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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man #1

Spider-Man #1

Torment: Part 1

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High above the claustrophobic city streets swings the amazing Spider-Man. He happens upon a mugging taking place in the back alley. Lowing himself down to the street, Spider-Man orders the mugger to leave his victim alone. The thief turns isn't afraid of the wall-crawler and opens fire. However, the masked hero easily dodges the bullets until the gun is completely out of bullets. Spider-Man then crushes the weapon with his bare hand and leaves the crook webbed up for the authorities. Meanwhile, at a mansion, the sounds of beating drums can be heard. The woman beating the drums then calls out, ordering someone to rise. Elsewhere, the Lizard emerges from the brackish waters, more savage then ever before.

At that moment, at his Soho apartment, Peter Parker complains about muggers to his wife Mary Jane.[1] After his many battles against powerful super-villains, Peter wonders what thieves are thinking when they try to defy him.[2] Hearing all this, Mary Jane quips that she finds it cute when Peter gets all philosophical. Elsewhere a rat scurries across a trash-strewn alley until it's caught by the Lizard. However, before the reptile can consume the rodent, he notices some men stealing televisions from a broken storefront window. Back at the Parker home, Mary Jane asks her husband if he's not getting a little high on himself. When Peter jokingly begins boasting how awesome he is, she begins to tickle him.

Meanwhile, the sound of the drums has driven the Lizard into a frenzy and he ambushes the thieves. Without a single shred of humanity or intelligence left, the Lizard slaughters most of the men. One of them, however, pulls a gun and shoots the Lizard repeatedly, apparently killing him. Back at the mansion, the woman's drums stop when the Lizard dies. However, she pricks her finger and bleeds into a chalice, causing the beat to begin again and the Lizard to rise again. Two of the thieves have attempted to flee into an alley, but unfortunately for them, the Lizard appears before them. With his gore-splattered hands, the reptile closes in for the kill. At dusk, Peter Parker is preparing to go out on patrol. After putting on his costume he tells Mary Jane that he'll be home before dinner and heads out, asking his wife to save the newspaper for him. The front-page story in the Daily Bugle that day is about the senseless murder of three people. As Spider-Man swings across the city, he feels reinvigorated and wishes that his wife could experience the experience for herself, and figures maybe one day she will. His mind then turns to his current financial woes and wonders how Thor is able to perform feats of acrobatics with a cape.

As night falls, a man named Ralph Dill takes a shortcut through an alley to get home. Unfortunately for him, he happens upon the Lizard. Still, under the control of the mysterious woman, the creature slaughters him as well. As Spider-Man continues to swing across the city, he is completely unaware of the horror that is occurring in the alley below him.

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Mary Jane Watson, Calypso, Lizard

Continuity Notes

  1. Peter and Mary Jane are referred to as husband and wife here. However, years later, their marriage was erased from history by the demon Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. As such they should be considered a common-law couple here.

  2. The various villains that Spider-Man has faced he boasts that he even fought Thanos once. That happened in Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2. Other villains included Doctor Doom, the Hulk, the Green Goblin, Hobgoblin, the Rhino, Red Skull, and Venom. Spider-Man first fought these foes in Amazing Spider-Man #5, 14, 238, 41, Annual #5, and 301 respectively.

Spider-Man in the 1990s

Spider-Man in the 1990s

Spider-Man #2

Spider-Man #2