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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #30

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #30

Three Hundred

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In his new apartment, Peter is hosting a game of Trivial Pursuit with his friends Randy Robertson, Jill Stacy, and Gloy Grant. Frustrated over a question about Babe Ruth, Peter goes to the kitchen for a drink and is followed by Randy.[1] Randy wants to understand why Peter insisted on moving into his own apartment and asks if it has to do with Mary Jane leaving.[2] Peter is telling Randy how he needed some personal space when his neighbor, Caryn Earle, says hello to Peter while hanging clothes on her balcony. Seeing how attractive Caryn is, Randy thinks he understands what Peter really means. Caryn then tells Peter about how she sits around her apartment naked to keep cool while she waits for their landlord to repair her air conditioner, something that makes her dog Barker nervous. After Caryn returns to her apartment, Randy points out that she has a thing for him. Peter agrees, but he’s uncertain about her dog, Barker, who eyes home suspiciously from the balcony.

Elsewhere in the city, a man has just finished doing 300 chin-ups in an apartment full of superhero and supervillain memorabilia. He then approaches a target with the picture of Spider-Man’s face on it. He vows that his hatred for the wall-crawler will run forever before ramming his fist through the target.

Back at Peter’s apartment, he isn’t home to answer a call from Smith, Goldwin, and Associates who are trying to court Peter into filing a lawsuit against Mary Jane for a huge cash settlement and they leave him a voice mail.[3] In the apartment across the way, Barker is on edge because he can smell Peter Parker on the rooftop changing into Spider-Man. As he changes, Peter thinks that his new digs allow him to operate as Spider-Man without a roommate discovering his secret identity. He is a little unnerved by Barker who eyes him as he changes and is glad the dog can’t reveal his secret. When the dog briefly goes back into Caryn’s apartment, Spider-Man hears some noises and is almost convinced the dog is building something in the apartment, before dismissing it as nonsense

Meanwhile, the man who was exercising earlier has shown up in front of the Edgar Tower wearing a full masked costume carrying a mannequin and a box of dry ice. He pushes his way past the security guard and suddenly manifests the abilities of Thor, Doctor Octopus, the Hulk, Mister Fantastic, and Captain America to terrorize the people inside. Spotting someone hiding in the rubble, this new criminal tells him to call the police and tell them that Spider-Man is here and has taken them all hostage. As he says this, the criminal suddenly takes on the shape of Spider-Man.

At that same moment, the real Spider-Man is on patrol trying to process his feelings after getting Mary Jane back only for her to leave him again. Listening to radio reports, he hears one about how he has allegedly taken a group of people hostage and races to the scene.[4] By the time Spider-Man arrives on the scene, the villain is on the roof with the mannequin. With police snipers on the roof, the masked criminal uses his dry ice machine to create a fog that obscures their ability to make a good shot. When Spider-Man confronts this new threat, he quickly learns that this man has an ax to grind with the wall-crawler even though Spider-Man doesn’t recognize him. That’s when the villain suddenly punches him with a rocky hand that resembles the Thing. When Spider-Man goes to hit back, this menace pulls out a replica of Captain America’s shield to block the blow. Telling Spider-Man that his name is Fusion and that he can duplicate the powers of every hero and villain in the city. To punctuate this point, Fusion suddenly adapts the powers of Wolverine, Cyclops, and Colossus of the X-Men as well as that of the Thing. As Spider-Man fights for his life, the police try to fire on Fusion. The villain doesn’t take kindly to this and he uses mental powers to rip the sniper rifles out of their hands. When the police still try to shoot, Fusion takes things a step further by causing guns to misfire and taking down a police helicopter. Spider-Man demands to know why Fusion is killing the officers, and the villains tell him that this is all because of him. Fusion then goes on to explain that he had a son once who was shy, a slow learner, and bullied. The child looked up to Spider-Man and one day died when he tried to imitate his idol. For that Fusion intends to kill Spider-Man, but first, he intends to make the wall-crawler pay.

With that, Fusion tosses the mannequin — now strapped with explosives — over the side of the building. Tricked into thinking it’s a live woman, Spider-Man rushes to the edge and tries to save the dummy with fires a web-line down to catch it. As he wonders why this whole situation seems so familiar.[5] As his webbing catches the falling mannequin the sudden stop makes the bomb goes off. Later radio reports reveal that the explosion had claimed the life of 300 people.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Fusion, Jilly Stacy, Randy Robertson, Glory Grant, Caryn Earle, Barker

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter’s fridge is shown having a single piece of cheese on a plate labeled “Kevin”. This is a piece of cheese that Peter has kept since Peter Parker: Spider-Man #21.

  2. There is a lot to unpack in the statement about Peter’s housing situation:

    • When everyone thought Mary Jane died in a plane crash in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #13, Peter was forced to find a new home and eventually moved in with Randy Robertson in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #18.

    • Mary Jane was eventually discovered alive in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #29. Although her reunion with Peter proved short-lived as she wanted some time to sort out her life after being kept hostage by a deranged stalker and left Peter in Amazing Spider-Man Annual 2001. Peter and Mary Jane will remain apart until Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #50.

  3. Peter is depicted as having an old telephone answering machine that records messages on a cassette tape. This should be considered a topical reference as these machines are considered obsolete. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as spouses here. However, a year later, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such their relationship would be considered a common-law relationship.

  4. Spider-Man is shown listening to the radio on a walkman cassette tape player. This should be considered a topical reference as these devices are considered obsolete.

  5. Kind of weird how Spider-Man forgets this is exactly how Gwen Stacy died in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #29

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #29

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #31

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #31