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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #6

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #6

Venomous Part Two

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After taking down Doctor Octopus, Spider-Man finds himself swarmed by an NYPD SWAT team that are attempting to arrest him as well as unmask him and claim the reward the Daily Bugle is offering for Spider-Man’s identity. However, despite the fact that he just got out of the hospital, Spider-Man easily fights off the officers and makes his escape. The SWAT team tries to shoot them until Detective William Lamont orders them to stand down and orders them to get Doctor Octopus back in the truck before he writes them all up. Hearing that they were going to run some tests on Doctor Octopus, Spider-Man wonders what they meant.

He tells all of this to Mary Jane when they meet up for lunch at a diner, and she is shocked to hear that police officers were trying to take off his mask. When she asks if Peter got any pictures, he tells her that he didn’t get any good ones and e-mailed them off, but hasn’t heard anything yet. He considers going to the Daily Bugle and work his charm if he doesn’t hear anything, even though Mary Jane is concerned that Jonah might make a connection between Peter and the photo of a partially unmasked Spider-Man that they recently published.[1] Meanwhile, Mary Jane has been investigating who may have kidnapped Aunt May,[2] she has determined that twenty-eight of Peter’s foes are out there, but Venom is still at the top of her list of suspects.[3] She also heard from the Black Cat who had information about a big meeting going on uptown that evening. She doesn’t know what it’s all about, but Eddie Brock is in the center of it, adding to her. suspicions. When Peter once more expresses his concerns for Mary Jane’s safety,[4] she tells him that she refuses to allow herself to end up like Gwen Stacy.[5] Peter doesn’t like it but has to accept that she is not going to leave town.[6]

Meanwhile, J. Jonah Jameson arrives in his office and finds someone dressed up as Spider-Man in his office. The “web-slinger” says that he has come to cash in on the price Jonah put out for Spider-Man’s secret identity. The man unmasks himself and identifies himself as Otis Kincaid, an insurance broker. Knowing this is yet another in a long line of cranks, Jameson calls security and has Kincaid removed from the building. Outside, Peter Parker is passing time with Betty Brant before going in to see Jonah. Peter asks about the reward Jonah is offering for Spider-Man’s identity, and Jameson says that he’s not going to argue when a billionaire donates the money to help with a publicity stunt.[7] Peter then asks about the photos of Doctor Octopus he submitted the night before, Jonah tells him that they were crap and couldn’t use them. That’s when Jonah’s son, John, enters the room. Peter is glad to see him and learns that he is still working at the Department of Social Services in Queens. Jonah, however, makes a point to say that John is going back to the Air Force as an instructor. As he prepares to go for lunch with his son, Jonah tells Peter that he knows that he and Mary Jane are having money problems and offers to pay him $500 for a photo of Spider-Man slipping in dog shit. When Peter asks how Jonah knows about their money problems, he tells her that his supermodel wife’s money problems are tomorrow’s front-page story.

With no other leads on Aunt May’s kidnapping, Spider-Man returns to Ryker’s Island to question Norman Osborn some more. Although he is convinced that Norman didn’t have anything to do with the kidnapping, he wants to pick Osborn’s brain to try and see the kidnapping from the perspective of a criminal mind. Norman is amused and decides to answer Spider-Man’s question with an anecdote.[8] He tells Peter about one of the guards in the prison that has been nice to him since his incarceration. Suspecting that the guard wanted something, Norman was unsurprised when a few days later he told a sob story about how his wife has been sick for the past six years despite doctors being unable to find the illness. Knowing that Osborn was a genius bio-chemist, the guard asks him to look at her charts. Osborn was able to make a diagnosis and provide a series of home remedies that made her better — at least for a little while. He then tells Spider-Man that the woman’s symptoms returned 10 times worse than before, within a week she had gone totally blind, and last he heard she was in the hospital needing a machine to breathe. Osborn figures that she’ll be dead by the end of the week. Concluding his store, Norman Osborn asks Spider-Man why he should help him when he condemned Norman to this cell where his business is in jeopardy and his life in danger. Spider-Man, his spider-sense buzzing, doesn’t understand what he is talking about. Osborn reminds him that they were doing something to Doctor Octopus and at this very moment, people are burglarizing every one of his businesses.

Later, Peter checks in with Aunt May and learns that there are no developments, only Liz Osborn trying to get Peter to come to his high school reunion.[9] Spider-Man then swings to the Xavier Institute where he is welcomed by one of the students who invites him into the gates.[10] After answering his questions and concerns, the student then introduces him to Rachel Grey, who tells him that Emma Frost is off with her father and the other X-Men dealing with a new mutant in San Antonio. After reacquainting herself to Spider-Man, Rachel brings him into a private room where she can work on trying to learn more about Aunt May’s disappearance.[11] Give May’s engagement ring, Rachel instantly begins picking up psychic imprints and sees the moment in which May was kidnapped. Although Rachel witnesses the kidnapping, she doesn’t know who did it. All she can say is that both he and May knew who he was and that he is no longer human anymore.[12] She also reluctantly tells Spider-Man that she thinks that May Parker might be dead.[13]

Elsewhere, supervillains are gathering at the Ditko Theater. Outside, Hydro-Man and his girlfriend Sadie Frickett brag about how Kraven the Hunter sold them a fur coat made out of the Avenger known as Tigra and that he is offering to make them a handbag made out of the Lizard’s hide. Sandman points out that Hydro-Man is being conned, saying he just heard that Tigra recently teamed up with Wonder Man on the west coast against Boomerang. Not far away, the Shocker is greeting Don Fortunato who says that he has come to this auction for his son Angelo. The Shocker tells them that this auction will give him the opportunity to buy a little respectability. Soon all of the gathered villains are sitting in the main theater. The Tinkerer takes his position at the auctioneer’s podium and tells them that they will be bidding for the Venom symbiote, which is being sold by Eddie Brock.[14] Brock is said to be dying of cancer have a religious epiphany to sell the symbiote[15] and intends to donate the money to charity, figuring some good needs to come out of it as the symbiote would just find another host after he dies.[16] After Brock has the symbiote show itself, the betting begins at ten million dollars.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Venom, Mary Jane Watson, J. Jonah Jameson, John Jameson, Betty Brant, Marvel Girl, Doctor Octopus, Norman Osborn, Hydro-Man, Sandman, Shocker, Yith, Owl, Scorcher, Knight, Fogg, Femme Fatales (Whiplash, Mindblast, Bloodlust, Knockout), Nekra, White Rabbit, Speed Demon, Stilt-Man, Don Fortunato, Angelo Fortunato, Tinkerer, Platoon, Corona, Chance, Bloodscream, Roughouse, Goldbug, Elf with a Gun, Looter, Mysterio, William Lamont, Fantastic Four (Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Thing), Franklin Richards, Sadie Frickett, Scott Summers, Logan, Emma Frost, (in flashback) Rhino, Scorpion (unidentified), Aunt May

Continuity Notes

1. The photo of Spider-Man partially unmasked was taken while he was in the hospital after a battle with Electro in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #3. It was published in the Bugle in the following issue.

2. Aunt May was kidnapped in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #1, the real kidnapper is revealed to be the Scorpion in issue #9.

3. Mary Jane’s lead suspect isn’t a very good one. While Amazing Spider-Man #300 states that Eddie Brock learned all of Spider-Man’s secrets when he first bonded to the alien symbiote, he had since forgotten due to a blow to the head in Spider-Man: The Venom Agenda #1. The symbiote still knows, but it’s not sharing this information with Eddie.

4. Peter and Mary Jane are depicted wearing wedding rings. However, not long after this story, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In the new timeline, they wouldn’t be wedding rings. At least Mary Jane would be wearing an engagement ring.

5. Gwen Stacy was Peter’s former girlfriend who was murdered by the Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man #121 because he knew that Spider-Man was really Peter Parker — well that was one of the reasons, the other was that she was the mother of his illegitimate children as revealed in Amazing Spider-Man #509-514.

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6. Peter evokes poor dead Uncle Ben. Amazing Fantasy #15.

7. Jonah mocks Peter for being a high school teacher. Peter had stopped working for the Bugle after taking on a position as a science teacher at Midtown High in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #31.

8. Spider-Man mentions how Norman Osborn has known he was Spider-Man from “almost the beginning”, the Green Goblin discovered Spider-Man’s secret identity in Amazing Spider-Man #39.

9. Peter Parker graduated from high school in Amazing Spider-Man #28. Per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616, Peter graduated roughly 11 years prior to this story.

10. Spider-Man makes references to a few things that are part of recent X-Men history:

  • He refers to Jean Grey in the past tense. This is because, at the time of this story, Jean was killed during a battle with Xorn in New X-Men #150. She will eventually return to life in Phoenix Resurrection: The Return of Jean Grey #1-5.

  • Spider-Man asks if they are concerned about the public knowing about Xavier’s school. Xavier publicly revealed his school for mutants in New X-Men #116.

11. There are also a bit of history between Rachel and Spider-Man that is mentioned here as the pair get reacquainted:

  • Rachel points out that she and Spider-Man have met before. The pair first met each other in Marvel Team-Up #150.

  • Rachel says she is the daughter of Scott Summers and Jean Grey from a parallel future timeline that no longer exists. Rachel cames from a possible future where mutants are nearly wiped out by mutant-hunting Sentinels, as seen in X-Men #141. That reality was classified as Earth-811 per Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #2. Rachel’s assessment that it “no longer exists” is not accurate as that reality has been revisited in Paradise X: Heralds #1 and Exiles #85. More accurately, it could be said that Earth-811 is not long considered the future of Earth-616.

  • Spider-Man makes a joke about all his clones no longer being far fetched. This is a reference to the Clone Saga which ran from Web of Spider-Man #117 to Spider-Man #75. During that period of time Peter Parker discovered that the Jackal made thousands of clones of him. Most of those clones were destroyed.

12. It’s later revealed in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #9, the kidnapper is identified as the Scorpion.

13. Rachel is partially right, as we’ll learn in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #12, May has been buried alive in Ben Parker’s grave.

14. The Tinkerer mentions how the Vulture was recently horribly maimed by the Black Cat under orders of the Owl. That happened in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #4.

15. Eddie Brock thinks he has cancer but it turns out he doesn’t. It’s later revealed in Venom (vol. 4) #11, the symbiote is manipulating Eddie Brock into thinking he has cancer as part of some half-assed scheme to make Brock more dependant upon the symbiote. Even though Brock loses the symbiote for a time, it eventually sort of works.

16. At the time of this story, there were many people who were active under the Mysterio identity. According to the Mysterio entry in the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A-Z #8, this Mysterio is confirmed to be Daniel Burkhart.

Topical References

  • Osborn states that the guard’s wife was suffering from “lymphatic congestion” otherwise known as Fibromyalgia. He also states that it is an illness most doctors dismiss as a real ailment. While that may be the case at the time this story was published in 2004, medical understanding of the illness has increased in the time passed so any diagnosis that Osborn is making her should be considered topical as it is outdated.

  • The Tinkerer states that Eddie Brock was inspired by a “certain Mel Gibson film” to sell the symbiote. This is a reference to the 2004 film The Passion of the Christ. It was basically 2 hours of Christian torture porn.

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #7

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #7