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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #50

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #50

And Here, My Troubles Begin…

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Previously….

Although his Aunt May has recently learned that her nephew, Peter Parker, is secretly Spider-Man, Peter has been reluctant to tell her about every aspect of his double life.[1] Particularly, his recent battle with the Green Goblin who attempted to use the tragedy of Gwen Stacy’s death to manipulate Spider-Man into killing.[2] When this failed, the Green Goblin orchestrated an accident that left Peter’s old high school friend Flash Thompson hospitalized in a coma.[3] Although the Green Goblin was responsible, Peter blamed himself for what happened.

Now…

Spider-Man has just busted up a gang fight between members of the Maggia and a Rastafarian mob. The wall-crawler knows that Hammerhead is somehow behind it, but when nobody talks he is forced to leave the mobsters webbed up for the authorities when the police arrive. Spider-Man then head home to get some sleep. As he arrives at his apartment, he is unaware that he is being observed by Barker, his neighbor’s dog. However, his spider-sense does go off, warning him that there is someone in his apartment. Quickly changing on the rooftop, Peter Parker rushes down to see who is in his home. Inside, he discovers Aunt May inside waiting for him. In an unapproving tone, she asks if Peter ate a square meal before going out web-slinging. She admits that she is doting over him more than usual, but explains that she is trying to come to terms with the fact that he is really Spider-Man. She suddenly stops herself when she finally connects Gwen Stacy’s death to her nephew’s alter-ego. She realizes that this puts everything into a new perspective and she wonders if she has to abandon everything she knew about her nephew now that she knows who he really is. She remembers hearing about the story on the news and how Spider-Man blamed himself for Stacy’s death. Peter tells her that he still thinks he is responsible for her death and May asks for Peter to explain himself. Recalling the incident, Peter recounts how the Green Goblin had knocked her over the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge. Although Peter knows she could have survived hitting the water, he never gave her a chance. When Spider-Man fired a web-line to break her fall, the sudden stop snapped her neck in the process. Hearing this, May feels nothing but sympathy for Peter and tries to console him by reminding him that those people who love him know he would never have intentionally gone out of his way to harm them. She tells Peter that he has held all this in for so long and asks him to tell her everything about Spider-Man. When Peter tells her that he’s tired, she is willing to hold off for a few days and collect his thoughts, but she tells him that this time he needs to tell her everything so he can face who he really is.

The following day, Peter goes through the motions teaching classes at Midtown High, while his mind tries to figure out how he is going to explain everything to his Aunt May. After dinner, Peter goes out on patrol as Spider-Man and interrupts a massive conflict between Hammerhead’s Maggia goons and almost every mob in the city.[4] Although he quickly rounds up the crooks he still doesn’t know why they are fighting each other. Once the crooks are turned over to the authorities, Spider-Man finds that he is still wired but no closer to figuring out how to tell Aunt May everything.

The next day, Peter and Aunt May are in Central Parker where Peter is playfully answering Aunt May’s questions about her powers. May takes a moment to remark about how heroism runs in the family and tells Peter the story about his cousin Harold. Harold was a member of the Special Forces who went missing in action while working undercover in North Korea. He was tortured for months but never cracked. It was this torture that led to Harold getting a limp. Peter finds this story, mostly because he learned the truth years ago from Uncle Ben, that cousin Harold injured himself in Idaho State Penitentiary where he was doing time for impersonating a Baptist minister. That’s when May notices that there is a cat caught in a tree and she tells Peter to use his abilities to save it. Peter tries to explain that he can’t just use his powers openly without his costume. May refuses to accept this and while she appears to try to climb up the tree to save the cat herself, injuring herself, it turns out that she was only creating a diversion so Peter could do it without being seen.

That evening, Spider-Man is on-site when Hammerhead personally attacks a shipment of illegal goods being brought in by the Polish mafia. After Spider-Man breaks up the mob battle, Hammerhead vows to get revenge. However, Spider-Man tells him that it’ll have to wait until later as he has bigger things to deal with. Later Peter’s at his Aunt May’s home going over photos of Spider-Man and telling her about all of his various adventures and exploits. He explains that he usually got pictures of himself by webbing up his camera and setting a timer. That’s when they come across photos of May with Doctor Octopus. She feels so embarrassed for being naive enough to allow herself to be romanced by Doctor Octopus. She thinks about how Otto almost married her and how it must have really hurt Peter to see it almost happen. She then remembers how she almost shot him around that time and apologizes it. Peter shrugs it off by making a joke about how she could work for the SWAT Team, prompting May to hit him over the head with a photo album.[5] Still, May knows there is still something that Peter is holding back and asks him to tell her. Peter can’t but tells her he’ll think hard about what she’s asking and if she still wants to go through with him, to meet him at the duck pond on Friday afternoon.[6]

Over the next few hours, Spider-Man clashes with more mobsters and learns about their next clash is. Later, he meets with Aunt May, and he decides to answer the question she wants to have answered: He tells her that the Green Goblin is actually Norman Osborn.[7] He explains how Norman got his powers from a formula that made him mad and that it was this formula that likely killed his friend Harry Osborn.[8] This makes May understand why she is always being kidnapped by supervillains until now she thought it was just bad luck. Peter asks if she is okay with all of this. May admits that she is not, but she just needs to process it and will eventually grow to accept that her nephew is Spider-Man. When Peter says he understands, she doesn’t think he does. She reminds him that the reason why he is still Spider-Man is that he still feels guilty about the death of Uncle Ben, that being Spider-Man will somehow fix it.[9] However, she tells him that Ben is dead and nothing he does will change that. Later that evening, Spider-Man ends up busting up the next mob fight, which includes a Chicago cyborg named Uber-Machine and the Rhino. The battle is quickly ended and Spider-Man is applauded by Hammerhead who had manipulated events so Spider-Man would take down his rivals. He then tells Spider-Man that he called the police, prompting Spider-Man to make a hasty retreat.

Spider-Man then returns where he falls asleep watching television. He wakes up when there is a newsflash about an alien creature making its way to the city. Although he tries to convince himself that this is way out of his league, he still goes out as Spider-Man because he can’t sit by and do nothing.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Aunt May, Maggia (Hammerhead), Barker

Continuity Notes

  1. Aunt May learned that Peter was secretly Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man (vol 2.) #35.

  2. Gwen Stacy was killed by the Green Goblin in Amazing Spider-Man #121.

  3. Spider-Man’s battle with the Green Goblin, which included a scheme that sent Flash to the hospital happened in Peter Parker: Spider-Man #44-47.

  4. Spider-Man quips that the battle is like the United Nations convened on the Jerry Springer Show. This should be considered a topical reference particularly since the infamous talk show ended its long run in 2018.

  5. Peter and Aunt May gloss over May’s brief romantic relationship with Otto Octavius, aka Doctor Octopus:

    • May first met Otto in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1, when he kidnapped her and Betty Brant in order to draw out Spider-Man. Unaware that Octavius was a criminal, May was impressed by his respectful manner.

    • May spent a period living with Doctor Octopus between Amazing Spider-Man #112 to 131. In issue #115 she tried to shoot Spider-Man when the wall-crawler invaded Otto’s hideout.

    • Aunt May almost married Doctor Octopus in Amazing Spider-Man #131, but the wedding was interrupted by Spider-Man.

  6. May mentions how Mary Jane Watson ran off to California. Mary Jane decided to leave Peter to sort out her life in Amazing Spider-Man Annual 2001.

  7. Peter and Norman Osborn learned each other’s identities in Amazing Spider-Man #39-40.

  8. Harry Osborn seemingly died after being exposed to the Goblin Formula in Spectacular Spider-Man #200. However, as explained in Amazing Spider-Man #581-582, Harry survived and was secreted away to Europe where he is undergoing rehab. He will resurface again in Amazing Spider-Man #545.

  9. Uncle Ben, Amazing Fantasy #15. Blah blah blah.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #49

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #49

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #51

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #51