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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man #89

Spider-Man #89

Spider, Spider

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Norman Osborn meets with the Punisher, telling the vigilante that he needs his help. He explains that his grandson Normie has been kidnapped by the Green Goblin.[1] However, he is certain that Spider-Man is also involved which is why he put our a five million dollar bounty on the wall-crawler’s head. However, with gun-toting bounty hunters keeping the police busy preventing unnecessary deaths, Norman realizes that he has made a mistake. This is why he liberated the Punisher from his captors since he needs a professional to deal with this situation as quickly as possible.[2] Hearing all of this, the Punisher has only one question: who is he? Remembering that the vigilante is suffering from amnesia, Norman Osborn reminds the Punisher that his name is Frank Castle, aka the Punisher.[3] Accepting all of this, the Punisher vows to bring Spider-Man in or die trying.

Elsewhere in the city, Spider-Man is trying to escape from the bounty hunter named Shotgun, particularly since his mask has been damaged and he doesn’t want anyone to see his real face.[4] Evading Shotgun’s shots, Peter quickly wraps webbing around his face in order to conceal his identity again. With both Shotgun and armed fortune seekers shooting at him, Spider-Man begins to seriously consider taking the Black Tarantula’s warning and getting out of town. However, he cannot bring himself to do this while Normie Osborn is still missing. In order to get away from all the gunshots, Spider-Man smashes through an apartment window and forces himself through two apartment units in order to get away from them.[5] Coming out the other side, Spider-Man fires a web-line thinking he’s home free when a bullet cuts the web, sending the wall-crawler falling into the nearby river. This perfect shot was made by none other than the Punisher who watches as Spider-Man lands in the water below.

At that moment, at the New York City Medical Center, Jill Stacy is visited by her classmates Mary Jane and Shantal Wilsk. While they are there, Jill’s father Author asks Mary Jane to go over the details as to how his daughter got shot.[6] At the same time, her brother Paul is watching news coverage about Normie Osborn’s kidnapping and Spider-Man’s possible connection. Shantal asks Paul to turn it off but when he hesitates, Mary Jane angrily takes the remote control out of his hands to turn off the TV herself. That’s when Norman Osborn enters the room, and his presence clears most of the young people in the room.[7] When Arthur asks Osborn what he wants, Norman asks for Arthur’s experience as a private investigator to assist him in capturing Spider-Man.

While along the coast of the East River, Clarence Fielding — a meek bookkeeper who is in desperate need of money — is out searching for Spider-Man in the hopes he might collect the bounty. Luck certainly shines on him as he catches the wall-crawler as he pulls himself out of the water. When Spider-Man suddenly collapses, Clarence realizes that he is not breathing and gives the hero CPR. When Spider-Man revives he tells Clarence to put the gun away unless he plans on using it. Fielding complies and explains that he really needs the bounty money after he lost his job and his wife. As other people pull up in cars, Spider-Man points out that Clarence is not like the other bounty hunters since he could have had easy money if Clarence had allowed him to drown, but he didn’t. Surprisingly, Spider-Man’s words get through to Clarence who aims his gun at the other bounty hunters and tells them to get back. They laugh at the little man, but things become more serious when both the Punisher and Shotgun arrive on the scene. His spider-sense going crazy, Spider-Man tells Clarence to run for cover. Moments later, everyone begins opening fire, prompting Spider-Man to quickly weave a shield out of webbing to shield himself and Clarence from the crossfire. Spider-Man then begins using his webbing to incapacitate the shooters before someone gets hurt. That’s when Jimmy-6 arrives and asks Spider-Man why he is wasting his time saving the people who are gunning for him. As they slip into a warehouse, Spider-Man asks Jimmy what he is doing, Jimmy explains that he owes Spider-Man his life and has come to return the favor. Sealing the door with webbing, the wall-crawler tells him that their debt is clear and to get Clarence to safety.[8]

With Jimmy and Clarence gone, Spider-Man begins trying to figure out his next move when his spider-sense starts ringing again. That’s when both the Punisher and Shotgun come crashing through opposite walls. By this point, the Punisher’s memories start flooding back and realizes that Spider-Man is not a criminal and orders Shotgun to back off.[9] That’s when the Green Goblin tosses in a bunch of large pumpkin bombs that go off before anyone can get clear of the building.

This story is continued in Sensational Spider-Man #255…

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Norman Osborn, Shotgun, Punisher, Mary Jane Watson, Ben Urich, Jill Stacy, Arthur Stacy, Paul Stacy, Jimmy-6, Clarence Fielding, Shantal Wilsk, Green Goblin, John Romita, Virginia Romita

Continuity Notes

  1. The Green Goblin kidnapped Normie Osborn in Sensational Spider-Man #5.

  2. The Punisher turned himself over to the authorities in Heroes for Hire #9. He was immediately freed by Norman Osborn’s men the next issue.

  3. Frank Castle has been suffering from amnesia since he survived an explosion in Punisher (vol. 3) #17.

  4. Spider-Man’s mask was ripped wide open during his battle with the Black Tarantula in Amazing Spider-Man #432. Shotgun found him in that same issue.

  5. One of the apartments Peter smashes through is one own by John Romita, Sr. and his wife Virginia. While the appearance of real-life people are typically considered topical references this rule is exempt for Marvel Comics creators (and I suppose in this case, their immediate family) who exist in the Modern Age of Earth-616 usually being in the relative prime of their lives.

  6. Jill was shot by an assassin who was gunning for Peter Parker’s family, as seen in Spider-Man #87.

  7. Norman Osborn refers to Mary Jane as “Mrs. Parker” here. At the time of this story, Peter and Mary Jane are married. However, years later, their marriage is erased from existence by Mephisto in Amazing Spider-Man #545. In this new timeline, Norman likely calls Mary Jane “Miss Watson” instead of “Mrs. Parker”. His comments about Peter directed at her are a subtle hit to the fact that Norman knows that Peter Parker is secretly Spider-Man, something that Norman has known since Amazing Spider-Man #39-40.

  8. Jimmy-6 has felt indebted to Spider-Man (actually Ben Reilly at the time) for saving his life in Spider-Man #70-71.

  9. The Punisher recalls how he was once hired by a criminal to try and kill Spider-Man once. He is referring to Amazing Spider-Man #129 when he was tricked by the Jackal to hunt down Spider-Man.

Spider-Man #88

Spider-Man #88

Spider-Man #90

Spider-Man #90