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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #7

Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #7

The Honeymoon

At the Native American reservation near Hartsdale, New Mexico, the Puma undergoes a challenge to prove that he is still worthy of his power. With the challenge over, his uncle Joseph Threetrees still thinks he acted inappropriately. He explains that he was chosen to protect the tribe from "He Who Comes From Beyond". He succeeded in his task with the help of Spider-Man but has yet to thank him for his assistance. Reverting back into human form, Thomas Fireheart is told that he needs to repay Spider-Man for his help as a matter of honor. Thomas is not happy with this as he doesn't particularly like the wall-crawler but resigns to his uncle's request. Getting into a limo, Thomas calls ahead to get to Spider-Man.

Days later, in the village of Cassis in the south of France, Peter and Mary Jane have arrived at a cottage to celebrate their honeymoon. After paying their driver, Peter and Mary Jane get their luggage into the cottage. Inside, Mary Jane finds a letter from Bruce, the man who tried to talk Mary Jane out of marrying Peter, but gave up and gifted them with this trip. Thinking that Peter might be sensitive about Bruce's actions, she hides a picture of him. However, Peter is completely floored by the size of the bathroom as it is bigger than his apartment. When Peter comments that Bruce has everything, Mary Jane reminds him that Bruce doesn't have her.

A few days later, Peter and Mary Jane are walking along the beach. Peter wishes he could earn enough money to provide this sort of lifestyle for Mary Jane. He worries that he can't provide her with the luxuries she is used to. Mary Jane notices that Peter is brooding again and decides to get his mind off it. When she suggests that they go for a swim before lunch, Peter points out that they didn't bring their swimsuits. That's when Mary Jane tosses her dress at him and tells Peter they don't need any. That evening, the newlyweds go to Max Caizergues for dinner. Peter is taken aback by how fancy the place is. Mary Jane can hardly believe they are married as she never saw herself doing so. When the waiter comes by he remembers Mary Jane from past visits and tells them that he will have a special meal prepared for them. They are spotted by two model friends of Mary Jane and they are excited to hear that MJ had recently got married. They are also congratulated by a man named Carmen who owns one of the biggest fashion agencies. Through all of this Peter feels like a third wheel. Peter decides to excuse himself, and Carmon offers Mary Jane an exclusive contract. She tells him that she will think about it, since such a contract would take her away from her husband for long periods of time. On their way home, Peter is still brooding over how he can provide for Mary Jane. When Mary Jane notices this, she swerves their car off the road so they can enjoy the moonlight by the beach.

When the couple finally returns to their cottage, they notice that the lights are on. Suspecting trouble, Peter tells Mary Jane to wait outside while he checks things out. Peter is shocked to discover Thomas Fireheart is inside. When Mary Jane comes in, Fireheart tells Peter his real name and gives Mary Jane a wedding gift. Thomas explains that he has come to offer Peter a job that will put his scientific skill to work and continue his career as Spider-Man. He also offers him the opportunity to work with him when he goes on operations as the Puma. Mary Jane things this plan is wonderful, but Peter isn't sure if he wants to make a deal with one of his enemies. Thomas tells Peter to think it over and if she wishes to take the offer, he has to recover some stolen property and is willing to pay him a large sum of money for Spider-Man's assistance. Later that evening, Peter can't sleep and thinks about this offer, how it will give him everything he wants. His thoughts take him out to the beach and thinks about the deal, but can't bring himself to trust Fireheart. His thoughts are interrupted by Mary Jane who comes to see what's wrong. Peter assures her that things will turn out just fine.

