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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #12

Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #12

The Man in the Presidential Suite

In a meeting room a gang of thieves are briefed on the Connell Diamonds. These jewels have an estimated value of seventeen million dollars. Despite the fact that they will be on display at a luxury hotel in view of thousands of people, they are going to steal it. With a box full of Santa costumes, the leader of this group wishes his men the best of luck figuring nothing will stand in their way.

At that moment, Kaine is trying to the presidential suite he has been living in since he arrived in Houston. Blocking his entry is Aracely, a Mexican girl that has been in his care after he rescued her from a human trafficking ring. She keeps demanding he pay a dollar to a swear jar. His friends, Wally Floyd and his husband Donald Meland are pleading with Kaine to stay. However, Kaine has had his fill of trying to be a hero and has decided to go back to his original plan, going to Mexico and living a life of anonymity. Stinking drunk, Kaine tells them that they have no idea what he saw when he went to a NASA facility and intends on getting out of town after having one more drink.[1] However, Kaine is so drunk he ends up passing out on the floor instead. As Wally and Aracely drag Kaine to a couch, Wally insists that they need to talk to him and let him know it is his fault and becomes annoyed when Aracely is able to read his thoughts and feelings on the issue.

That’s when there is a knock at the door. Donald answers it and is greeted by Courtney Johnson who wants to speak with Kaine. She explains that the company is happy for his business but insist that he has to check out of his suite because the Ambassador from Beligum had made reservations for the presidential suite months ago and they need to free up the room. While everyone upstairs deals with this issue, Annabelle Adams — the hotel’s bartender — is in the lobby dealing with a jilted boyfriend when suddenly a group of armed men dressed like Santa Claus come barging into the hotel and orders everyone to get on the ground if they want to live. Ducking around a corner, Annabelle tries to get her ex on the phone so she can make another call.

Back upstairs, Kaine’s other friend are trying to figure out what to do next, figuring the eviction from the presidential suite will only cement Kaine’s resolve to leave. Aracely takes a moment from the conversation to put on Kaine’s Scarlet Spider mask, which was damaged in his recent battle with Carnage. She demonstrates that it can repair itself if you think hard enough and causes it to spontaneously repair itself. They are distrubed by the level of technology needed to pull off such a feat.[2] That’s when Kaine’s phone rings. Aracely already knows it’s Annabelle and that she is scared of something. When Donald answers and hears about the armed men in the lobby he too becomes deeply concerned.

By this time, the thieves in the Santa costume have sealed off all the exits and their leader is demanding one of the staff open the safe containing the Connell Diamonds. When the man is reluctant to comply, they grab Annabelle and threaten to execute her in front of him to make an example. Back upstairs, Aracely tries to wake up Kaine, who is still passed out drunk. Wally decides to go down since he is a police officer and leaves, promising Donald he’ll stay safe. Aracely then races after him saying she will keep safe as well, leaving Donald alone in the room with Kaine. Back downstairs, the staffer is trying to open the safe but is trying to delay opening it. Annabelle tells him to stop dicking around because her life is on the line and the hotel is insured. That’s when she decides to change tactics and tells them that if they want to get their hands on some real money, they should go up and rob the guy who is staying in the presidential suite.

While upstairs, Donald is trying to get Kaine back on his feet by getting him to drink coffee. Partially awake, Kaine mumbles about how he was only made to kill and keeps on going on about all the people he killed.[3] Hearing this admission is yet another shock for Donald Meland. At this same moment, Wally has called for back up while taking the stairs down to the lobby. As he peeks out of the emergency exit he becomes aware that Aracely has followed him. When she says she has come to help, he tells her to stay put. He then tries to knock out on of the Santas, but the move makes his gun go off and Layton has to run to cover to avoid getting shot by the others. When one of the Santas radios to their boss, he is told to handle it on his own, as their leader is heading up the presidential suite. That’s when he is approached by Aracely who begins reading his mind and tells him it is okay to admit to be scared. The thief is so frightened by the fact that this girl can read his mind he ends up cowering on the floor telling her to keep away from him, much to Wally’s surprise.

Back upstairs, Kaine has finally woken up and his long monologue finally gets into his recent battle with Carnage and how all the senseless murder involved has convinced Kaine that he’s only good at killing. Hearing all of this, Donald calls Kaine an idiot for thinking that way, pointing out how he saved countless lives, including Aracely, as well as himself.[4] Donald concludes by saying that whatever Kaine was in the past is behind him, they need him now. He stresses that they don’t need a super-hero, they need someone like Kaine, as he has the rough edges that makes him the perfect defender for the city of Houston.

That’s when the leader of the diamond thieves comes barging into the room and, using Annabelle as a hostage, demands Kaine hand over all of his money. Seeing Annabell in danger finishes sobering Kaine up. He is so angered by this sight that he crushes the coffee cup in his hand. Seeing this, Annabelle recommends to the thief that he put down his gun. Kaine then beats the guy senseless. Putting on his costume, the Scarlet Spider goes down into the lobby and quickly trounces all of the other thieves. With the danger now over, the manager of the hotel asks the Scarlet Spider if there is anything he can do. At Aracely’s insistence, Kaine tells the manager that he asks that no Belgians are ever allowed to stay at the hotel, unaware that he was about to be evicted from his room.

Later that evening, Kaine and his friends are celebrating Christmas on the roof of the hotel. Watching everyone having fun, Kaine finally feels like he has made a home for himself and is happy to now have people he cares about. He finally thinks he has a chance at happiness and, as Christmas gift to himself, he has decided to try and let things work themselves out. At that moment, a mail carrier has arrived at the front desk to deliver a letter for a K. Parker. Courtney Johnson takes the letter, but has to check the guest registry to see who it might be for, since they don’t have anyone by the name of Parker registered at the hotel. This letter is addressed to Julia Carpenter, aka Madame Web and contains an ominious warning of the future.[5]

Recurring Characters

Scarlet Spider, Donald Meland, Wally Layton, Aracely Penalba, Annabelle Adams, Courtney Johnson

Continuity Notes

  1. Kaine has seen a lot of senseless slaughter caused by Carnage during the Minimum Carnage story arc. See Minimum Carnage: Alpha #1, Omega #1, Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #10-11, and Venom (vol. 2) #26-27.

  2. Donald Menkin theorizes that Kaine must be using Horizon Labs technology. He’s not wrong. The Scarlet Spider costume started off as a stealth suit invented by Peter Parker — a Horizon employee — in Amazing Spider-Man #650. Kaine was given it to wear in order to disguise himself in Amazing Spider-Man #672 and he decided to keep it afterwards.

  3. Kaine glosses over some of his history here. The facts:

    • Kaine said he was created to kill. This is partially correct. Kaine was the first clone of Peter Parker that was created by the Jackal. He was imperfect and suffered from cellular degeneration. See Spider-Man #61 for details. Because of his condition and his obsession over Ben Reilly, another Parker clone, he often murdered people who got in the way of his goals. This was partially because his cellular degeneration gave him a spider-sense so sensitive that he could see visions of possible futures and was prone to blind rages brought on by his condition.

    • Kaine states that he as killed and brought back to life. This is a reference to the Grim Hunt storyline where Kaine sacrificed himself by taking Spider-Man’s place in a sacrifice intended to bring Kraven the Hunter back from the dead. Kaine died but miraculously came back to life afterwards. It’s later explained that Kaine was brought back to life because he was chosen to be the next spider-totem of Earth. See Amazing Spider-Man #634-637 and Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #14-15.

    • He also talks about how the needed a killer in New York. This is a reference to the fact that Kaine was instrumental in destroying the Queen during Spider-Island because he was the only one with the ability to kill. See Amazing Spider-Man #672.

    • Lastly he mentions a woman he murdered named Louise. This is Louise Kennedy. In the early days of his career, Kaine had a romance with the woman in Salt Lake City until he discovered that she betrayed him and murdered her. See Spider-Man: The Lost Years #1-3.

  4. Donald mentions all the lives that Kaine has saved since coming to Houston. They are:

    • Aracely, who was a victim of human trafficking and the lone survivor of a shipment into Houston that Kaine rescued in Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #1-2.

    • Donald mentions how Kaine saved his life. A disgruntled patient put out a hit on Donald in Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #3-4. Kaine was able to save Donald’s life by making a deal with the Assassins Guild.

    • He also mentions how Wally thinks Kaine saved the entire city. Kaine stopped a terrorist group called the Watchdogs from detonating a nuclear bomb in Houston in Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #5.

    • Donald isn’t sure of the details of Kaine’s recent activities in Galvaston and figures that he did good there as well. The Scarlet Spider teamed up with the Rangers to stop a creature called Mammon from getting loose from a Roxxon facility. See Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #7-9.

  5. Madame Web had a vision of Kaine being in grave danger in Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #6. Her letter is to warn Kaine of the threat of Shathra, a mystical entity that he will face in Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #24-25.

Topical References

  • The hotel that Kaine is staying at is identified as the Four Seasons Hotel in Houston, Texas. This should be considered a topical reference because Four Seasons is a real world company.

Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #11

Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #11

Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #12.1

Scarlet Spider (vol. 2) #12.1