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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #3

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #3

Eyewitness

This story continues from Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #3…

On a snowy January morning in Midtown Manhattan, Betty Brant interviews eyewitnesses that were on hand to see one of Spider-Man’s most recent battles.[1] The first person she interviews is a man named Mister Snagel who tells her his firsthand account of Spider-Man and Iceman’s battle with Shadrac…

… By this point, Spider-Man had webbed up Shadrac and in order to keep his flame powers from completely consuming his body, Iceman of the X-Men unleashed the full force of his mutant powers. The intense cold being poured into Shadrac’s circulatory system was powerful enough to easily drop the surrounding temperature by about ten degrees. Suddenly, there is an explosion within Shardic’s body. Miraculously, Shardic is able to stand upright and tells the two heroes he is feeling more like his normal self. He explains that his current condition was the result of a mystical ceremony called the Gathering of Five.[2] After wrapping his body back up in bandages, he tells the two that he must now complete the mission that Gray Doleman sent him on, to find the pawnbroker and runs off.[3] Having no clue as to what Shadrac is talking about, Spider-Man and Iceman follow after him, figuring that if this involves Norman Osborn, they’ll learn the details soon enough…

… This concludes the account of Mister Snagle. Not far away, Ben Urich is also taking eye witness statements and is interviewing a woman named Miss Stipple. Stipple was actually inside the pawnshop when the incident happened….

… Miss Stipple was browsing the jewelry in Maxwell’s pawnshop when suddenly the front door was blown open by a massive burst of energy. That’s when Shadrac entered the shop with Spider-Man and Iceman in tow. Spider-Man told the woman to get to safety and the last thing she saw before she fled was the trio opening a trap door in the floor and going down into the basement…

… Watching the scene is Mary Jane Watson who is spotted by Judy Lumley, the Daily Bugle’s society and fashion reporter who also happened to be on the scene interviewing eyewitnesses. Mary Jane tells Judy that she doesn’t know what’s going on. When asked for an opinion on what she thinks about Spider-Man, Mary Jane says she doesn’t know what to make of him since she doesn’t know who he is and is just thankful that it’s not her husband.[4] Seeing J. Jonah Jameson arriving on the scene, Mary Jane takes a moment to loudly proclaim Spider-Man a hero, no matter how much grief the Daily Bugle gives the wall-crawler grief and then excuses herself because she has a plane to catch. When Jameson spots three individuals looking through the wreckage, he asks who they are. They turn out to be Terry Kwam, Javier Caldrone, and Walter Thorson, employees of TriCorp. Terry explains that they have come so they can further investigate the nature of Spider-Man’s powers, something that Jameson is delighted to hear, hoping that this research can help them get Spider-Man off the streets.[5] Flash Thompson, also on the scene, hears this and tells Jameson that he must like the sound of his voice. The two get into a heated argument, and Flash eventually begins to lose his temper and leaves, vowing to prove to Jameson that Spider-Man is a hero and that he isn’t the loser that Jameson thinks he is.[6] When Judy says she recorded it all, Jameson stops her recorder and says it’s not worth printing and spots a homeless man on the street and decides to teach her how a real reporter works. Approaching the homeless person, Jameson confirms his suspicion that they saw everything and gets them to tell their story…

… The homeless man was taking shelter from the cold in the sewers when he suddenly saw Morris Maxwell climb down a ladder and run by. This was followed by a second man (Gray Dolamn), who was then followed by Shadrac, Spider-Man, and Iceman. Curious, the homeless man follows after them and is surprised when the tunnel leads to a cavern. At the other end, he witnesses Dolamn holding Maxwell off the ground by his throat by the edge of a chasm while the other three pursuers try and decide what to do next. Gray tells Spider-Man and Iceman to leave and mind their own business but orders Shadrac to stay. When the heroes don’t budge, Gray begins to lose his temper and says that he has come to retrieve a spindle that was stolen from him by Norman Osborn and he seeks to get it back. Maxwell warns them not to let Dolman retrieve the spindle because it will allow him to regain his full power, saying that his gift of knowledge allows him to predict that if Dolman gets the spindel the city will burn.

This is all Spider-Man and Iceman need to hear and they try and attack their Gray. However, the villain is not without power and unleashes a powerful burst of energy the sends both Spider-Man and Iceman flying back. Shadrac goes to check on them and begins explaining his idea for a counter-attack when suddenly he is struck by a sudden wave of excruciating pain. This is the work of Dolamn who reminds Shadrac that he controls him. Unable to stop the pain, Shadrac orders Spider-Man and Iceman to flee before unleashing the full force of his powers. However, Dolman easily shrugs off Shadrac’s attack. Needing to get his focus back under control he grabs both Spider-Man and Iceman and tells them to help him once again. Pooling their resources together, they coat Shadrac in a mass of frozen webbing which causes the pain to subside enough for Shadrac to refocus his powers. While Spider-Man and Iceman shield Maxwell from the deadly energy being wielded by the two combatants, Shadrac then lunges at Dolamn, sending them both falling down to the bottom of the chasm below. The resulting explosion causes the cavern to collapse as Spider-Man leads the others to safety…

… That’s when the homeless man finishes his story saying that was all he saw. He suddenly screams in pain, but when Jameson asks what’s wrong, he says its nothing. That’s when Spider-Man and Iceman arrive on the scene. Spotting Jameson, Spider-Man asks him if he saw the bad guy. Jameson quips that Spider-Man is the only bad guy he sees and that he will publish that Spider-Man jeopardized the life of a homeless man below the city. Spider-Man tries to explain there was no homeless man in the caverns, Jonah turns to introduce Spider-Man to his witness, but the allegedly homeless man has disappeared. Walking away from the crowd, the “homeless man” removes his hood revealing that it he is really Gray Dolamn. Dolman gloats about how easy it was for him to escape. He then screams in pain again and his face suddenly changes into that of Shadrac. Now that the pair have been merged into a single being, Shadrac vows to override everything Dolman does. Reasserting control, Doleman can’t believe this is happening as he thought it was impossible and then runs off into the night.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Iceman, Shadrac, Gray Dolman, Morris Maxwell, J. Jonah Jameson, Betty Brant, Ben Urich, Mary Jane Watson, Flash Thompson, Terry Kwan, Javier Caldrone, Walter Thorson

Continuity Notes

  1. Betty and the other Daily Bugle reporters in this story are depicted as using pocket tape recorders to take eyewitness statements. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616 as these devices are considered an obsolete technology.

  2. Greg Herd was part of Norman Osborn’s Gathering of Five ceremony the details of which were detailed —where else?— but the Gathering of Five story arc.

  3. The “pawnbroker” he is talking about is Morris Maxwell, another member of the Five. As explained in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #2, Maxwell was granted the gift of knowledge and the reason why Shadrac is seeking him out is that Maxwell may know a way to cure him of his condition.

  4. Mary Jane’s cryptic comments alluding to Peter retiring from being Spider-Man following the events of the Final Chapter story arc. At the time of this story, Mart Jane believes that it is someone else in the Spider-Man costume. This is because Mattie Franklin had been posing as Spider-Man since Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #1, and Mary Jane saw this for herself last issue. However, she is unaware that Peter just started wearing the webs again as seen in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #2. Although she calls Peter her husband here, years later their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. Per Amazing Spider-Man #639, in this new timeline, Mary Jane would refer to Peter as her fiancee here instead of calling him her husband.

  5. The reason why the TriCorp scientists are trying to learn the nature of Spider-Man’s powers was a plot that was being developed by John Byrne during his run on Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2). Unfortunately, this plot never comes to fruition since it was quickly dropped after he left the book.

  6. Flash Thompson has been a fan of Spider-Man since the beginning of his career. Jameson mentions how Flash used to be Norman Osborn’s personal assistant when he was at the Bugle. Norman Osborn bought part ownership of the Bugle back in Spectacular Spider-Man #249 as part of a larger scheme to torment Peter Parker. He hired Flash as his personal assistant in the following issue after Flash crashed his car while driving under the influence of alcohol. Jameson’s insults about Flash’s character are in reference to his recent struggles with alcohol.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #½

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #½

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #4

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #4