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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Sensational She-Hulk #6

Sensational She-Hulk #6

Star Truck

She-Hulk is the special celebrity guest at the tour of NASA's new F.T.L. facility in Cape Canaveral. She is taken out to the launch pad for the new Starblazer, which will be NASA's first faster-than-light space craft.

When Jen arrives, she is greeted by her old friend and teammate Reed Richards, who is working as an adviser on the project. Their conversation is interrupted when a giant 18-Wheeler truck, labeled the "Big Pig II", comes crashing through security! While Mr. Fantastic gets the civilians to safety, Jen tries to block the truck with her body. However, the truck just runs right over her! The truck starts circling the launch tower, driving everyone away. Jen worries that he is trying to sabotage the launch. She leaps up onto the top of the truck, and rips open the roof of the cabin--only to find that there is no one driving! The truck is running by remote control! Suddenly everyone is warned to get clear of the launch area, because the Starblazer is in launch mode! Seconds later, the Starblazer launches into the air! Reed realizes that the truck was merely a distraction to cover the hijacking of the Starblazer. The ship is too high for him to stretch to, and by the time he gets to the Fantasticar, the Starblazer will be out of range. Jen has another idea--Reed stretches himself out into a giant trampoline, and Jen bounces off him into the air after the Starblazer!

She-Hulk manages to reach the Starblazer and grab a hold of one of the boosters. She pulls herself over to the ship itself before the boosters drop off. Soon the ship is out of the atmosphere, and Jen is floating in hard vacuum. She floats up to the top of the ship, where she manages to find an airlock...but she passes out from lack of oxygen before she can get it open.

Soon, she wakes up inside the Starblazer. Once she passed out, Razorback and Taryn O'Connell brought her inside. Jen doesn't know who Taryn is, but she recognizes Razorback as a trucker-turned-superhero who ran into Spider-Man a while back. She-Hulk asks if they are chasing the hijackers too, but Razorback explains that they are the hijackers! She-Hulk tells them that she is gonna call in the Avengers at the first chance she gets, but they tell her they doubt she'll be able to. While she was unconscious, they activated the hyperdrive engines--the Starblazer is now ten thousand light years away from Earth! Jennifer demands an explanation, so Taryn tells how she got involved with Ulysses Solomon Archer and his brother Jefferson. The Archers' rig was forced off the road one night by an outlaw called the Highwayman. Ulysses (U.S. for short) wound up needing a metal cap to replace part of his skull, which somehow gave him the ability to send and receive c.b. transmission. After that, life was a big adventure for them and their friends Poppa Wheelie, Wide Load Annie, Retread, and Mary McGrill. The Highwayman turned out to be U.S.'s brother, who faked his own death after he got hooked up with an alien named Al. It turned out that all the weird things that had been going on had been part of a test set up by these aliens, who needed a human trucker to go to the stars for them. U.S. and Jefferson had a race to see who would get the job--Jefferson tried to ram him, and ended up crashing into a moon! The aliens saved Jefferson, and told U.S. that he had won the right to go with him. Poppa Wheelie's truck stop diner was in danger from a man trying to buy the land, so he and the others went along with U.S.--and took the whole diner with them! Mary McGrill also went along--and she was Taryn's rival for U.S.' affections. Mary suggested to Taryn that she should come along too--but Taryn was too scared at the time. Now that has changed, and she wants to go and find the man she loves. Since Razorback was the only trucker superhero she knew of, she turned to him for help.

She-Hulk asks why they hijacked the ship, rather than just coming to the Avengers or Fantastic Four and asking them for help. Taryn says she tried that, but they have their calls screened to block out calls from crackpots. Given how bizarre Taryn's story is, no one believed her. Jen understands her problem, even though she doesn't agree with the solution. However, that is a moot point now, since it is already done. She asks how they expect to find Archer in the vastness of space. Razorback tells her they are following the beacon from Poppa Wheelie's diner--and just then they arrive. They look out the window to see the Star Stop diner, packed with various different starships.

They dock the Starblazer and go inside, to find the same old Short Stop Diner inside, only now it serves all sorts of alien species. Inside they find Poppa giving directions to the Guardians of the Galaxy. He sees Taryn and Razorback, and rushes over to greet them! However, once he sees She-Hulk, he tries to throw her out, mistaking her for a Skrull. Taryn assures him that Jen isn't a Skrull--she's the She-Hulk. Poppa recognizes the name, and apologizes to Jen. Taryn notices all the new alien waitresses, and wonders if the trip turned out to be too overwhelming for Mary after all? Poppa tells her that Mary just took a few days off, since the baby is nearly due. Taryn's heart breaks when she hears that Mary is pregnant with U.S.' baby.

Soon, they are all gathered in the house, and Annie scolds Poppa for not finding a better way to break the news to Taryn. Poppa says he didn't realize that this would be Taryn's first time hearing about it, since U.S. and Mary have been married for so long. Taryn can't believe that she and Razorback went through all these risk and sacrifices for nothing. Mary feels badly for her, but reminds her that it was her own choice to stay behind in the first place.

Jen asks where Archer is; since the baby is almost due, she'd expect him to be around. Annie tells her that he and Retread were out on a shipping run, but were due back two days ago, and they're starting to get worried. Suddenly, they hear the blare of U.S.'s homecoming signal! However, they are alarmed to see he is coming in at full speed with no brakes! His ship smashes right through the main dome, and crashes! The dome reseals itself, and everyone rushes to check on Archer and Retread. Mary begins to run into the wreckage to find her husband, but She-Hulk urges her to stay back due to all the spilled fuel.

The truck's door opens, and Xemnu the Titan steps out! "I am Xemnu! I am your master!"

Recurring Characters

She-Hulk, Taryn O’Connell, Razorback, Mister Fantastic, Xemnu the Titan, Poppa Wheelie, Wide Load Annie, Mary McGrill, Guardians of the Galaxy (Vance Astro, Nikki, Charlie-27, Yondu, Martinex)

Continuity Notes

  • Mister Fantastic mentions how he and the Fantastic Four were testing faster than light space travel. The Fantastic Four's mission occurred in Fantastic Four #1. The reason for their space flight is considered a topical reference which changes with the times.

  • She-Hulk mentions how Razordback "mixed up with Spider-Man a while back." She is referring to the events of Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #13-15. Per the Sliding Timescale it's been roughly 2 years between those events and this story.

  • Taryn gives an abridged recap of the events of US 1 #1-12.

She-Hulk Ceremony #2

She-Hulk Ceremony #2

Sensational She-Hulk #7

Sensational She-Hulk #7