

7. There is a lot of details about Peter Parker’s personal life brought up here. The facts arc:

  • Peter did take pictures of Spider-Man in the past — mostly for the Daily Bugle — starting in Amazing Spider-Man #2. At the time of this story, Peter left his job as a freelance photographer to become a science teacher at Midtown High in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #31.

  • Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife. The couple did get married in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #21. However, not long after this story, their marriage was erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the altered timeline, the children would be discussing how Peter is engaged to Mary Jane as opposed to the couple being married.

  • They also mention how Peter and Mary Jane went through a brief separation. This stared in Amazing Spider-Man Annual 2001 and Mary Jane went to Hollywood to try and restart her career. Peter and Mary Jane eventually got back together in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #50.

8. Peter mentions that his father died when he was still young. Richard and Mary Parker, Peter’s parents, were government agents who were killed in the line of duty while Peter was still a child as seen in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5.

Topical References

  • One of the men who find Spider-Man in the alley states that he just saw Legally Blonde 2. This movie came out the year before this comic was published. He also states that he watched it on DVD, while you can still go out and buy a DVD as I write this (June 2020), they are not as ubiquitous as they were in 2004. They also talk about VHS tapes, vinyl records, and Compact Discs. Topical, topical, and topical.

  • May is recording Spider-Man and Iron Man’s exploits on VHS tape. This is topical because nobody uses VHS anymore.

  • May compares Tony Stark to actor Ronald Colman who an English actor who got his start in the silent film era and later moved to Hollywood when they started making “talkies”. He died in 1958. May is said to be in her 70s in this story, which would make her comment age-appropriate. However, as the Sliding Timescale bumps the modern age forward, it would be increasingly unlikely for May to be a fan of let alone know who Ronald Colman is without looking him up on Wikipedia like I just did.

  • Characters throughout this story can be seen watching CNN for news coverage. This is a topical reference as CNN is a real-life network.

  • Some of the office workers seen when Peter is swinging across the city are depicted using computers with CRT monitors. These are also topical as those types of monitors are hella old (About as old as saying “hella”)

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man/Sensational Spider-Man Primer

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man/Sensational Spider-Man Primer

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #2

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #2