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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #1

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #1

Power Without Responsibility

Peter Parker has retired as Spider-Man, and after months out of the webs.[1] Sent on an assignment to photograph a clash between the authorities and a terrorist organization called the Agents of Anarchy, Peter is shocked to see Spider-Man battling the terrorists and their leader, the mysterious man named Ranger. Peter is impressed that this new wall-crawler is able to hold their own just as well as he could of. Thanks to his own spider-powers, Peter is able to get close enough to the battle to take a photo of this new wall-crawler.[2] However, while the new wall-crawler is busy, one of the terrorists manages to free Ranger from the police armored car he was being transported in. Unfortunately, Peter’s warnings come too late as Ranger breaks free of his handcuffs and quickly flees the scene. With the battle over, Spider-Man recognizes Peter as one of the people he saved from the Scorpion’s attack on TriCorp.[3] That’s when the authorities arrive on the scene and while they are busy detaining Peter, Spider-Man makes his escape.[4] Before they can arrest Peter, Betty Brant arrives on the scene and vouches that he is a photographer on assignment for the Daily Bugle. After Peter is released, the pair rush back to the Daily Bugle so their story can get published.

Back at the Daily Bugle, Betty Brant is upset that J. Jonah Jameson written an editorial that accuses Spider-Man of helping the terrorists. Peter and Joe Robertson step back at the two argue over the story. It ends with Jonah telling Betty that if she doesn’t like the Bugle’s editorial policy on Spider-MAn she can quit and goes back to his office. After Jonah is gone, Joe assures Betty that her story will be published unchanged and reminds her that her next assignment is interviewing Senator Stewart Ward. Joe also assigns Peter to take photos for the story. When he remarks about how quickly Ward has surged in popularity and people are already talking about him going into the running in the next presidential election, he tells the two of them to go looking to see if there are any skeletons in his closet. Betty suggests that they go for coffee but Peter gets an important message and tells her that he has to go check on his Aunt May, who isn’t feeling very well.[5]

Meanwhile, at the hotel room of Stewart Ward in Chicago, the Senator is suddenly called out by a voice calls out from the television. It accuses him of murdering innocent people and that their blood is on his hands and that he will pay. Angered by this introducing voice, he tosses his drink at the television causing enough noise to bring his security detail in with their guns drawn. When they ask Ward what’s wrong, he assures them that everything is fine, acting as though nothing happened at all.[6]

Back in New York, Peter is unable to reach his Aunt May and becomes worried about her. He decides the fast way to check on her is to use his spider-powers to get across the city to the apartment where they live. When he arrives he discovers that Aunt May is fine and that she had been on the phone the whole time with Anna Watson. When May hangs up, Peter asks her what the message was all about and she tells him that Mary Jane had called and she’s coming back from her photoshoot earlier than planned. The next day, Peter and Jill Stacy go to JFK airport to wait for Mary Jane to arrive. When she comes off the plane, Mary Jane rushes to kiss Peter.[7] After the warn welcome home, Peter notices a security detail and Mary Jane tells him that it’s Senator Ward. That’s when Peter notices something else, there is someone lurking in the shadows nearby. This turns out to be Ranger who leaps out of his hiding place telling Ward that his time has run out.

His spider-sense ringing out of control, Peter leads Mary Jane and Jill away from the danger. As they flee the clash between Ranger and Ward’s security, Peter finds himself fighting over his sense of responsibility, reminding himself of how his inaction once led to the death of his Uncle Ben.[8] That’s when the new Spider-Man suddenly leaps onto the scene much to the surprise of not only Peter but Mary Jane as well. As Spider-Man clashes with Ranger, Senator Ward is rushed aboard his plane by his security. As the fight rages on Peter can’t help but be concerned that his successor is spending more time talking than fighting. Even though Spider-Man is attached to his back, Ranger runs through a window to the tarmac below. There he incapacitates Spider-Man and blasts the remaining security guards. Despite his promise to Mary Jane, Peter leaps down and ambushes Ranger, punching him in the face. Although Peter pulls his punch, Ranger barely feels it, but this creates enough of a distraction for Spider-Man to recover and beats Ranger into submission. Watching it, Peter can’t help but notice that Spider-Man seems to be acting like a humiliated child lashing out after being embarrassed. That’s when Spider-Man notices and tells Peter to stop following him before fleeing the scene. With the battle now over police arrive on the scene as well as the press. As Mary Jane hugs her husband, Peter now wonders why Ranger was going after Senator Ward and has a feeling he’s not going to like whatever he finds out.

Recurring Characters

Peter Parker, “Spider-Man”, Ranger, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Betty Brant, Stuart Ward, Aunt May, Mary Jane Watson

Continuity Notes

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  1. Peter promised Mary Jane that he would retire as Spider-Man following the Final Chapter story arc.

  2. Peter stops himself from considering the possibility that this is a clone of Spider-Man. This is a reference to the lengthy Clone Saga that dominated the Spider-Book for the past two years of publications prior to this story.

  3. The new Spider-Man fought Scorpion at TriCorp in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1

  4. This new Spider-Man isn’t a man at all. As revealed in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #2, this is actually Mattie Franklin, who got her spider-powers during the Gathering of Five story arc.

  5. Peter is depicted getting this message on a pager. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 as pagers are an obsolete technology.

  6. The deaths referenced here are innocent people that died in a European market years ago when Stewart Ward unintentionally unleashed a Z’Nox pathogen on them. This was revealed in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #23.

  7. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife here. However, years later, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such they should be considered a common-law couple here.

  8. Blah blah blah, Uncle Ben, yadda yadda Great Power, etc, etc. Amazing Fantasy #15.

Memories

Peter Parker thinks back to the early days he had come to live with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben.[1] He remembers that it was a warm summer night and while most children in the neighborhood were outside playing, Peter was inside reading books. That’s when Aunt May suggests that Peter go down to the corner store and get some ice cream they can all have once Uncle Ben gets home from work.

Peter’s excitement quickly dies when he goes outside and the children begin teasing him for being an orphan. He puts on a strong face until he gets around the corner and allows himself to cry. Once he got the tears out of his system, Peter continues to the store, he begins fantasizing that his parents aren’t dead and that they will come back someday and the kids will stop teasing him. After buying the ice cream, Peter leaves the store and is delighted when he crosses paths with his Uncle Ben.

One their way back home there was a sudden blackout and Peter became afraid of the dark. Thankfully, Uncle Ben has a flashlight on his keychain and with it they make their way safely home. When they arrive on their street, Peter discovers that the other neighborhood children are afraid of the dark as well. Seeing the upset children, Ben goes to calm them down and seeing all the other kids looking up to him, Peter realizes that he does have father, his Uncle Ben. Soon the other parents come out of their home to retrieve their children. One of them, a pretty redhead, tells Peter that he is lucky. That evening Peter, his Uncle Ben and his Aunt May all ate ice cream by candlelight and from that day forward Peter prayed that he would grow up to be half the man his Uncle Ben was.

Relating this story to Mary Jane and Aunt May now, Mary Jane asks Peter why he hasn’t told that story before. He explains that he never really thought about it until the evening snowstorm knocked out the electricity just now. Aunt May figures that the real reason is that the dark brings people together in strange ways.

Recurring Characters

Peter Parker, Aunt May, Uncle Ben, Mary Jane Watson

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter states that this story takes place a year after his parents died. Richard and Mary Parker were killed in action while on a mission for the CIA as explained in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #2

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #2