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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Marvel Mystery Comics #77

Marvel Mystery Comics #77

The Golden Calf Murders

The Human Torch receives a phone call from John Bascomb who has just received a note threatening his life over something involving a golden calf. Rushing to the scene, the Torch and Toro are too late to stop Bascomb from being fatally shot. In addition to this, a sudden phosphorus explosion briefly blinds the two heroes, covering the shooter’s escape and obscuring their identity. When they recover from the flash of light, the pair examine the crime scene and find a golden calf statue that appears to have been part of some strange ceremony. Examining the calf statue has its golden fabric cut as though the “heart” was ripped out of the animal.

That’s when John’s daughter Elaine returns home his brother Roger and her fianceé Bob Fielding. The Torch and Toro learn that John made it rich in the 1920s when he found gold in Peru. Roger explains that his brother had named him, Elaine, as well as a woman named Thelma Adams in his will and that her brother Malcolm was John’s lawyer. Questioning the family members present, the pair find that they all had alibis for the murder and so they decide to investigate the Thelma and Malcolm Adams. They visit Elaine first who appears to be deeply upset about John’s murder. Elaine tells them that she has had constant visitors at her home up until 2 hours ago who can confirm she had been home the whole time, while her brother is in Chicago.

With no obvious suspects, the Torch decides to go to the local museum to investigate the origins of the strange golden calf. There he and Toro learn that this was an idol worshiped by the Amzulcos an ancient Peruvian tribe. As it turns out the tribe would sacrifice their enemies to the calf for revenge and that the sacrifice also marks the members of the victim’s family for death. Suspecting that someone might target the rest of the Bascomb family, the Torch calls the police to have the family protected.

The pair then learn where one can buy these calf statues and go to the only shop in the city that sells them. The shopkeeper tells the Torch that he sold three such statues recently, but before he can reveal the identity of the buyer he is killed by a similar phospherencent bullet. With the killer’s identity still a mystery, the Torch then goes to the library to investigate the history of John Bascomb’s gold mine. There they learn that John won sole ownership of the mine after a lengthy legal battle against his former business partner, Kenneth Feilding. Remembering that Fielding was the same last name as Elaine’s husband-to-be, they fear there might be some relation between the two and so the Torch and Toro rush back to the Bascomb apartment.

When they arrive on the scene they find no trace of Bob and that Roger has been murdered by the same means as his brother. The police soon capture Bob, who was found passed out in some shrubs. He denies murdering anyone and claims that he was knocked out by someone. Still, the police arrest him as the most likely suspect. Still, the Torch fears for Elaine’s safety and suggests that she be put in police custody. The Torch and Toro then head to the police chemist to see if he has finished examining the crime scene evidence. Meanwhile, Thelma Adams hears the news about Roger’s murder and is pleased. She then gets a phone call from her friend Ed, who has been posing as her brother Malcolm in Chicago. As it turns out she masterminded this whole scheme and her brother has been living in a nearby hideout.

Meanwhile, the Human Torch and Toro learn that a strange perfume found at the murder scenes has been identified as being made by the Monterose Perfumery. The two flaming heroes rush there to find out who sold the perfume. To their surprise, they find Malcolm Adams and realizes that he was responsible for the murders. As they try to apprehend Malcolm, Ed — Malcolm’s cousin —arrives and uses the phosphorus gas to knock out the Torch and Toro. The pair are then doused in flame retardant and tied to the machinery that crushes plants to be used in perfume. As the Adams trio begin plotting how to eliminate Elaine, the Torch notices that one of the plants contains one of the active ingredients in turpentine and quickly has Toro toss some of it ahead of them on the plant press. When the crusher causes the plants to spray the pair with fluid that negates the chemicals preventing them from flaming on. Free from this deathtrap, the Torch and Toro arrive at the hotel room where the police have Elaine hidden and prevent the Adams family from murdering her.

Recurring Characters

Human Torch, Toro


The Last Voyage of Cap’n Frome!

