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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

She-Hulk (Vol. 2) #1

She-Hulk (Vol. 2) #1

Many Happy Returns

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Jennifer Walters goes for a jog in Central Park when she spots a woman being mugged. Deciding to do something about it, but when she tries to change into the She-Hulk, her new Gamma-Changer informs her that it is still charging. When the muggers try to silence Jennifer, she is able to defeat them easily thanks to her training, even though she is in human form. This is met with a round of applause from Captain America and Spider-Woman, who had arrived on the scene but decided to hold back and see how Jennifer did on her own. Jennifer is annoyed by the fact that they stood by and did nothing. However, Captain America explains that they were monitoring her and offer her the opportunity to join the New Avengers. Jennifer tells them that she'll think about it and call them but jogs off because she is late for work for Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg and Holliway, at the newly rebuilt Timely Plaza.

When Jennifer finally arrives at work, she finds Timely Plaza just as much of a zoo as she remembers it. She meets up with her co-worker Augustus Pugliese, who introduces her to their new client: Charles Czarkowski, the 9th richest man in the world. Czarkowski has been charged for murder for the well-publicised killing of a John Doe in the middle of a busy street in New York City. However, because of all the press, and the photo showing Charles shooting the man, Jennifer points out that he is clearly guilty. However, there is a twist to this case: Charles acted in self-defense because he claims the man was sent from the future to kill him. Deciding to take the case, the pair go down to the basement to pull all the case studies from the long boxes. However, when they arrive, they find Stu Cicero sitting in a mostly empty room. Stu tells them that they lost most of their long boxes during the destruction of the Timely Building and management has decided to cut costs by replacing their records with trade paperback collections. This angers Jen, as she was told by Holden Holliway that things would be exactly the same when she came back. However, Pug informs her that Holden is no longer working for the firm, having been replaced with someone called Arthur Zix.

Since nobody knows where Holden Holliway went, Jennifer forces herself into Zix's office and demands answers. Zix plays a message left by Holden that explains that he has left the firm in order to search for his missing granddaughter, the would-be supervillain known as Southpaw. Holliway ends his message telling Jennifer to stay in New York until he calls for her, saying she is his best lawyer and needs him there and that she can trust Arthur. After hearing a loud crash, Zix identifies the disturbance to the 10th floor, and Jennifer changes into the She-Hulk to investigate. The commotion is due to a conference between the Young Avengers known as Stature and the Vision, their lawyer Blake Tower, and Mallory Book and her clients Boomerang and Ox. The two heroes are being sued for harassment even though they were attempting to stop the villains from selling guns to children. Furious that they are being punished for preventing weapons from being sold to children, the two youths attack their foes. She-Hulk breaks up the fight with ease and is horrified to learn that GKL&H is now representing super-villains. Zix explains that supervillains have a right to a fair trial as well. When she tells the Vision it is great to see him, the android points out that he is not the original Vision, but another entity.

Later in the day, She-Hulk pays a visit to her psychologist, Doc Samson, and tells him that she thinks she sucks. She outlines why: The destruction she caused to the city of Bone, Idaho, which her cousin the Hulk took the fall for, as well as her part in the disassembly of the original Avengers following the Scarlet Witch's attack on the team, particularly her ripping the Vision apart. She also blames herself for the loss of Hawkeye, Jack of Hearts, and Ant-Man. When Samson points out the good things she has done, like her battle with Titania. Jennifer reminds him that it ended with the destruction the Excelsior apartments, Timely Plaza, and Mallory getting seriously injured. Samson tries to remind her that Titania had done all the damage before she arrived on the scene. He then cautions her that her inability to transform into She-Hulk on her own is a mental block and the Gamma Changer he invented for her is only a stop-gap measure for a larger problem.

Needing to get to the courthouse, Jennifer meets with Pug who tells her that they solved the issue of finding an impartial jury to try their client. Arthur Zix was able to get the assistance of the Time Variance Authority. Jennifer wonders how Zix was able to get them involved when they are stopped by Justice Peace who confirms their identity. He then has them sign a document legally binding them not to alter the regular flow of history. They enter the courtroom where they witness the jury being selected by Justice Love. They are all being from different times in the past before the crime in question was committed. Much to Jennifer's surprise, one of the jurors selected is none other than Clint Barton, the deceased Avenger is known as Hawkeye. Clint tries to get out of jury duty and almost lets slip that he is an Avenger, but Jennifer interrupts him to ensure that the judge forces him to stay and watch over the trial.

Later that evening as Jennifer and Pug are heading home, Augustus mentions that he noticed that something was up with her and one of the jurors. Jen admits that she knows who it is, but refuses to divulge this to the court because it's Hawkeye and she plans to try to prevent his death, regardless of the repercussions of altering the timeline to do so.

Continuity Notes

  • At the time of this story, the original Avengers had recently disbanded following Avengers: Finale #1. The New Avengers had since replaced them as seen in New Avengers #1-6.

  • Mention is made as to how Stu's comic collection was destroyed. This happened in She-Hulk #11.

  • Mallory Book recalls how She-Hulk lost her case against the Constrictor. That happened in She-Hulk #9.

  • The She-Hulk mentions a number of then-recent events:

    • She-Hulk's rampage through Bone, Idaho, happened in Avengers Vol 3 #72-75

    • The deaths of the Vision, Hawkeye, Ant-Man, and Jack of Hearts which occurred in Avengers #500-503. However, these characters have since been resurrected:

      • Ant-Man was brought back to life in Avengers: The Children's Crusade #7

      • Jack of Hearts reconstituted himself in Marvel Zombies Supreme #2

      • Hawkeye came back in New Avengers #26

    • She-Hulk's battle with Titania occurred in She-Hulk #11-12.

  • Any statements identifying this story as happening in the year 2005 should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616.

  • This story also states that Hawkeye died a year prior to this story. This is also a topical reference relevant to the date of publication and is subject to the time compression rules of the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616. Both Avengers #502 and this story fall under "Year 11" of the Modern Age. As such the event would have happened a few months prior as opposed to a full year.

She-Hulk #12

She-Hulk #12

She-Hulk (Vol. 2) #2

She-Hulk (Vol. 2) #2