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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Solo Avengers #13

Solo Avengers #13

Beware the Bullet Biker!

A brand new super-villain called the Bullet Biker has exploded on the scene — literally — when he drives his motorcycle in through the window of an art gallery. Knocking out the guards with knock out gas, he then uses his wrist mounted weapon to destroy all the works of art on display before making a daring escape from the police.

Back at the gallery, reporter Gayle Rogers has already arrived on the scene and is interviewing the gallery owner, who uses the opportunity to go on a tirade about lawlessness in Los Angeles. Also arriving is Hawkeye of the West Coast Avengers who has gotten involved in the investigation since this was the 5th such attack by the Bullet Biker. Gayle insists on tagging along with Hawkeye in the hopes of getting a scoop and finish the interview that was interrupted a few weeks earlier.[1]

Taking her for a ride on his sky-cycle, Hawkeye compares notes on the case with Gayle. They believe that this is part of some kind of extortion racket since most of the galleries that have been targeted were owned by the wealthy J. Marcus Waldner. Along the way, Gayle also asks probing questions about Hawkeye’s crime fighting career and gets him to admit that he fights crime for the thrill of it.

When they arrive at Waldner’s mansion they discover that the Bullet Biker was already there. Marcus tells them that the villain demanded that Waldner pay a massive amount of money. When Marcus refused, the Biker beat him up, trashed his house, and threatened to target more of his art galleries. Hawkeye tries to get Gayle to stay behind because things are getting violent, but she insists on tagging along until Clint relents and takes her with him.

With information they gathered from Waldner, Hawkeye is able to catch Bullet Biker in the act of trashing a warehouse where priceless works of art are being kept. This leads to a wild chase through the streets of Los Angeles. As he chases his quarry, Bullet Biker’s skills reminds Clint of a stunt motorcyclist named Dillon Zarro, from back in his carnival days. When Bullet Biker can’t shake off Hawkeye, he goes to the rooftops and sacrifices his motorcycle to trash Clint’s skycycle.[2] This allows Bullet Biker to retreat to his van that he had stashed in the area.

As he tries to flee the scene, the Bullet Biker also finds Hawkeye’s archery skills familiar to that of a kid from his carnival days and wonders if they are the same person.[3] However, he doesn’t get very far as Hawkeye arrives on the scene and blows out the van’s front tires. Clint is surprised to see that Bullet Biker is Dillon Zarro. When the police come to take Zarro away, Hawkeye tells Gayle that this is the downside of being a superhero, catching someone they know and seeing how they wasted their potential. Gayle is impressed by Clint’s level of depth and says she’ll call him up to finish their interview another time. With his marriage on the rocks, Hawkeye finds himself interested in seeing Gayle again and hopes this is the start of beautiful friendship.[4]

Recurring Characters

Hawkeye, Bullet Biker, Gayle Rogers

Continuity Notes

  1. Hawkeye had to leave an interview with Gayle to hunt down the vigilante known as Blind Justice. See Solo Avengers #9.

  2. Clint mentions he owes “Jorge” for building his sky-cycle. This would be Jorge Latham who worked at Cross Technological Enterprises. He designed the sky-cycle for Hawkeye when he worked as the head of security for the company. See Hawkeye #1.

  3. As detailed in Solo Avengers #2, Clint was an orphan who ran away and joined the carnival.

  4. Hawkeye and his wife Mockingbird split up in West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #37. This was over a difference of opinion on killing an opponent. See, in West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #17-23, Mockingbird was kidnapped by the Phantom Rider and forced to drink a love potion. When she freed herself from the Rider’s control, she let him fall off a cliff to his death. When Clint found out about this in issue #35, he was unhappy with her due to the fact that the Avengers have a code against killing. The two will ultimately reconcile in West Coast Avengers (vol. 2) #46.

Topical References

  • Hawkeye makes a rather tasteless joke about Gayle Rogers being related to reporter Barbara Walters, making fun of her speech impediment. Believe it or not, the way Barbara Walters spoke was often used as a punchline to many jokes in the 1980s. At any rate, this should be considered a topical reference since Walters retired as a news anchor in 2014. At 92 years old at the time of this writing (March 2022), she’s also probably not going to be around for much longer.

  • J. Marcus Waldner is referred to as a millionaire in this story. Which was a lot of money in 1988 when this story was published. Not so much now. Any reference to his monetary worth should be considered topical because inflation is a thing.

The Fall Guy

Wonder Man, aka Simon Williams, is on the set of his latest movie where he is playing the stunt man for actor Dirk Studly. He super-human powers for a dramatic scene where Simon saves a baby from a speeding bus by stopping it. When the director calls cut, Simon asks how well he did and is dismissed so they can shoot the needed scenes with Dirk. Annoyed by being treated with indifference, Simon quits on the spot and flies away with his jet belt.

As he leaves, an alien probe arrives on the movie set looking for Wonder Man. Mistaking Dirk for the hero, they take possession of his body and are a little surprised to discover that it doesn’t feel superhuman.

Meanwhile, Wonder Man’s jets run out of fuel and he ends up doing a face plant into the pavement just past the studio security gate. Adding insult to injury, the security guard mistakes him for Dirk Studly.

By this time, the probe has found the real Wonder Man and begins recording his movements. When he passes by a demolition site, the work crew asks Simon to help them knock down the building. He is more than happy to oblige, but the aliens use the opportunity to take remote control of the wrecking ball and attack him with it, sending him crashing into the building. The aliens then begin scolding Takumer, the alien that was supposed to have taken possession of Wonder Man, only to learn that Simon isn’t under their control.

The aliens then animate a pile of bricks, transforming it into a monster, and have it attack Wonder Man knocking him back onto the movie set. There, Takumer leaves Dirk Studly’s body and tries to take possession of the real Wonder Man. However, his unique nature prevents the hostile take over, forcing Takumer to manifest in physical form as a massive bunny-like creature. As the two engage in an all out brawl, both the aliens and the film director order cameras rolling to capture the whole ordeal on film.

Ultimately, Wonder Man wins the bout and learning that the aliens were recording the fight for their entertainment, he crushes their probe. The director tries to convince Takumer to sign onto a picture deal but the alien creature declines as he was only being offered in scale and teleports back to his native dimension, much to the director’s chagrin.

Recurring Characters

Wonder Man

Topical References

  • When a building false front falls down around Wonder Man, he quips that he saw something like this in a Buster Keaton film. This wouldn’t necessarily be considered a topical reference since this is a classic moment in cinema that has been payed homage to countless times. An actor and film buff himself, Simon would know about this film regardless of how old it is.

  • What would be considered topical though is the guy wearing a “I Survived Heaven’s Gate”. Heaven’s Gate was a religious cult that was founded in the 1970s. While they were generally regarded as yet another fringe group of kooks the time this story was published, that t-shirt takes a much darker undertone when you consider that, in 1997, many of Heaven’s Gates followers committed mass suicide by drinking poison, believing that their souls would be transported to the passing comet Hale-Bopp. While there are still some followers that remained to continue to spread their “gospel” the group is not as active as they used to be. Their website is dated as fuck.

Solo Avengers #12

Solo Avengers #12

Solo Avengers #14

Solo Avengers #14