Captain Frome, an elderly sea captain, has plotted a expedition of the north. Unfortunately, the ship gets trapped in the frozen ice. With most of the crew having been washed overboard, the Captain and his remaining crew are forced to abandon ship but Frome vows to come back to his ship and complete his mission.

A number of seasons later, in the whaling town of New Bedford, Captain Frome and his granddaughter Betty are passing by a bar when someone is thrown outside. Inside, a man named Wrecker Rasker had tossed the man out for cheating. Rasker is then approached by Captain Frome who explains he is looking to gather a crew to help him recover his ship and its cargo. Hearing the cargo is a shipment of ambergris estimated to be worth a million dollars, Wrecker agrees to join the expedition.

Meanwhile, the Sub-Mariner is at a nearby museum where he is shown an exhibit of a rare species of blue whale that they wish to find and examine. Unfortunately, the whale is highly aggressive and is known for attacking ships and eating men. Liking the challenge of capturing such a dangerous specimen, the Sub-Mariner agrees to help find the blue whale. He heads to New Bedford to try and hitch a ride on a whaling ship but learns that the he just missed the Sea Dog, which just left port. Diving into the water, Namor decides to try and catch up with the Sea Dog. Namor’s approach is observed by Wrecker Rasker and his crew who fear that the hero might interfere with their plan to rob Captain Frome of his shipment of ambergris.

They welcome Namor on board, but instantly attack him. Despite the Sub-Mariner’s superior strength he is outnumbered and quickly overpowered. Seeing this unprovoked fight, Frome demands to know what is going on and he and his daughter are also overpowered and locked below deck with Namor. Weakened from the attack, Namor needs water to revive his strength. Thankfully, something rocks the boat causing water to splash into the hold, coming into contact with Namor. This revives his strength, allowing him to break free. Going above deck, the Sub-Mariner discovers that the ship is being attacked by the blue whale he was looking for. With the ship crew unable to deal with the whale, the Sub-Mariner grabs a harpoon and leaps into the water and fights the creature to death. Returning to the ship, Namor rounds up Wrecker Rasker and the members of the crew loyal to him.

Learning why Captain Frome’s expedition, Namor agrees to help him find his long lost ship. However, once they get close to their destination, Rasker and his men break free and take control of the ship, tying up Namor again in the process. However, one his his guards makes the mistake of splashing the Sub-Mariner with water, reviving his strength once more. He then catches up to Rasker and his men who are being led across an iceberg to the stranded ship by Captain Frome. Although Namor rescues Frome and his granddaughter, gunshots from Wrecker Rasker and his men cause an avalanche that buries the crooks and the ship, making the supply of ambergris lost for good. This upsets captain Frome because he is too old to keep on whaling.

Thankfully, Namor comes up with a solution by getting Frome a job at the museum where his years of whaling will come in handing educating people about whales.

Recurring Characters:

Sub-Mariner


An Unwelcome Visitor

This story is continued from last issue…

Sent to Buenos Aires to find a missing counter-espionage agent named Ted Banning and the information he gathered on Nazi war criminals. There she has met a writer named Peter Carr who she suspects might have some connection to her mission. She soon arrives at the Grand Pallazio hotel to keep a date with Carr in her civilian guise of Madelyne Joyce. As the pair talk, two men get into an argument and bump in Madelyne, but they are kicked out before a fight breaks out. Continuing their conversation, Madelyne explains that she has come to Buenos Aires to deliver a bracelet to the daughter of a woman she knows. That’s when she sees the reflection of a man standing behind her and recognizes him as a man who was spying on her before she left New York City. When the man leaves the ballroom, Madelyne abruptly leaves despite protests from Peter not to go.

