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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #54

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #54

Boys and Their Toys

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After defeating Boomerang in battle, Spider-Man has noticed that there are cameras set up all over the scene and wonders who is watching him. What the wall-crawler doesn’t know is that businessman Donald Hart and his colleagues have set up an illegal gambling operation that has other wealthy people bedding on the result of superhero battles. As Hart meets with Buck Masterson, Edwin Hillis, and Gary Wisen, he details how lucrative this entire operation will be asks his potential business partners how intoxicating the entire experience is.

The next day, Peter Parker arrives at Midtown High to teach classes when he is pulled aside once again by the principal who is concerned that Peter now new cuts and bruises on his face than he did the day before. He is concerned that Peter might be abusing alcohol or that he is part of some kind of underground fight club. Peter makes up an excuse about putting a metal pot in the microwave by accident and to sell the idea that he is just incredibly clumsy, Peter intentionally walks into a door on his way to class. On his way, he catches a student named Louis trying to pick a fight with a smaller student. He breaks it up and as he writes a detention slip for him, Peter lectures Louis on not fighting someone weaker than him. Louis wonders aloud if Peter got his ass kicked, but Peter assures the boy that he won the fight that put the bruises on his face.

Meanwhile, Gary Wisen expresses his concerns about Donald’s new business opportunity, telling him that he — as well as Masterson and Hills — are only involved in legal business activities. Hart insists that they are above the law and then has Edwin Hillis to show off his addition to the competition. Hillis then unveils the robot, XP-2000, that his company has been working on as a prototype robotic bodyguard.[1] Although Hillis has faith that his robot can destroy Spider-Man, but Buck Masterson figures his selection for the next bet will succeed where Boomerang failed. He then calls in the Scorpion who puts on an a rather boisterous display to convince the four businessmen that he has what it takes to destroy Spider-Man. When he’s told that he will be working with XP-2000, the Scorpion scoffs at the robot but admits that he’s worked with worse than this. When Hart says they’ll be going after Spider-Man again, Weisen wonders why they keep singling out the web-slinger. Donald explains that Spider-Man is the perfect target since he is hated by law enforcement and is not affiliated with other heroes.

The Scorpion and XP-2000 go out hunting for Spider-Man and catch him at a payphone where the hero is calling his Aunt May.[2] However, when the pair charge at the web-slinger, Spider-Man sees it coming a mile away. When the pair attack, Spider-Man easily evades them, causing XP-2000 to accidentally blast the Scorpion. Although Scorpion slashes Spider-Man in the face and sprays acid on his shirt, the web-slinger knocks him out. When XP-2000 resumes its attack, Spider-Man asks the robot who sent them it explains how they are attacking Spider-Man as part of an illegal gambling operation. Watching this from their private viewing party, Donald Hart becomes annoyed that Hillis’ robot is revealing their secrets to Spider-Man. Deciding to do something about it, Buck orders the Scorpion to destroy the robot before it can reveal everything. Although the Scorpion lays into the wall-crawler, Spider-Man manages to web the villain’s leg to his tail causing him to trip up and give Spider-Man a quick victory much to Donald Hart’s delight. When the Scorpion refuses to give him any answers, the web-head decides to recover data from XP-2000’s memory, but before he leaves he uses one of the robot’s built-in buzzsaws to cut off the Scorpion’s tail.

That’s when Hart and his associates notice that the camera on XP-2000 is still working and Spider-Man is trying to get more information out of the robot. This prompts Donald to have Gary Wisen send in his choice operative. When they see who it is, the others are all impressed.[3]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Scorpion, Donald Hart, Buck Masterson, Edwin Hills, Gary Wisen, Boomerang, Rocket Racer (unidentified)

Continuity Notes

  1. Hillis says that his XP-2000 robot is going to be released in the summer of 2005. This should be considered a topical reference. Hillis is a parody of former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates. XP-2000 is named after two versions of Microsoft’s popular Windows operating system. He also mentions how the government forced his company to split up. This is a reference to 2001 anti-trust lawsuit between the United States government and Microsoft. If you’re bored you can read about it here.

  2. Spider-Man is openly talking to May about his activities as Spider-Man here. This is because at the time of this story May had just recently learned that Peter is Spider-Man in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 2) #35.

  3. I shouldn’t have to tell you that who the mystery combatant is revealed next issue. It’s Rocket Racer.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #53

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #53

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #55

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #55