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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Spider-Man 2099 #17

Spider-Man 2099 #17

Ye Gods

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This story continues from Punisher 2099 #13...

Suspended by a rope over angry members of the Fenris, Miguel O'Hara thinks back to how he got himself into this situation....

It was in the aftermath of the battle on the floating city of Valhalla. Spider-Man, Ravage, the Punisher, and Doctor Doom were about to part company as the city was supposed to suffer an engine failure and collapse into the ocean.[1] Spider-Man hitches a ride on the back of the Punisher's sky-cycle. As they leave, Spider-Man notices that Valhalla has changed course and is floating away from them. They realize that Doom has double-crossed them and taken control of Valhalla for himself. The Punisher decides to turn around and find out what Doom is up to. That's when a holographic projection of Doom's face appears before them. He explains that he no longer needs them, but as the Punisher continues to push forward, they are jolted by an energy blast that kills the engines of his sky-cycle. As they plummet, Spider-Man weaves a parachute out of webbing until the vigilante can get his vehicle under his control. By this point, Spider-Man just wants to get back to Nueva York, as going after Doom would be a suicide run. Even though the Punisher questions Spider-Man's "manliness", but Spider-Man is unphased.

Back in the city, Spider-Man swings Downtown where he sees Bloodsword, the leader of the Fenris, rallying his gang members. The hero is horrified to see that he is wielding the hammer used by the phony Thor that he battled on Valhalla. Even more shocking is the fact that Miguel's mother, Conchata, is among the crowd. Swinging onto a rooftop, Miguel wonders what to do next. He fears pulling her out of the crowd as Spider-Man as it will reinforce her worship of his alter-ego, or worse, tip her off that Miguel is really Spider-Man.[2] He decides that he doesn't care and heads home and leave his mother to fend for herself. Meanwhile, at Miguel's home, his brother Gabriel tries to Layla -- Miguel's virtual assistant -- that he cannot eat anymore. That's when Dana D'Angelo arrives and tearfully tells Gabriel that Miguel is dead.[3] Back downtown, Bloodsword -- now calling himself Bloodhammer -- tells his followers how his leadership was challenged by Hogun, another Fenris member. However, when the hammer believed to belong to Thor came falling from the sky and slew Hogun, Bloodsword took it as a sign from the gods.

As Bloodhammer rants and raves, Miguel finds his mother in the crowd and tries to convince her to come home. However, she refuses, and when Miguel presses the issue, Conchatta screams for help. Miguel is quickly swarmed and subdued by the Fenris. Although he could easily break free, he can't without blowing his identity. When Bloodhammer demands to know what he Miguel is trying to do, O'Hara tries to explain that his mother has mental health issues and she needs to be taken back to her home. Bloodhammer is sympathetic but refuses to grant his request, ordering his men to kill Miguel...

... And this is how Miguel found himself strung upside down by the Fenris. Although Conchata begs Bloodhammer to spare her son, he refuses. Miguel then asks for the chance to pray to Thor for salvation. Bloodhammer agrees, and while Miguel pretends to pray, he uses his talons to cut through the ropes and free himself. When he tries to convince the Fenris that this was a sign from Thor, they all believe it but Bloodhammer who smells a trick. When the gang leader approaches Miguel, O'Hara cries out that Thor has appeared. As the gullible members of the Fenris look up to get a sight of their savior, Miguel knocks out Bloodhammer with a single blow. He then tells the Fenris that their leader fainted at the sight of Thor. This causes the members of the Fenris to get into a brawl as they argue over who really saw Thor or not. As the idiots pummel themselves senseless, Miguel manages to sneak away with his mother in tow. They then make their escape in a car that his mother stole. She is upset with him, not for coming to her rescue, but for lying about seeing Thor. This upset her because she realized how gullable the Fenris was. When Miguel asks how she knew he was lying, she points out that she is crazy, not stupid. This makes Miguel laugh, and his mother tells him to shut up.

As they drive out of Downtown, a lame old man who manages to steal the hammer from Bloodhammer while he was knocked out. Discovering that it is powerless, he is resigned to the fact that the weapon is now useless. He figures it's part for the course, as the Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, particularly the lord of industry.[4]

Recurring Characters

Spider-Man, Conchata O’Hara, Gabriel O’Hara, Lyla, Dana D’Angelo, Bloodsword/Bloodhammer, Hogun, Punisher, Ravage, Doctor Doom

Continuity Notes

  1. The battle in question took place during the Fall of the Hammer event.Fall of the Hammer

  2. Miguel learned that his mother worships his alter-ego in Spider-Man 2099 #10.

  3. Dana believed Miguel was killed when he was thrown from Valhalla by Thor during last issue.

  4. This man is Cecil McAdam, the man who was posing as Thor during the Fall of the Hammer event. He lost his powers when the hammer was taken from him in Punisher 2099 #13.

Spider-Man 2099 #16

Spider-Man 2099 #16

Spider-Man 2099 #18

Spider-Man 2099 #18