She tries to follow this man —Manuel — has one of his associates deal with the woman who is following him. Although this other man tries to strike Madelyne with a blackjack, she sees it and is able to avoid the full brunt of the blow. When nobody is looking she changes into Miss America and follows the men and finds them rifling through her hotel room trying to find the bracelet she brought with her from America. In the ensuing battle, the men knock out Miss America but are forced to flee. Hearing Peter coming, Madelyne quickly changes out of her costume convinces him that she is not feeling well and gets him to leave her to rest. It is here she notices that the initials embroidered on his gloves are “J.R.” and suspects that Peter Carr is not the man he claims to be. She then changes back into Miss America to continue her investigation.

Meanwhile, Manuel has returned to his employers Mr. and Mrs. Ilse who wish to inform them of Miss America’s interference. They are unconcerned as their other operative will be able to deal with the American. When they hear a knock at the door the couple welcome Peter Carr into the room to discuss plans with him.

Recurring Characters

Miss America, Peter Carr, Mrs. Ilse , James Ilse


Menace at Midnight

Mrs. Van Slocum comes to an employment agency looking to hire a competent butler and maid to work at her mansion. She is unaware that the man is a crook who sends his two best thieves to fill those jobs. The maid is a woman named Laura, who unfortunately has caught the eye of Knuckles O’Toole of the Young Allies. Smitten by the attractive blonde, Knuckles keeps on coming by the Van Slocum mansion in an attempt to court Laura into going out with him. Annoyed with the young man’s constant unannounced visits, Laura has her partner chase Knuckles away. The other Young Allies witness Knuckles being attacked in the street and come to the aid of their teammate. However, this has done little to dissuade Knuckles from pursuing the girl and he follows Laura back to the employment agency. There he overhears Laura and her boss plotting to rob the Van Slocums. Unfortunately, Knuckles is caught and tied up before he can warn anyone.

Later that evening, the Young Allies have a meeting and are concerned that Knuckles hasn’t shown up without telling them. Thinking he might have succeeded in getting Laura to go out on a date with him, they go to the maid and butler’s ball that is happening that evening. There they spot Laura with the butler who attacked Knuckles earlier that day and decide to question them about their friend. Toro flies ahead of the others and discovers Laura and the others robbing the Van Slocum mansion and rushes in to stop them. When the thieves flee they find the rest of the Young Allies ready for them outside. With the gangs rounded up, they free Knuckles and discover that he hadn’t been love-sick at all. He quickly noticed that Laura had worked for three different homes that were later robbed and realized she was casing the places for her boss. He then continued the charade in order to learn more about how their operation worked.

Recurring Characters

Young Allies (Bucky, Toro, Knuckles O’Toole, Tubby Tinkle)

Continuity Notes

  • This story presents Bucky as though he is the original, aka James Barnes. However, as per Avengers #4, Bucky went MIA with the original Captain America in 1945. As explained in What If? #4 the United States government covered this up by recruiting successors. The Bucky here is actually Fred Davis.


Without Warning!

The Angel pays a visit to Commissioner Weston who invites the hero to visit of the famous Brindhoff Diamond that is being put on exhibit at the local museum. At the museum, the Angel is impressed with the level of security, but he soon spots Dapper Dan and members of the Cordeli gang casing the place. Suddenly, the crooks put on gas-masks and unleash tear gas. While everyone is affected by the gas, the crooks steal the Brindnhoff Diamond and flee the scene.

Once the room is cleared out, the Angel changes into costume and begins a manhunt for the thieves. First he pays a visit to Ape Cordeli. The Angel beats on Ape until he admits that the Cordeli gang planned the heist and that they took it to their hideout at the waterfront. The Angel then ambushes the rest of the gang in the basement of the Blue Jay Inn. However, while the Angel is busy with the rest of the gang one of them — a man named Duke — tries to flee the scene. Unfortunately for Duke, the Angel makes short work of the rest of the gang and corners him in an alley. Unwilling to fight it out, the crooks surrenders to the Angel and hands over the diamond without incident.

Recurring Characters

Angel

Marvel Mystery Comics #76

Marvel Mystery Comics #76

Marvel Mystery Comics #78

Marvel Mystery Comics #78