The next evening, Peter arrives at Fireheart's office in Marseilles. There he tells Thomas that he will give Fireheart's offer a shot, but refuses to be his simple lackey. Thomas then goes over their mission. He tells Peter that his client wishes him to recover some stolen merchandise from a group of smugglers. They had stolen the Ova Ignata, a pair of golden eggs that are worth a fortune. One has been stored in the Bourse and the other at St. Victor's Basilica. Peter is impressed with the preparations that Thomas has made, but is annoyed that he also arranged to get Peter a Spider-Man costume and equipment. However, Fireheart assures him that he made sure that Peter's secret identity was maintained. Back at the cottage, Mary Jane throws a party with her model friends. Meanwhile, Peter puts on the costume provided to him by Thomas and is surprised at how everything is down to the right detail. However, when he tries out the web-shooters, he discovers that the webbing is too brittle to carry his weight and ends up falling into a barrel of fish. Peter then goes back to Fireheart Industries, where he uses one of the labs to create a proper web-spinning formula. However, because all of the chemicals are listed in some kind of code, Peter has to wing it. When he goes back out into the city as Spider-Man, Peter discovers that this batch of webbing is acidic.

Unaware that he is being monitored by Thomas Fireheart, Spider-Man arrives at Saint Victor's. There he goes in through the roof and runs into a priest. He goes looking for the stolen property, he happens upon a gang of ninjas who attack him on sight. He easily dispatches the ninjas, who run when they discover that Spider-Man's webbing is acidic. He continues his search for the stolen egg, with the priest following not far behind. He locates the egg hidden in one of the steps of a grand staircase. Suddenly, Spider-Man is confronted by a massive brute in armor who has come to take the egg. He easily defeats him by shooting his webbing up at a chandelier, causing it to fall on his head. Suddenly, the priest -- now able to speak perfect English -- pulls a gun on the wall-crawler. Detecting this thief, Fireheart has his technician activate a drone to attack the both of them. Thomas is annoyed at the fact that he arranged this whole exercise to convince Spider-Man to accept his offer. As Spider-Man struggles to reclaim the egg and avoid getting blasted, he's forced to turn around and save the life of the thief when he falls off a balcony trying to get away from the drone. As he dodges the drone, Spider-Man accidentally drops the egg. He then tries to catch it with his webbing, but their acidity causes it to melt. Furious, because he had just realized he wanted the Puma's job, Spider-Man leaps up and smashes the drone to bits. Inside, he discovers a microprocessor similar to the one that Fireheart built into his web-shooters.

Later that evening, Mary Jane is at the Concorde Prado and is about to call it a night. It's there that she spots Thomas Fireheart sitting at a table by himself and decides to join him. Thomas vents his frustration with how much of an amateur Peter has been on his mission. Mary Jane avoids responding by complimenting Fireheart on his appearance. Suddenly, Peter arrives with the junked drone. He dumps up the shredded costume and broken web-shooters. Pulling out a microprocessor, he reveals he figured out that the entire exercise was a ruse to monitor his abilities. Peter refuses to take his job offer because he believes that Thomas does not trust him. Peter tells him to take his job and shove it, saying that he'll find his own way to provide his wife the life she deserves. The next day, Peter and Mary Jane have just finished packing. He asks Mary Jane to be honest to tell him the truth on if he made a mistake botching the offer Fireheart made. She tells him that he did the right thing. They are then interrupted by Thomas Fireheart who has come to apologize for treating him like a child. He explains that he only made the offer to get his uncle off his back and repay his debt of honor. Peter tells him that this debt will be paid if Thomas destroys all the information he collected on Peter Parker. Thomas agrees and bids the couple farewell. Peter then tells his wife that they have a plane to catch so they can begin their new life together.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Puma, Joseph Threetrees

Continuity Notes

  • Spider-Man and the Puma battled the Beyonder in Amazing Spider-Man #273 and Peter Parker, The Spectacular Spider-Man #111. Threetrees explains that others destroyed the Beyonder. This happened in Secret Wars II #9.

  • Years later, Peter and Mary Jane's marriage is erased from existence by the demon Mephisto, as seen in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As a result, Peter and Mary Jane are no longer husband and wife here, but a common-law couple. As explained in Amazing Spider-Man #639, even though Peter and Mary Jane did not get married, they still went on this trip to work on their relationship.

  • In this story, Peter pays the driver in French Francs. This should be considered a topical reference per the Sliding Timescale of Earth-616. Particularly since the Franc was replaced with the Euro when the country joined the European Union.

Spectacular Spider-Man #129

Spectacular Spider-Man #129

Spectacular Spider-Man #130

Spectacular Spider-Man #130